Snarkalecs




The SnarkAlecs are a Band of Twitter Misfits that promote snarking B level Sci-Fi (SyFy) movies in an effort to bring about  world peace and fight global warming.





Rules of and for watching Science Fiction Movies
By Melissa @karmic9 & Tony @Tonysolo


If you remember this simple rule you might save yourself from an emergency room visit, a nervous breakdown or worse...
.
Suspend your disbelief

Every story, every movie is built on a premise that is somewhat believable and almost possible. Once you accept the shaky foundation, the rest of the construct should not surprise you. We expect the windows to be drafty and the roof to leak. The rat infested basement is par for the course. Here is an example: (5 points if you guess the movie)


Its a warm, beautiful, early July day. Across the nation people are planning a holiday celebration. (Pretty darn good premise I’d say)
Holy Shit the aliens are attacking every major city across the globe! (getting shaky) What do we do? Hey lets attack the Mother ship with a computer virus and then blow it up! Don't forget the cigars! Mission accomplished, light em up boys!

Go with the flow here people, you have to be willing to accept that some (or none) of the story elements and plot points are never ever (getting back together?) going to happen. Remember known scientific principles hardly ever apply. When in doubt, beer or stronger adult beverages can help relieve stress and act as a memory eraser, when consumed in proper doses.
    
If you read and accept the first rule above, there is no need to go any further. Some of you need a little more preparation. Here is a short list of things I have learned by watching Sci-Fi movies.

  1. Explosions will occur in the vacuum of space (Everyone loves a big bada boom)
  2. The force of Gravity will or will not apply as we see fit.
  3. Travel across the galaxy is quicker and more reliable than driving across town
  4. Extraterrestrial Beings have 2 arms, 2 legs and giant heads with oval eyes
  5. We can control the weather
  6. Computer AIs, Bots and Droids are helpful and great to have around R2D2,C3PO and Twiki
  7. Computer AIs, Bots and Droids will kill you HAL and Prometheus
  8. Time travel never makes sense so don't do it
  9. Corporations are ALWAYS Evil
  10. There is no spoon
  11. The size of the creature will vary as needed
  12. Never be the first person injured in any movie (@TScottBrave)
  13. Female Scientist and/or those working for the government must always wear eyeglasses to show they are really, really smart. (@GGFletcher)



What We've Learned from SyFy Movies
Various 


  1. Not everything needs to go into the REPORT (Dragon Wasps)
  2. Urinating on a tombstone will unleash all kinds of hell & deadly weather. (Ghost Storm, @GGfletcher)
  3. Beauty queens who try to fight off a land shark with an umbrella will lose & be eaten. (Super Shark, @GGfletcher)
  4. It doesn't matter if you're an Olympic Gold Medalist, you're gonna die anyway & in a very bad way (Tasmanian Devils, @midgeygirl)
  5. White tank tops are always in style (@TScottBrave)
  6. You might be safe in a red shirt on the Enterprise but once you go on an away mission DON'T WEAR THE RED ONE or YOU'RE DEAD. (@laura_naorman9)







Links of Interest (we said optimistically)....



Snarkalecology 101

Frequently asked questions...

What is the "OHNASTIC" aka "Ohno Death Scale"?

A Scale used to determine the "excellence" of a death in a SyFy Original movie, with Apolo Ohnos death in Tasmanian Devils as the perfect 10. (Perfect score has been changed to 5).  Please see OHNO and Fatone-Cooper Scale for more information.

Why is @LisaMarieBowman Lichen the SnarkAlecs?

We dont know, but "Lichen" is one of her signature puns and we like to use it before she can. 



What is Whanoggy?

Whanoggy was a summoning call used by Jael De Pardo in the SyFy show Haunted Highway, to attract the elusive Skin Walkers.  Jael De Pardo has also been on Fact or Faked and Destination Truth.

It has become synonymous with an attractive young lady. We're sure the Lady SnarkAlecs will come up with their own version of #Whanoggy sooner or later

 

Why do we want to get Gerald Webb verified?

Gerald Webb is one of the hardest working people in show business. He has production, casting and acting credits in many different projects, among them:

 Hold Your Breath, Battle of Los Angeles, 2-Headed Shark Attack, and  Zombie Apocalypse

Gerald Webb is a SnarkAlec and he always finds time to goof around with his fans on Twitter.  He is a great sport and all around nice guy.

 Here is a Link to Gerald’s IMDB page to find out more about him: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2230938/


Why are we obsessed with Jaws?

Jaws is probably one of, if not the favorite movie of many of the SnarkAlecs. Jaws quotes can be modified to fit almost any movie any time and are usually funny and clever.

Silence of the Lambs is another movie that is referenced often.

 

What is this "snowglobe" we keep mentioning?

In the SyFy original movie Snowmaggedon, the evil Snowglobe brings disaster to a small Alaskan town at Christmas time.

Snowmaggedon held the title of the Worst Movie Ever watched by the Snarkalecs until SyFy aired Dead Season 12/15/12.

Snowmaggedon still holds the title of Worst SyFy Original Movie ever. There may be others that are worse but that was B.S. (Before SnarkAlecs).


What is this report we keep mentioning?

“Lets keep that out of the report” was a quote that was repeated several times in the movie Dragon Wasps by Corin Nemecs' character, John Hammond.

Several of the SnarkAlecs picked up and ran with it. A report tweet or two has made it into every Saturday night SnarkAlec session since.

 

Why do you mention Joey Fatone in your tweets? 

Joey Fatone or Fat One of ‘N Sync made one of the funniest cameo appearances ever in Jersey ShoreShark Attack and was promptly devoured by a shark.

Alice Cooper and Mickey Dolenz have also suffered the same fate in various SyFy movies.

Who is BoBo?

James Fay, or Bobo is an investigator on the show Finding Bigfoot. Every SnarkAlec will tell you that we’ve found @Bigfoot__ and he is one of us.