Sunday Family Humour 11th June Page 2

Free Entertainment and Family Fun Every Sunday


Kids & Marriage

Thanks to Spike
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?   (written by kids)  
    
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.  
- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're  going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.  
- Kristen, age  10  
 
2.  WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
  
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10 
 
 
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? 

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be  yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age  8  
   
4.  WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? 

Both don't want any more kids.  
- Lori,  age 8  
 
5.  WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
 
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. 
- Lynnette, age 8    (isn't  she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (typical guy) 
 
6.  WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 
 
When they're rich. 
- Pam, age 7 (typical gal)

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- Curt, age   7
 
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.  
- Howard,  age 8  
 
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? 
 
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9   (bless you child)  
 
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?  
 
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8  

And the #1 Favorite is ........  
                          
9.  HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?   

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
- Ricky, age  10
 


The Dog Reward

Thanks to Joanne J.

The Dog Reward


Prize-Winning Wildlife Images

Thanks to Spike

Prize-Winning Wildlife Images.odp


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Life is good for these African Animals in this lush river basin and as a result many of them have become “slobs and easy riders”. They give new meaning to the term Fat, Dumb, and Happy. These wild animals sure know how to have a good time when Happy Hour comes each day.

Happy Hour In Africa


Friendship

Thanks to Colin H
Friendship 1

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are really weak and most susceptible?

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:

friendship 2
I love you, sorry and help me?

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?

Did you know that those who dress in black are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned twofold?

Friendship 3

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?

Friendship 5
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?

Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.


Friendship 4

But don't believe everything I tell you; try it for yourself. If you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, help them, and you'll see that it will be returned twofold.

friendship 6

Today, the ball of FRIENDSHIP is in your court, send this to those who truly are your friends. Also, do not feel bad if no one sends this back to you; in the end, you'll find out that you'll get to keep the ball for other people who need it more.


Watch This Youngster

Thanks to David M.

Watch This Youngster


Children in Church

Thanks toTully

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"  One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''
===========

3-year-old Reese:

"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.

Amen."
===========
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
===========
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you."
===========
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo.  I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from E-mail.
===========
One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
===========
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
===========
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?

They're hushers."
===========
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.  The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.  Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
===========
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
===========
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

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