one year


I've previously written my feelings for winter here. 

I realize now that winter also leaves me a little nostalgic. Being on the brink of a new year, winter is definitely a time of reflection for me. And I've come to realize that my life changes drastically from year to year. This time last year, I never thought I would be in the place that I am. Nothing in my life has been predictable lately. The person I spent last holiday season with, I had always planned to spend this holiday with as well. And the next. And the next. Now he's nothing more than typed words on a page, or an old t-shirt tucked in the bottom of my dresser drawer.

My friend's are different too. I recycle friends faster that I do plastic bottles. Not because I want to. Maybe it's just me. I have a hard time making female friends. And the ones I do make are usually attached in some way to the man I'm dating. Maybe that's why they come in waves. There is still the faithful handful that have been with me throughout the years, but even those are growing sparce.

I don't really like to make new year's resolutions, but I do like to make goals for myself. One, I'm going to make more friends. I think I need to smile at people more. I always have people tell me that I look sad. When I bartended, one guy in the neighborhood actually told me that people around there who don't know my name refer to me as the sad-looking girl behind the bar. So yes, smiling more. Maybe I'll be more approachable.
So yeah, that's all for now. From you sad girl behind the bar.