trolls of san francisco

What have you got against turnips?

Setting the records straight: all the facts about the San Francisco trolls
 

By Scruff Tiddlywinks of THRASHED
Troll History Rectification Association of Sensitive Hill-dwellers Enabling Democracy

Etymology: From a mispronunciation of Troglodyte, defined on dictionary.com as 

1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller.
2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.

Misuses and misunderstandings: 1. Troll as a verb. Troll is NOT a verb! First used in 1377 to mean "to stroll" by someone too lazy to pronounce a simple 's', and later becoming the demeaning "cruising in search of sexual encounters". Unacceptable.Trolls are perfectly capable of arriving at sexual encounters without having to cruise for them, thank you very much. 2. Troll as noun: "ugly dwarf or giant". Giant? Whip MacMullen, troll basketball great was barely four and a half feet. And "ugly"? Your grandmother is ugly. Yeah, you heard me.

Press: We don't get a lot of it and when we do we don't like it. Gratuitous lies about trance music and nasty allegations about the Tremblings are uncalled for and also none of your business. Stay above ground, dirty beet paparazzi. That means you, Richard Miller. The latest smear attempt by renegade podcast "historians" has not gone unnoticed. The evil media conglomerate fiend Sparkletack will be punished by many hurled beets.

Trolls like: rutabagas, privacy, all-night trance parties, Theodora Whippersnapper, acronyms

Trolls dislike: bulldozers, condos, russian music, podcasting, pseudonyms, squat and pasty computer geeks who stole our rightful name and our look, people who believe in fairies.

Support Trolls! Leave them alone!


This page sponsored by TADDLES
Troglodyte Anti- Dastardly Defamation League of East Sutro