Sunday Family Humour 7th August Page 2

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1st grader answers

Thanks to Paula M.

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her Clarkston, MI class. She presented each child in her class the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are just 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic... although sad to see it said!

1. Don't change horses........................... until they stop.
2. Strike while the.................................. bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before................... Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of..... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but....... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that..................... looks dirty.
7. No news is.......................................... impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a......................... Mister.
9. You can't teach an old dog new.......... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll........ stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust.................................... me.
12. The pen is mightier than the............. pigs.
13. An idle mind is.................................. the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's............ pollution.
15. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is............................... not much.
17. Two's company, three's..................... the Musketeers
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what....... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as................ Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not....... spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed............... get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you.. see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind...... get out of the way.

And the WINNER is... the last one...

25. Better late than................................ pregnant.


Simply Amazing New Technology

Thanks to Spike

Simply Amazing New Technology



Nong Nooch Resort, Thailand

Thanks to Paula M.

Nong Nooch Tropische tuin .pps



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7 of the World’s Most Beautiful and Threatened Beaches

Thanks to David M.

: our pollution and exploitation of all the ocean has to offer has put the world’s most beautiful beaches in jeopardy. In 100 years, a beachside vacation may be only read about in books.   Some of the world’s most beautiful and threatened beaches:

1. Rhossili, Wales

 

beach 1

Rhossili, a world-famous five-mile sweeping bay located on the tip of the Gower peninsula in southwest Wales, is in danger because of erosion caused by climate change.

2. Goa, India

 

beach 2

“People around the world picture Goa as the ultimate beach destination and what adds to the charm is the lush green environs of the state. locals and conservationists fear that iron ore mining companies in India are spoiling the natural beauty of the region, and threatening the lives of many wild animals stricken out of their forest homes,” 

3. Railay, Thailand

 

beach 3

“I genuinely fear for Railay,” writes a travel blogger. ”I’m afraid that it will become the next Koh Phi Phi, the entire island smelling like sewage because the infrastructure can’t handle the number of visitors.”

4. Koh Rong Island, Cambodia

 

beach 4

“Koh Rong Island is an inexpensive, unspoiled island getaway with turquoise-green waters, miles of powder-white beaches, endless palm trees, untouched fishing villages and only a handful of beachfront bungalows,” reports BBC Travel. But don’t wait too long if you want to see it that way. “In 2006, Kithr Meng, a Cambodian tycoon, purchased a 99-year lease on the island from the Cambodian government. His 20-year plan includes building an airport for small aircrafts, a marina, a golf course, casinos and several five-star resorts.”

5. Seychelles, Indian Ocean

 

beach 5

In the past decade, the rising sea level has taken a bite out of this spectacular strip of shore in the Indian Ocean northeast of Madagascar. “Rising temperatures and the melting of polar ice caps are blamed for raising ocean levels and threatening to destroy the nation’s pristine coastline – the country’s No 1 tourist attraction. Some of the archipelago’s low-lying islands could be fully submerged if the rise continues,” reported the National.

6. Magdalen Islands, Quebec

beach 6
 

The approximately 13,000 residents of Magdalen Islands have watched intensifying natural forces threaten the boundaries of their home in recent years. “Warmer winters and fiercer storms, rising seawaters and the slow sinking of the islands are responsible for an alarming loss of coastline, and the erosion appears to be accelerating,” reports Canadian Geographic.

7. Miami Beach, Florida

 

beach 7

In May 2014, a new scientific report on global warming — the National Climate Assessment – named Miami as one of the cities most vulnerable to severe damage as a result of rising sea levels.

http://www.care2.com/causes/7-of-the-worlds-most-beautiful-and-threatened-beaches.html

 

6 Minute Management Course

Thanks to Carol P
Lesson 1: 

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. 

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. 

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' 

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. 

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. 

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' 


Moral of the story:


If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:
 

A priest offered a Nun a lift.. 

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. 

The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' 

The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. 

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' 

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' 

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
 
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' 

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:
 

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. 

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
 

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' 

Puff! She's gone. 

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' 

Puff! He's gone. 

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' 


Moral of the story:
 
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
 

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. 

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' 

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. 


Moral of the story:
 
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
 

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' 

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. 

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. 

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
 

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. 


Moral of the story:

Bull S__t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..


Lesson 6
 

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. 

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! 

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.  A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. 


Morals of the story:
 
(1) Not everyone who dumps on you is your enemy. 

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of doo doo is your friend.
 

(3) And when you're in deep doo doo, it's best to keep your mouth shut!



THUS ENDS THE six MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Garage Door Art Is Becoming Quite Popular

Thanks to Jim R

 
Garage door 1
 
Garage door 2
 
 
Garage door 3
 
Garage door 4
 
Garage door 5
 
 
Garage door 6
 
 
Garage door 7
 
Garage door 8
 
 
Garage door 9
 
Garage door 10
 
 
Garage door 11
 
Garage door 12
 
 
Garage door 13
 
Garage door 14
 
 
Garage door 15
 
Garage door 16
 


Puzzle

 Thanks o Bert

Puzzle   1


Puzzle   2

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