Sunday Family Humour 16th April Page 2

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday


Philosophy 101

Thanks to Tully

If  we all understood this at 25, life could have been much simpler!

As we grow older, and hence wiser (wisdom), we slowly realize that:
Whether we wear a $300 or $30 watch - - - they both tell the same time.

Whether we carry a $300 or $30 wallet/handbag - - - the amount of
money inside is the same.

Whether we drink a bottle of $300 or $30 or $3 wine - - - the hangover is the same.

Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3,000 or 30,000 sq. ft. - - -
the loneliness is the same.

And we realize our true inner happiness does not come from the
material things of this world.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down - - - we go down with it.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane reaches its
destination - - - everyone arrives at the same time.

We should realize that when we have mates, buddies and old friends,
brothers and sisters, with whom we can chat, laugh, talk, sing, talk
about north- south-east-west or heaven and earth -- that is true
happiness.

Six Undeniable Facts of Life

1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy,
so when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the
price.

2. Best wise words: "Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food."

3. The one who loves you will never leave you because, even if there
are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human.  Only a few folks really understand that.

5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage.

6. If you just want to walk fast, walk alone; but, if you want to walk
far, walk together.

Six Best Doctors in the World
1. Sunlight
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Diet
5. Self Confidence
6. Friends



Google Wind

Thanks to Joanne J

Google Wind



Weather

Thanks to Spike

Weather.ppt


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Happiest Video Ever

Thanks to Joanne J

Happiest Video Ever


New Alphabet

Thanks to Tully


Alpha 1
New Alphabet :
A
is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

alpha 3

alpha 4
Now The
Alpha 4
Alphabet:
alpha 5
alpha 6

A's
for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

alpha 7
D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for farting and fluid retention, G is for gut droop, which I'd rather not mention.

Alpha 7
H high blood pressure -- I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

alpha 9
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

Alpha 10
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

alpha12
W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have -- in my mind!

alpha 15

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
HAVE A GREAT DAY !
alpha 13

Pileated Woodpecker

Thanks to Spike

Pileated Woodpecker


Ramblings of a Tired Mind

Thanks to Spike
I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"  I looked at her, and said,
 
 "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.”  She didn't quite know how to respond
 
  Am I getting to be that age?
  
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.
   
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
  
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it 'Pumping Rust.'
 
 When people see a cat's litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, 
“No, it's for company!”
  
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.   I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.'
 
 The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
  
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
  
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
 
 Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The'   and ' IRS ' together it spells   'Theirs...'
  
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
 
 Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
  
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
  
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
  
May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care

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