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Julie Clark StopRA@gmail.com

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AskMeanMom

What is Relational Aggression (RA)?

Relational Aggression is a form of bullying that mostly girls engage in. It is a sneaky, covert, manipulative behavior that only gets worse the longer it goes on. Children as young as preschool age can be involved in RA, a 2005 study reported.

RA includes, but is not limited to:

  • Taunting
  • Gossip
  • Slander
  • Excluding
  • Lies
  • Ignoring, giving the "silent treatment"
  • Verbal Insults
  • Spreading rumors

Why is RA so dangerous?

The effects of RA on the victim are many. They may be tense, irritiable, anxious, prone to anxiety attacks. Other effects on the victim can include:

  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • Cutting
  • Depression
  • Eating disorders
  • Drug and alcohol use
  • Falling grades
  • Suicide thoughts or suicide completion

What can parents do?

Parents whose daughter is a victim of RA should do everything in their power to see to it that the schools takes steps to protect their daughter. If the situation is severe or the school doesn't take action in a timely fashion, parents may have to withdraw their daughter for a while. Homeschooling may be the best option until she's recovered from her trauma. If she wants to go to another school, try to get her involved in activities where she can meet children who will be at her new school. Ask a counselor or teacher to pair her up with another student to show her around and introduce her to others.

If your daughter is engaging in RA, she needs to be made aware that what she is doing can harm a person for life. In fact, it can cause a girl to take her own life. RA is no laughinig matter. Parents should work with their daughter to help her to see the seriousness and to work toward getting her to stop. If you find that you don't know what to do, a good counselor can help.

What can schools do?

In addition to making the entire staff aware of RA, the student body should also be taught about RA...the language of RA, what it is, and the consequences for engaging in RA. The consequences should be sufficient to impel students to no longer engage in RA. Bystanders should report what they see, and report if they are told to hurt someone or spread rumors about someone. This is not tattling...tattling is trying to get attention or get someone in trouble. Telling is reporting what is happening to oneself or others.

There is much more in my Guide. More on what the schools can do, the parents, victims, staff and students can do. There is information on kindness activities, and much more included in the 27 page Guide and 6 hand outs. Just $15

Purchase Relational Aggression: What it is, And What Parents, Schools, and Other Organizations can do about it.  PURCHASE THE GUIDE

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About 160,000 students miss school each day due to a fear of being bullied.