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Sunday Family Humour 19th June Page 2

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Mother Goose Calls 911

Thanks to Carol P.
I have worked for Cincinnati Police Department for over 26 years, but in all that time he's never had an experience that compares to this one.
On Monday, Givens was sitting in his patrol car in a parking lot when he was accosted by one very unexpected visitor who seemed dead set on getting his attention. 
"This goose came up and started pecking on the side of the car," Givens told The Dodo. "I threw some food out for her, but she didn't take it. She just kept pecking and quacking. Then she walked away, stopped and looked back. Then came over again and pecked some more.
When the goose walked away a second time, and again looked back, Givens decided to follow her. And it's a good thing that he did.
"She led me about 100 yards away to this grassy area near a creek. That's when I saw one of her babies all tangled up in some string from a balloon. His little feet were kicking," said Givens. "She led me straight to him."
Though stunned by what just happened, Givens was wary of approaching the trapped gosling, fearing that the goose might attack if he did. So instead he radioed the SPCA, but no wildlife rescuers were immediately available.
Givens' colleague, Officer Cecilia Charron, heard the call and volunteered to help.
"She showed up on her own," he said. "I told her to be careful, but she just walked over and untangled the baby. The mother goose just watched, like she knew. It was amazing."
Once the baby was untangled, Givens and Charron looked on as he rejoined his mom and swam away safely. Not surprisingly, the officers were in disbelief about how it all played out from start to finish.
Charron even started to tear up, telling Givens it was the highlight of her 24 years on the force.
"It seems like something made up. It was just incredible," said Givens. "I honestly don't know why I decided to follow her, but I did. It makes me wonder — do they know to turn to humans when they need help?"
Though we'll never be sure if the desperate mother goose did indeed approach the officer knowing he would help, what is certain is that he did — and that's what made the difference.
"I don't know what it all means," Givens said, "but I hope it might inspire more compassion in other people."

Jungle Trekking by Jeep

Thanks to Paul S

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No-one Will Ever Love You Like Your Mom

Thanks to David M.

No-one Will Ever Love You Like Your Mum.ppt

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Poorly understood laws of physics

Thanks to Ray O'

1 . Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the difficulty of the reach.

10 . Law of the Theater & Sports Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers and the other person is someone you dislike.

13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15.   Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly, have a hole or are out of style.

16. Law of Public Speaking - A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!

Hilarious Beware of the Dog Signs

Thanks to John C. and Baba Mail
Beware of the Dog 1
Beware of the Dog 2.jpg
Beware of the Dog 3
Beware of the Dog 4

Beware of the Dog 5
Beware of the Dog 6

Beware of the Dog 7
Beware of the Dog 8

Beware of the Dog 9
Beware of the Dog 10

Beware of the Dog 11
Beware of the Dog 12

Beware of the Dog 13
Beware of the Dog 14

Beware of the Dog 15
Beware of the Dog 16

Eight Words with two Meanings

Thanks to Ray O'

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. 
Female...... Any part under a car's hood. 
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..... Playing football without a cup. 
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n. 
Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. 
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding. 
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. 
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male..... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. 
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Odds and ...

Thanks to many

Odds and sods 1

Odds and sods 2

Odds and sods 3

Odds and sods 4

Odds and sods 5

Odds and sods 6

Odds and sods 7


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