Sunday Family Humour 27th December Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour


Forrest Gump Dies and Goes to Heaven

Thanks to Wally


The day finally arrived.  Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.  He is at the Pearly Gates.  However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. 

The gatekeeper said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'   

 Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'    

The gatekeeper continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.     First:   What two days of the week begin, with the letter T?   Second:   How many seconds are there in a year?   Third:   What is God's first name?  

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.

He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'      

Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?     Shucks,    That would be   Today and Tomorrow.'    

The gatekeeper's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?'   'How many seconds in a year?'    

Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'    

Astounded, the gatekeeper said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year ?    

Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:   January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...    

'Hold it, interrupts the gatekeeper. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind... but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.       Can you tell me God's first name'?  

'Sure,' Forrest replied, it's Andy.   '  

'Andy?'   exclaimed the exasperated and frustrated gatekeeper. Ok, I  can understand how you came up with the answers to my earlier questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?     You are going to love this ....         

 'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. I learnt it from the song,          

ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
  ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

    The gate keeper opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run, Forrest, run".

       Lord, Give me a sense of humor, Give me the ability to understand a clean joke, To get some humor out of life. And to pass it on.

Unbelievable feats of strength

Thanks to John B.
Duo Shcherbak Popov performs an incredible act of strength and agility set to the classic song “Singing in the Rain” at the Cirque Phenix, in Paris, France. These guys make a performance like this look so easy but we all know that to be this good they have practiced and worked out for thousands of hours.

Duo Shcherbak Popov performs an incredible act of strength and agility


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The Simple Life

The Simple Life



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Playing The Spoons

Thanks to Ray O'.
I have zero musical ability but I can recognize musical talent when I see it and these guys Playing The Spoons are one of the best musical acts you’ll ever see. They are entirely focused on making sure they hit the right note and stay in sync as they ring a ding dong on stage.

Playing The Spoons

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Hugs
Thanks to Abbi



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Elephants in Zambia

Thanks to Paula S.
The Elephants that came to dinner | Mfuwe Lodge, Zambia

At a five-star lodge in Zambia, a bizarre phenomenon is stumping wildlife experts and delighting tourists. An elephant family, led by a matriarch named Wonky Tusk, is overtaking the lobby. Though elephants can be violent in the wild, here they climb the stairs of Mfuwe Lodge and grace past reception without bumping a chair. Why the paradox? Wildlife cameraman Nathan Pilcher is on a mission to find out. What he discovers may reveal elephants to be far more intelligent than we could've imagined.


Elephants in Zambia

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Dogs Can Sleep Anywhere

Thanks to Spike

 
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