Sunday Family Humour 16th July Page 2

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday


These are Well Stated

Thanks to Coach
 
BEAUTY PARLOR 
A place where women curl up and dye.
 
CHICKENS 
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.  
 
COMMITTEE 
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
 
DUST 
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
 
EGOTIST 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.  
 
HANDKERCHIEF 
Cold Storage.  
 
INFLATION 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. 

MOSQUITO 
An insect that makes you like flies better. 
 
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority. 

RAISIN 
A grape with a sunburn.  
 
SECRET 
A story you tell to one person at a time. 

SKELETON 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. 

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.
 
TOMORROW   
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
 
YAWN 
An honest opinion openly expressed.  
 
WRINKLES 
Something other people have....similar to my character lines. 
 
OLD
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
. . . and that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!
 

How the Addiction Begins

Thanks to Joanne J.

How the addiction begins.mp4


Same Old Stuph But Different

Thanks to Bert


 
stuph 1


   
stuph 2

 
stuph 3
   
stuph 4

 
stuph 5
   
stuph 7


 
stuph 6
   
stuph 8

 
stuph 9
   
stuph 10

 
Stuph 11
   
stuph 12

 
stuph 12
   
stuph 14


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Elephant Traffic Jam

Thanks to Colin H.

elephant traffic jam.mp4



Grand Canyon

Thanks to Colin H.

Grand Canyon of Arizona.ppt


Musings

Thanks to Coach

Musing 1
 
 
musing 2

 
 
musing 3
 
musing 4
 
 
musing 5
 
musing 6
 
 
musings 7
 
musing 8
 
 
musings 9
 
musings 10

 
 

Charm School Graduate

Thanks to Anna and Jim V.

Two nicely dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in Los Angeles airport.

The first lady was an arrogant Californian woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."


The first woman continued, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had  your first child?" "My husband sent me to Charm School," declared the Southern lady.

"Charm School?" the first woman said, amazed, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying, "Who gives a shit?"
I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart!"


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