Small Rooms: Seeded Air 

by N.M.Rai


Where to buy the book

The book can be purchased at:

Support independent publishing: buy this book on Lulu.

Soon to be available at Amazon

 About the Book

Poems of love, pain, hope, and recovery written from the landscape of an illness within a marriage. The poems follow the experiences of both patient and caregiver from the day of an unexpected and frightening quadruple bypass to recovery.

Both caregivers and patients will see their experiences mirrored in these poems.  Medical professionals will get an intimate glimpse of what it feels like to be the patient or the family member.  Friends and family who are not living the day-to-day experience can use these insights to share more fully in their loved one's path.

Here are two sample poems and more poems can be found on this page.


I walk into the animal heat
of closed rooms.
A cacophony of scents
moves among the machines
the aridity of bleach, the blanched air,
the surprise of jasmine as an aide
bends to adjust the pillows.
Wilted broccoli steams on the lunch tray.
There are swells to this current,
this way of naming and knowing,
a place, a person, a thing.



You are becoming yourself again,
pulling on your quirks and habits
like an old shirt.
You scratch at the limitations.
I stand back and watch you
slip into the day
the way fog curls around trees.



N.M. Rai's poems are seeds of love in the air.  Not a love of hearts and flowers but a love that waits by the side of a loved one as death threatens to take its inevitable due.

These poems are about compassion, but not only the care of a care-giver, but the inner landscape of the one who must stand and watch illness ravish and consume; one who watches and records every emotional wave as slowly, recovery washes over both the cared-for and the care-giver.

Seeds in the air but these seeds have come from a deep love and fall to the earth to grow beautiful poems for all to see.  Quite simply, N.M. Rai has planted her experiences of tragedy and recovery for all to see through a great poet’s eyes. 
Eric Ashford (poet)

 More Poems 

A few more poems


Some of the paintings done during and about the illness.


  ...these ring very true - Lila (home health aide)

I had no way to know what it felt like on the other side -  this will be a help for me in caring for other patients - Brenda (nurse)

My huband had his bypass just a short while ago, and these poems give me hope that all will be well again - Dot

Yup. Just getting over mine. Sounds familiar - Chuck

Hey, it's neat being the subject of a book.  Am feeling fine now.  It was dicey for awhile - (the former patient)