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 Jacked Up -- Class of 2007
The Largest Rasterbation Ever


  There once was a girl named Shaniqua. She needed a lot of love, so we gave her a lot of love. We came up with something around 20 ideas of how to be able to tell the Admin they were JTFU'd. We voted. Only one person of everyone that voted didn't vote for this project.

The Genesis -- Theory Stages
  Two of the Logistics Coordinators, one small brown kid and one taller white kid were on the phone. The latter had thought it would be a two-minute conversation, and had called on his cell. An hour and a half later, we had decided to leave a 30` by 40` rasterbation on the front of the school. We posted the idea on Bluenet, and the grade voted.

Creating the Image
  We knew the image we wanted to use. It was our class picture from Camp Coochiching, taken in the fall of that year. It had every member of the grade, and no one else. It also had a 3:4, perfect to enlarge onto two 30` by 20` tarps. Image below:



  But that was just boring, so some Photoshop was required. We cut it into layers (people and background), then had some fun with levels and fonts. The result was as follows:



Laying Out

  Now, to rasterbate. We didn't want to print it ourselves, because we knew it would probably just jam the printers, and that would be a hassle. Collecting ~100$ to get it printed and the margins cut at Kinkos was far easier. So, where did this leave us? With 1462 sheets of Legal-size (8.5 by 14) paper. Using another freeware program, we added page numbers in grey to the .pdf so we didn't mess up. We first used lines of duct-tape to tape a row of paper (34 landscape sheets) then stapled the paper on as well, a la c'est:



  Then, we got a 28` by 20` tarp and two 20` by 24` tarps. The latter we overlayed to make up the 28` we actually ended up using. We covered the tarp in duct tape again, and added some masking tape in between.



  Next, we picked up one row at a time, and had 13-15 people walk it down, all supporting a part of the row. One person (at the beginning, more, but we got a handle on it, and a leadership structure emerged) at the front talked, and gave instructions to make sure everyone was in step, and that the row both went forward and down at the same time. We lined it up based on the image, and hoped it would line up with the rest of the picture. Sometimes it did, sometimes not so much, but it was efficient, and extremely effective. Pictures:





  After repeating this, many, many times over the course of the night (we began working with the paper at around 3:00 pm, and were only finished about 3:00 or 4:00 am.) We finally got it done. 



  The next task was to hoist the finished product. We attached ropes, folded it, and took it out the doors and onto Bloor St W. Thankfully the sidewalks were wide so we didn't have to block traffic. We started by trying to hoist it from the third floor of the school.



  We succeeded, but our celebrations were premature. As you can tell from the next picture, the tarp was blocking the front entrance. Because we are ridiculously good students, we realized this was a fire hazard, and that that would not do. We could not lift it higher because it would make the tarp not lie flat by virtue of how we tied the ropes. This is much more clear in picture form:



  We debated various solutions, but only one seemed like it would work. We hung it from the roof, because we're just that cool. We used guy wires from the lower grommets to hold it from flapping in the wind, bound, of course, with duct tape.


  But alas, all good things must come to an end, and because we were all running on no sleep by 7:00 when this was going up, no one remembered to but foam or cardboard or
something underneath the rope so that it wasn't worn away by contact on the rock. The end was here.



   No one running it had done a rasterbation before, so this was the first time for everyone involved. And what a first time... JTFU.

                     -- The Class of 2007, Signing Off  
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