Chuck Norris Facts:


Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick MacGyvers head through a wall and take it.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get