women are insulted if men always insist on paying. It may make them
feel as if they are being bought or patronized, as if they can't afford
to pay their own way.
you should always pay...
On first datesFirst
impressions are important -- on most first dates, your best bet is to
make the first move when the bill comes, and if she shows no sign of
resistance, go for it. This goes not just for the very first date, but
throughout the early stages of the relationship. Paying for things is
not just the gentlemanly thing to do, it also indicates that you are
responsible, steady and well-established. Women like that; it helps them
decide whether or not you are relationship-ready.
If you asked her outA
good general rule when it comes to these situations is to ask yourself,
"Who asked who?" If you instigated the date, then you will be expected
to pay. In fact, it's good to be prepared to pay, regardless. Nothing
looks more pathetic than a guy's sheepish expression when he doesn't
have enough money with him to cover the charges; and in today's world of
credit and debit cards, this shouldn't be an issue.
On special occasionsFor
special events, such as your anniversary, her birthday, holiday dinners
or even just to spontaneously celebrate her achievements -- like being
hired for a new job or getting into law school, for example -- you
should offer to pay. First of all, it makes you appear gracious and
classy. Second, it's a great way to show her how proud you are of her.
Just remember that the key is in the delivery; don't make a big show of
your largesse by letting her know how much a meal cost. What a tacky
move! Simply smile and say, "This one's on me, honey."