My blog name is Nael and I am a recovering alcoholic/addict, employee, wife, homeowner, and mother in that order. My abuse of alcohol started when I was 12 and led to abuse of many substances. About 6 (almost) 7 years ago, I thought I had lost the will to live and resigned myself to living in the misery I had created until I got the nerve to inject enough drugs to kill myself. I was rescued by the Detroit Police Department (or God working through them) as they dragged me from the abandoned van I called home that was parked in a pickle factory parking lot in southwest Detroit. I was filthy, emaciated, and very, very sick. I was relieved that someone had stepped in to stop me and, as I sat in jail, I realized I really wanted to live. I did not care if the best I could ever do for myself was a crappy apartment being employed as a fry cook at McDonald’s. I wanted to live free of warrants, police, drugs, and men (one of my other problems). After a few failed attempts at self-willed sobriety, I checked myself into treatment and stayed for 15 months. I learned slow and was stubborn, but I was honest and worked on doing what I needed to do to stay sober. I became very active in AA and I am active to this day. God gave me a crappy apartment and fry cook job, and then he gave me 10 fold more than that. I have a beautiful life today and, despite my sarcasm which I am working on, a positive and grateful attitude.
I started this blog for a few reasons 1) to throw a few pennies in Manther’s college fund 2) to work through my current struggles 3) to share my experience, strength, and hope. My current struggle is adjusting to the suburbs. My husband and I moved here to purchase a home and raise a family and I frequently feel very out of place surrounded by the suburban moms. I want to be ‘a part of’ in my new community because I feel that spirituality is based in being connected to the group. Also, I don’t want my daughter, Manther, to be the one with the weird mom. It might be too late for that, but it’s a goal worth working towards. So, I am watching the other moms, my new colleagues in life, and trying to relate to their struggles and joys. Somewhere buried in all this, I am sure there is a growth experience for me.
Sobriety Date 9/15/2000
link to return to blog http://dooropens.blogspot.com/