Sunday Family Humour 10th April Page 2

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The English Plural

Thanks to David H.

according to....

The English Plural 1

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

The English Plural 2

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

The English Plural 3

Then one may be that, and there would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

The English Plural 4

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

The English Plural 5

We take English  for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,

We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,

Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

The English Plural 6

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,

What do you call it?

The English Plural 7

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

The English Plural 8
The English Plural 12

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

The English Plural 9

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

The English Plural 10

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

In which your house can burn up as it burns down,

In which you fill in a form by filling it out,

And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing...........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.??????

The English Plural 11

Compilation Copyright © Wink Creations

Budweiser  Clydesdales

Thanks to Tully
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Budweiser Clydesdales

Posing With Statues

Thanks to Graham H.

Posing with statues 1
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Posing with statues 3
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Posing with statues 5
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Posing with statues 9
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Excitement on African Safari

Thanks to David M.

A  curious Cheetah got up close and personal with a holidaymaker on safari at the Masai Mara game reserve in Kenya, when the animal jumped into the back seat of a jeepThe wild cat, with its razor sharp claws and teeth, sure is one kitty you'd rather not have curling up on your lap. But, nevertheless, the bold animal hopped in much to the shock of an Irishman inside.
Safari 1

After entering the vehicle, it slowly sauntered over to holidaymaker Mickey McCaldin until it was barely a foot away from his face. Family friend David Horsey captured the tense standoff between the pair as it looked like the cheetah was going to make himself comfortable.  
Safari 2

At first, the cheetah simply looked at Mickey curiously, but then it moved closer as if to curl up on his lap!  
Safari 3

Family friend, David Horsey, captured the tense standoff between the pair, including the moment that the animal lept into the safari jeepThe cheeky cheetah and his family casually lounged atop the group's

Toyota Land Cruiser!  
Safari 4
Safari 5

Safari 6

David captured the pictures on June 12, as the group tracked a well-known family of cheetahs, whose mother  is called Malaika. Having followed them for a couple of days previously, they observed that the family hadn't had a kill for several days. David said: 'The family had been looking for a gazelle for a few days with no luck. As we'd been around for a couple of days, I think they were used to the jeep so the mum jumped on top to get a better view. 'I think the other cheetah tried to follow her up but went a different way. 'Once it had got bored of Mickey it turned away and looked out of the vehicle for a few minutes. 'It just jumped out afterwards.'
Safari 7

Photographer David, 62 from Mombasa, Kenya, said: 'I've been living in Kenya all my life and I've never seen anything like this'           
Safari 9

Safari 10

Safari 11

Safari 12

Safari 13

Safari 15

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