Plays by Scott Haan

Click on the links or logos for more show details, script samples, lists of past productions, and order information through the publisher.

*** FULL-LENGTH PLAYS ***


INSANE WITH POWER (a.k.a. SUPER FREAKS)
Genre: Full-length comedy (approximately 100 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 6 (3M, 3W)
World Premiere (“Insane With Power”): Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), October 2007
World Premiere (“Super Freaks”): St. Francis Catholic High School (Gainesville, FL), November 2008
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals
     Click here for more information about “Insane With Power” (for community theatres)
     Click here for more information about “Super Freaks” (for schools)

Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing a story about the current state of modern mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. At first Lois finds their elaborate superhero fantasies to be an entertaining diversion, the wild delusions of unstable minds, until something unusual happens that makes her wonder... (This script is available in two versions – “Insane With Power” is intended for community theatres, and “Super Freaks” is intended for schools. A condensed one-act version entitled “Superhero Sanitarium” is also available below.)

MIND OVER MATT (full-length)
Genre: Full-length comedy (approximately 90 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 11 (6M, 5W); some genders flexible; could be performed by 10-16 actors, with doubling
World Premiere: Red Barn Summer Theatre (Frankfort, IN), June 2008
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

Ever argue with yourself? Ever said, “I don’t know what got into me?” This is the story of Matthew Lane. Matt is a successful illustrator with a couple of deadlines and several squabbling inner personalities who do weird and wonderful things. As Matt tries to gather up enough nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams, Matt’s egos, who all have their own hang-ups, lead him in one too many directions. When Matt’s overworked boss comes to believe that Matt has a crush on her, the conflicted egos manage to make a bad situation much, much worse. (This script is available in both full-length and one-act versions. A sequel named “Penny For Your Thoughts” is also available, although both plays stand on their own.)

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS (full-length)
Genre: Full-length comedy (approximately 90 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 10 (3M, 7W); could be performed by 9-15 actors, with the optional extended ending
World Premiere: Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), February 2015
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Penny Ramsey is a wonderful young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality, each one personified by a different Ego. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s boss) Mrs. Killian. Maybe things could get straightened out if the people in Penny’s head could just get along, for once! (This script is available in both full-length and one-act versions. A prequel called “Mind Over Matt” is also available, although both plays stand on their own.)

WAGE WARFARE
Genre: Full-length comedy (approximately 110 minutes)
Recommended for: Community theatres
Cast size: 7 (3M, 4W)
World Premiere: Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), October 2011
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

If you've ever had a job, or wished you hadn't, this office comedy is for you. Even on a good day, tensions run high in the customer service department of the Treasure Box because of two female co-workers who can't stand each other, and a third who is constantly stuck in the middle. But when a chance for promotion suddenly appears, all three women find themselves fighting for the job, although they don't all fight fair. Will the promotion go to daydreamer Hope, saintly Bonnie, or snarky Louise? A madhouse free-for-all of schemes, sabotage and unlikely alliances erupts, unseen by their idiotic boss. This story is a ridiculous farce...but then, so are a lot of offices!

GREAT MOMENTS IN INDIANA HISTORY
Genre: Educational comedy (full-length version about 90 minutes, one-act version about 50 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size (full-length version): 21 (7M, 8W, 6 flexible); some genders flexible and some doubling possible
Cast size (one-act version): 18 (6M, 8W, 4 flexible); some genders flexible and some doubling possible
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette’s Summer Theatre Institute (Lafayette, IN), June 2016
Availability: Available directly from the author (scotthaan@hotmail.com)

Journey through 200 years of Indiana history and witness some great, and a few not-so-great, events that shaped not only the Hoosier state, but the entire world. Learn about pivotal moments in the worlds of politics, crime, sports, and entertainment, and meet the people--some famous, some ordinary--who made history there. Encounter a young Abraham Lincoln, attend the first Indy 500, visit academia with Amelia Earhart, and much more. Guaranteed to contain at least 92% factual information, 3% unfounded rumor, 14% nonsensical silliness designed to tickle the funny bone, and 2% blatant math errors.
(Available in both full-length and one-act formats.)

*** SHORT PLAYS ***

ANNIE PLAY WILL DO
Genre: Short comedy in two acts (approximately 65 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools
Cast size: 17 (7M, 8W, 2 flexible); some genders flexible
World Premiere: Niobrara County High School (Lusk, WY), October 2011
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Because of a miscommunication with the Principal, High School Drama Teacher Mr. Morris finds himself with only ONE DAY to cast, stage and perform the school play. In desperation, he turns to two of his best students, Paul and Laura, to take charge and co-direct the show, unaware that the two are in the middle of a nasty break-up and are no longer speaking. Things go from bad to much, much worse when Paul and Laura, practicing with their friends independently, don't realize they are rehearsing for TWO DIFFERENT SHOWS, and the problem isn't discovered until the curtain opens. It's a theatre nightmare brought hilariously to life!

ATTACK OF THE CLOWN DENTIST ZOMBIES
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 40 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theaters
Cast size: 22 (2M, 4W, 16 flexible); some genders flexible; could be performed by 13-50 actors, with doubling or extras
World Premiere: York Comprehensive High School (York, SC), October 2015
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Susan and Xander patiently sit through their dad’s meeting, a gathering of local dentists, where it is decided that the best way to keep patients from being scared of regular checkups is for the dentists to dress as clowns while working. Refreshments are offered, but deciding to not eat Bernice Hoffenbridle’s cookies might be the best decision the kids have ever made, especially when they hear that her new bakery is conveniently located right between the nuclear waste treatment plant and the experimental chemistry lab. But the adult dentists do indulge in the tainted cookies, unwittingly launching a full-scale epidemic...It's the clown dentist zombie apocalypse! The jokes and the silliness fly fast and furious in the craziest apocalypse you'll ever survive.

HEX MARKS THE SPOT
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 50 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools
Cast size: 13 (4M, 4W, 5 flexible); some genders flexible; one optional role; could be performed by 13-14 actors
World Premiere: Lyles Middle School (Garland, TX), November 2010
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Jean Emery is a normal high school girl whose world gets turned upside-down when she receives a surprising letter in the mail from her eccentric aunt. The letter claims that Jean has magical powers, and the ability to grant wishes. Jean dismisses it as a joke, but unfortunately, her rival gets possession of the letter and plans to use it to blackmail her. Neither one believes for a moment that the crazy story in the letter could possibly be true, or what kind of disasters could happen if everybody were to suddenly get exactly what they wished for.

HIGH SCHOOL HINDSIGHT
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 45 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools
Cast size: 16 (6M, 4W, 6 flexible); some genders flexible; could be performed by 8-30 actors, with doubling or extras
World Premiere: Talisman Youth Theatre (Warwickshire, United Kingdom), March 2014
Published by: Lazy Bee Scripts; click here for more information, and to read the entire script online for free!

Bobby Summers is a shy high school student who gets picked on by bullies, and cannot get up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams. Then one day, he gets a visit from the last person he expected to see…his adult self, visiting from 20 years in the future. Older Robert just wants to help young Bobby cope with the pressures of high school life and put it all in perspective. But do teenagers ever take the advice of adults, even if the adult in question is them?

The LAME NAME CLUB
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 45 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 8 (3M, 4W, 1 flexible)
World Premiere: Eveleth-Gilbert Junior High School (Gilbert, MN), April 2013
Published by: Brooklyn Publishers; click here for more information

(Former title: “The Name of Shame Club”)
We all have our favorite stories about people who have been saddled with bizarre and embarrassing names. Well now, there's help. Witness the origins of a support group for people like Les Plack, Carrie Oakey, and Paige Turner. (And all of the ridiculous names in the story are real names taken from past U.S. Census records.) The only thing these people have in common is that they are all ashamed of their names...or is it?

MIND OVER MATT (one-act)
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 50 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 8 (5M, 3W)
World Premiere (original full-length version): Red Barn Summer Theatre (Frankfort, IN), June 2008
World Premiere (one-act version): Tabiona High School (Tabiona, UT), March 2012
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

Ever argue with yourself? Ever said, “I don’t know what got into me?” This is the story of Matthew Lane. Matt is a successful illustrator with a couple of deadlines and several squabbling inner personalities who do weird and wonderful things. As Matt tries to gather up enough nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams, Matt’s egos, who all have their own hang-ups, lead him in one too many directions. When Matt’s overworked boss comes to believe that Matt has a crush on her, the conflicted egos manage to make a bad situation much, much worse. (This script is available in both full-length and one-act versions. A sequel named “Penny For Your Thoughts” is also available, although both plays stand on their own.)

MONSTER RECORDS
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 45 minutes)
Recommended for: Community theatres
Cast size: 9 (3M, 2W, 4 flexible); some doubling or extras possible
Published by: JAC Publishing & Promotions; click here for more information
Also available: Click here to download the script from Amazon for the Kindle Reader

It's Amanda's last day as an employee at the campus music store Monster Records. She'll miss Steve, her father-figure manager, and the employee discount, but that's about it. She definitely won't miss Lewis, the snobbish, arrogant employee who isn't allowed to talk directly to customers. Now all Amanda has to do to put the store behind her is survive the suspicious-looking criminal who just came through the door looking to sell stolen property. Maybe she can begin the next phase of her life, if she can manage not to get shot.

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS (one-act)
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 55 minutes, but could be shortened with indicated edits)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 10 (3M, 7W); could be performed by 9-15 actors, with the optional extended ending
World Premiere (original full-length version): Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), February 2015
World Premiere (one-act version): Tabiona High School (Tabiona, UT), April 2017
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Penny Ramsey is a wonderful young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality, each one personified by a different Ego. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s boss) Mrs. Killian. Maybe things could get straightened out if the people in Penny’s head could just get along, for once! (This script is available in both full-length and one-act versions. A prequel called “Mind Over Matt” is also available, although both plays stand on their own.)

The SCHOOL SPIRIT
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 40 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools
Cast size: 11 (2M, 9W); some genders flexible, some doubling or extras possible
World Premiere: Strasburg High School (Strasburg, VA), October 2013
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Faith and Ivy are best friends for life…and beyond. On the surface, they don’t have much in common. One is respectful, the other sarcastic. One is studious, the other a troublemaker. One is a friendly actress, the other a reclusive poet. And oh yeah, one is alive, the other, not so much. Ivy has been dead for weeks, and only Faith can still see or hear her. How can a ghost help to achieve Faith’s goal of landing the lead in the school play? And for that matter, why is Ivy still hanging around, anyway?

SPEED DATING NIGHTMARE
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 45 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 13 (6M, 1W, 6 flexible); some genders flexible, some doubling or extras possible
World Premiere: Anderson County High School (Garnett, KS), January 2013
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Speed dating is a great way for singles to meet other people; each "date" only lasts a few minutes, and if it doesn't work out, you can hope the next one will be better. For Cindy, those few minutes feel like an eternity, as she is subjected to a seemingly endless parade of jerks and losers. To make matters worse, she can't help but imagine what their children would be like, and they all display the worst qualities of their fathers. Will she find a good match, or resign herself to staying single forever?

The STORYBOOK REUNION MURDERS
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 60 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools, community theatres and youth theatres
Cast size: 14 (5M, 3W, 6 flexible)
World Premiere: Clinton County Youth Theatre (Frankfort, IN), March 2010
Published by: Pioneer Drama Service; click here for more information

The alumni of Aesop Academy, a prestigious school for nursery rhyme characters, is having a long overdue reunion. Unfortunately, so are the alumni of Grimm High, their bitter cross-town rivals…and both gatherings have been scheduled for the exact same time and place! But things go from bad to worse when members on both sides are mysteriously murdered, and everyone is a suspect. The two warring schools must learn to get along to solve the mystery…or suffer the same fate.

SUPERHERO SANITARIUM
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 45 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 6 (3M, 3W)
World Premiere (original version): Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), October 2007
World Premiere (one-act version): Clinton County Civic Theatre at the ICTL Festival (Muncie, IN), March 2009
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing a story about the current state of modern mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. At first Lois finds their elaborate superhero fantasies to be an entertaining diversion, the wild delusions of unstable minds, until something unusual happens that makes her wonder... (This script is also available in two full-length versions above – “Insane With Power” is intended for community theatres, and “Super Freaks” is intended for schools.)

A VERY BAD DAY FOR BRANDON BUTTERWORTH
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 45 minutes)
Recommended for: Community theatres
Cast size: 6 (3M, 3W)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), April 2008
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Brandon Butterworth has apparently been playing the field. On one fateful night, his multiple girlfriends (grouchy Lucy, ditzy Rebecca, and shy Constance) accidentally discover each other. The three ladies realize their boyfriends, all named Brandon, are actually the same guy. Instead of fighting and bickering amongst themselves, they hatch a plan for revenge, teaming up to teach the three-timer a lesson. Brandon is about to have a very bad day, indeed!

WHERE SHOULD WE EAT? (AND OTHER LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS)
Genre: Short comedy (approximately 40 minutes)
Recommended for: Schools and community theaters
Cast size: 8 (2M, 4W, 2 flexible); some genders flexible; some doubling or extras possible
Published by: Eldridge Plays and Musicals; click here for more information

Every day, we make a thousand choices that might not seem important at the time, but who knows which one has the potential to change the course of our entire life? Three high school friends, Summer, Victoria and Ariel, are simply choosing a place to eat that night, but where they end up might set their futures on very different paths. Explore four possible scenarios springing from the same mundane decision in this comedy/drama about friendship, destiny, and the surprises life has to offer.

*** TEN-MINUTE PLAYS ***

BE RIGHT BACK
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (1M, 1W)
World Premieres: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2014; The Puzzle: Marble’s Theatre Festival (New York City, NY), June 2014
Published by: Brooklyn Publishers; click here for more information

Jeff needs to run what should be a quick errand, but Emma continually stalls his departure with a barrage of inane questions. She seems bound and determined to prevent him from getting back in time to watch the game…or does she have an ulterior motive?

BYTE ME
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (both flexible)
World Premiere: Red Barn Summer Theatre (Frankfort, IN), August 2011
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

Chris is a kind-hearted soul who likes to help people when he can. Unfortunately, he bites off more than he can chew when he offers to help a techno-phobe named Rudy with a project on her computer. Will Rudy's maddening lack of computer skills drive Chris over the edge? A techie wizard meets a hopeless computer illiterate...and only one will emerge victorious!

CAN’T GET THERE FROM HERE
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (1M, 1W)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2016
Published by: Brooklyn Publishers; click here for more information

Rita and Sean are nearing the end of a weekend in New York City, and their flight home is only a few hours away…or is it? When they learn there is a problem with their flight, they have to make other arrangements to get home quickly, but an escalating series of mistakes casts doubt on whether they will ever see their home again. In this true story, you’ll find it impossible not to laugh at their predicament…because it didn’t happen to you!

CRUSHED!
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 4 (all flexible)
World Premiere: Curtain Call Kids (Dallas Center, IA), September 2017
Published by: Brooklyn Publishers; click here for more information

Four people struggling with addiction attend a support group to deal with their obsession. However, the addiction ruining their lives is not drugs or alcohol, but something much more evil and insidious. No matter what they try, they can’t seem to stop…playing “Candy Crush.”

DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOUR SHELF
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (both flexible)
World Premiere: The Stedfast School of Music and Arts (North Easton, MA), September 2015
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

Jamie is having a pretty normal day, until the bookcase comes to life and begins to carry on a conversation. What can a piece of furniture possibly have to complain about, and what kind of compromises will need to be made for the two of them to get along?

EVERY MONDAY MORNING
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 3 (1W, 2 flexible)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2017

It’s bright and early on a Monday morning, and Sarah is having trouble finding her motivation. As she struggles to begin a new workweek, two old friends – the Angel and Devil on her shoulder – weigh in with their opinions over whether she should do the responsible thing and go to work, or blow it off and sleep in a bit longer. The struggle is real, and the tug of war is a battle not only for the fate of Sarah’s job, but for her very soul!

FAULT OR NO FAULT
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (1M, 1W)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2015
Published by: Brooklyn Publishers; click here for more information

What seems like a simple fender-bender turns out to be much more as Bill and Donna talk through the aftermath of a minor car crash. The events leading up to the crash reveal secret after secret, and they realize that their lives might never be the same.

PLAYDATE
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (1M, 1W)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2017

Like all children, 4-year-olds Cassie and Benjamin like to play grown-up from time to time, but these two new friends have very different views of adulthood. As they play together, both as children and as pretend-adults, they might just learn some secrets about life, parenthood, and the circumstances that have brought them together for their very first playdate.

SERVICE WITH A SMILE
Genre: 10-minute comedy/drama
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 3 (1M, 2W)
World Premiere: Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), October 2017

Customer service in the fast-food industry may not always be top-notch, but it’s rarely been this bad. All an unsuspecting customer wants to do is buy a sandwich at a sub shop, but he finds himself increasingly frustrating while dealing with the most ambivalent, clueless, maddening fast-food employee in the history of the world. Find out what happens when a sub shop…is out of subs!

SILENT TREATMENT
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 3 (all flexible)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2013
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

Three friends are getting together for lunch, but June and Gretchen are surprised to find that Billie, normally the unstoppable chatterbox of the group, isn’t saying a word. Can two friends figure out why a third is giving them the silent treatment?

The SWEET SMELL OF FAME
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (both flexible)
World Premiere: Valley Center High School (Valley Center, KS), January 2016
Published by: Brooklyn Publishers; click here for more information

Riley’s dream comes true when she has a chance encounter with Cameron Colby, the world’s most famous celebrity, and engages him in a private conversation. But in a world where some people are idolized for seemingly no reason, the so-called “talents” that are making people famous these days can really stink…

TRAPPED
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (1M, 1W)
World Premiere: Red Barn Summer Theatre (Frankfort, IN), August 2010
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

The elevator lurches to a halt, trapping two complete strangers – Andy and Rachel – alone together. Aside from both of them searching for a way out, the two don’t seem to have anything in common…or do they?

The VENT BUTTON
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 2 (both flexible)
World Premiere: Clinton County Civic Theatre (Frankfort, IN), April 2014
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

Chris can’t understand why Rudy isn’t more confrontational, and doesn’t stand up to people. But when Chris tries to get Rudy to become more vocal about the little annoyances of everyday life, it quickly becomes a clear case of “Be careful what you wish for!”

YOU’RE IN MY THOUGHTS
Genre: 10-minute comedy
Recommended for: Schools and community theatres
Cast size: 4 (2M, 2W)
World Premiere: Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette (Lafayette, IN), June 2016
Published by: Heuer Publishing; click here for more information

It’s their first date, and nerves are running high for two shy young people. They may not be saying much, but their thoughts speak volumes, as we learn by eavesdropping on their inner monologues. What they are saying aloud and what they are thinking are two very different things. But how different are their thoughts from each other? If you’ve ever had a first date, you’ll laugh at the fear, excitement and insecurity we’ve all felt in these situations but rarely express out loud.

*** REVIEWS ***
Have you seen one of my shows, or been involved in bringing one to life? I’d love to hear from you! E-mail me at scotthaan@hotmail.com, and your comments might even be posted below!

Insane With Power / Super Freaks

“A very fresh and funny play…Insane With Power is a swift and engaging entertainment that should tickle the funny bone of audiences.”
--Keith Waits, Theatre Louisville, KY


“Without a doubt, one of the funniest and most clever comedies I have ever read…It was a major hit last weekend.”
--Tom McAllister, East Brent Baptist Church, FL


“The play is very funny…it offered many laughs for the packed audience Saturday night, [with] a second act that is sure to blow the audiences’ mind.”
--Jason Ogden, East Tawas News-Herald, MI


“A side-splitting production that left the audience in tears of laughter.”
--Krystal Martinson, Cadott High School, WI


“I laughed so much reading it that I knew it would be an injustice not to choose this play. The plot twist blew my mind away, and it will keep the audience laughing through the last scene.”
--Michael Teufel, Stagecraft Stars, IN


“We have had a blast working on this play. There have been many evenings where I went home crying because I was laughing so hard.”
--Tiffany Brinkman, Rifle High School, CO


“You really have a special play here. I had originally not planned to perform a play with a small cast, but once I read your play, I was hooked. I knew from the moment I finished Act I, Scene 1 that this was the one I wanted to do. The cast has had such a fun time rehearsing for and acting in this play. There were some rehearsals that we got behind because we were trying different things and couldn’t stop laughing. Our show was a hit! We had a good turnout both nights and everyone loved the play. In a few years, I plan on doing this play again because I love it so much.”
--Trevor Yarbrough, Dyer County High School, TN


“The play was an absolute success. Students and adults alike went crazy over it. This is the 22nd year of our drama program, and many audience members said it was the best play so far. Thanks for writing such an amazing play!”
--Amber Lee, Zeigler-Royalton High School, IL


“We performed Super Freaks and had a wonderful time with it. From the first reading, there was excitement and lots of laughter. We enjoyed the writing and the surprises. We are a small (K through 12, around 200 students) Eastern Washington school and our Theatre Arts class had 6 students, so your play was perfect for us. Thanks again!”
--Becky Dale, Columbia SD206, WA


Mind Over Matt

Mind Over Matt is hilariously funny…Scott Haan explores to perfection every nuance and variation in emotion in this comedic madhouse with a great surprise ending.”
--Jan/Feb 2010 AACT Spotlight


“A funny play, very “clean” in terms of language and content but also filled with deliciously awkward situations and clever word play…when all of the egos are onstage together, it’s a wonderful madhouse. And I didn’t see the surprise ending coming at all!
--Hope Baugh, www.indytheatrehabit.com, IN


“This play was fantastic! It is well-written, naturally hilarious, and very easy to work with for high school students. Ours is a very small school with a small stage and limited resources, and we were able to be very successful with this show. The students loved performing it and our community loved watching it…I would definitely recommend this show to anyone!”
--Emily Osby, Gresham Community School, WI


“It’s clever and unique and funny. It made me laugh out loud when I was reading it. We laugh at every rehearsal, and that’s something I like putting time and energy into.”
--Angie Nelson, Triumvirate Theatre, AK


“I think Mind Over Matt is brilliant. When I read it, I instantly knew this is the play I wanted to do. The set is easy and anyone who sees this play can relate to the “egos”; the cast members all have a lot of energy for the characters. I have really enjoyed reading and directing this play.”
--Michael Kenton, Gibbon Area Community Theatre, NE


“Your script is smart and funny, one of the funniest scripts that I have read in a long time. The play is wonderful, and we had a lot of fun showing the world what was in Matt’s head. Mind Over Matt will always have a special place in my heart.”
--Doug Davis, Arthur High School, IL


“A friend of mine found the script Mind Over Matt and suggested I read it, and I’m very glad that he did. We performed it yesterday for the high school, and the student body has responded with much enthusiasm, some calling it the funniest play that we have done here. And the kids were having a blast! With a great play like this one, the audience gets involved and the actors just feed off of that energy. It was our pleasure and fortune to put on Mind Over Matt!”
-- Brandon Weaver, Loretto High School, TN


“The cast was already very enthused about the play when we all read through it together for the first time. There have been other plays that they weren’t quite sure would be very funny when we first read them. So, this was a good sign for all of us. We really enjoyed doing your play. It gave us a good story to present to our audiences, along with lots of laughter, and we all know laughter is good for the body and soul! We want to let you know that it was an overwhelming success. There were a little over 550 people that attended the four nights, and we heard from many of them that it was the best play we have done.”
-- Audrey Brake, The Misfits Dinner Theatre, MN


Superhero Sanitarium

“Thank you for writing such a hilarious script. I wish there were more out there like this. The show went extremely well. The students received a thunderous standing ovation and cheers from the audience. We were the only school to receive a standing ovation after performance, and we also received another standing ovation at the awards ceremony. The kids did a phenomenal job and enjoyed every minute of it. To have them do so well on a script that is absolutely hilarious and well-written, was a huge boost to every kid’s confidence and love for the art form. I am sure this is a memory that they will talk about for the rest of their lives.”
--Michael Camenisch, Tallwood High School, VA


“We are having a blast with this show! I allowed the students in my Theatre classes and Drama Club to help choose our One Acts this year, and “Superhero Sanitarium” was a unanimous decision. Thanks again for your wonderful script and supporting the Arts, especially Theatre, in education!”
--Debb Adams, West Knoll Middle School, SC


“This was by far the most enjoyable play my husband and I have had the opportunity to direct! We had such a blast performing your play and received many compliments about what a well-written (and well-acted) play it was. It was 6th, 7th and 8th grade kids that performed and they recognized your genius! Keep up the good work!”
--Lorrie Walla, Columbus Junior High School, TX


“ My students have greatly enjoyed working on this production and we will be performing Superhero Sanitarium at an upcoming acting festival. They fell in love with the superhero characters and have enjoyed creating the characters onstage. You totally made a very memorable moment in their high school theatre careers! Thank for writing a great and funny play that has given us tons of memorable rehearsals!”
--Becky Dale, Columbia SD206, WA


The Storybook Reunion Murders

“When I read it, I thought it was brilliant, and when we did our first table reading with the cast, they were in tears reading the script. It is hilarious for all ages, and easy to produce! This show was thoroughly enjoyed by both cast and audience members, with its fast-paced storyline and incredibly witty references to classic storybook characters and events. Storybook Reunion Murders is an ABSOLUTE JOY!”
--Julie Miller, Clinton County Youth Theatre Director, IN


“To call The Storybook Reunion Murders “charming” does not suffice…It is engrossing, witty, appealing, resonating, memorable, a triumph. I have no doubt that the Brothers Grimm and Aesop themselves would be enlivened and enthralled by this creation. I was thoroughly captivated.”
--Dean Hunter, Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette, IN


“The cast and I think The Storybook Reunion Murders is hilarious. I work with 7th and 8th graders, and this really fit their sense of humor. You have no idea how much I appreciate a funny, simple play that is totally appropriate for a school setting. It’s one of the best our school has done!”
--Jennifer Tanner, Grace Lutheran School, FL


“We had the most fun with that play; it was so clever and witty. We put it on for the 5th and 6th graders during the day and they loved it, even though they didn’t know that they didn’t know most of the jokes! And the teachers were cracking up at the more adult lines. This is a very funny script! This show will ROCK YOU!”
--Mary Beth Baxley, Wadsworth High School, OH


A Very Bad Day for Brandon Butterworth

“Audiences will love the rat-a-tat rhythm of quips and comic zingers in A Very Bad Day for Brandon Butterworth, a story filled with reversals, stunning surprises and a lot of humor.”
--Steven Martin, Civic Theatre of Greater Lafayette, IN


“Like all of Scott’s plays, Brandon has bitingly funny dialog; there are so many laugh-out-loud lines. And he manages to wrap things up with a surprise twist, which doesn’t always happen in comedy. We all really enjoy his humor and stories, and we had a great time with Brandon!
--Angie Nelson, Kenai Performers, AK


“I’ve seen your plays on several occasions, both as an audience member and a festival judge, and I have to congratulate you for writing material that always, always scores. They are so funny and students absolutely LOVE being in them. I’m particularly fond of A Very Bad Day for Brandon Butterworth -- the characters really jump off the page and there are so many theatrical possibilities. I always know when I see your name on the program that I’m in for a good show.”
--Playwright Bradley Hayward


Hex Marks the Spot

“WOW! This is one tight script! Structurally it plays so well, you really can’t put it down. Such wonderful humor and creativity… Lots of twists and genuinely fun characters, too! Well, I could go on and on. This thing ought to fly out of the catalog in no time!”
--Playwright Pat Cook


Hex Marks the Spot has all the elements to make it a director’s dream. There are big parts for your drama kings and queens, and small parts for the kid who wants to give acting a try. I recommend this play for any grade level. The light drama mixed with the comedy made Hex a crowd pleaser!”
-- Daylene Ross-Carter, Lyles Middle School, TX


“I have done two of your scripts this year, (Hex Marks the Spot and Superhero Sanitarium) and my students really enjoyed both plays. It is hard to find scripts that I like and the students like, but yours fit the bill for both. We were so proud to win our state competition with one of your scripts. I think you are extremely talented and love your writing, so please don’t stop!”
-- Laura Clark, Wilson Hall School, SC


“We did two of your plays (Hex Marks the Spot and Superhero Sanitarium) back to back. Each year my 7th and 8th grade casts do two one-act plays in early December, and sometimes it can be hard to find high-quality plays for these grade levels. Both of these plays fit the bill; they are of high interest to my students, and I must say that they are hilarious. Our audience was in stitches. All I can say as a director is, Keep ‘em coming!”
-- Sara Kraft, Platte-Geddes High School, SD


“The performance went very well and the audiences LOVED the show. My students had so much fun performing it that they are a little bummed out that it is over already. We had 600 students come down to see it, and there are students all over the school still quoting lines from the show. One of their favorites is “Tom-Tom spelled backwards is Mot-Mot!” Thank you for writing such an entertaining show and giving us the chance to produce it!”
-- Steve Elser, Merrillville High School, IN


“I definitely wanted a modern play to produce. The first time I read through Hex Marks the Spot, I knew it was the one! My kids love it and are having so much fun with it. We are even having a waffle cast party to keep with the themes of the play! Thank you for doing what you do and supporting theatre in schools. It teaches so many invaluable lessons. To influence students and people positively through expression and creativity…It is what the world needs more of!”
-- Christina Keating, Mountain Valley Middle School, TX


Annie Play Will Do

“This play is so funny; I laughed out loud while reading it, and the kids laughed a lot during auditions. Everyone loved the show, and so many people came up to me to tell me how funny and clever it was. This play is a hit! It’s funny, relevant, and shorter than two hours, and it’s the perfect cast size, especially girl-to-guy ratio. Thank you for writing a perfect show for us!”
--Tiffany Smith, Eastern High School, KY


“This play is hilarious. It's very cleverly written, and the students are having so much fun working on it. I know that enthusiasm and humor will make it a really enjoyable show for our audience as well!”
--Trisha Reichenberger, St. Mary Central School, WI


Annie Play Will Do is one of the most enjoyable plays I have directed. The writing and witty timing was very fun for the entire cast. When we did a reading of this play, we were laughing and could hardly read the lines. And our performance was a success! I was so proud of my students, and the audience had a great time. I hope to put on another Scott Haan play one day!”
--Pam Russell, Pigeon Forge High School, TN


Annie Play Will Do was a wonderful experience from beginning to end. The script was contemporary, with cutting edge humor that was entertaining to all audiences; teens and adults alike laughed uproariously at the antics of the characters and the sharp humor of the dialog. The second act was pretty much non-stop laughter. Our goal for every show is to make it the “best KidsPlay show ever”. After 15 years, we’ve got some shows in our history that are hard to top. We set a new bar with this one!”
--Christine Schaeffer, KidsPlay, IN


“The show is hilarious, and my students are enjoying bringing the characters to life in their own unique ways. We have been having a blast with the dialogue and with the show itself. As the sole theatre teacher on campus, I produce, direct, and basically take on all of the responsibilities for our shows all the way down to hair, costumes, etc., so I can definitely relate to Mr. Morris having to “print the tickets, rig the lights, set up the auditorium, and about a thousand other things,” which makes the show that much more entertaining for myself and the kids. This production has been a delightful experience, and the audiences have really been enjoying the show!”
--Lindsay Gampel Qualin, El Capitan High School, CA


“We have had a lot of fun with the show, and the play was a huge hit. Many people told me they thought it was one of the funniest things they had ever seen. Thanks for providing such a great script!”
-- Anne Roth, Archbishop O’Hara High School, MO


Trapped

“Scott Haan’s crisply written Trapped [is] an amusing examination of two strangers stuck in a hotel elevator. The tension and anxiety of being thrust together in such claustrophobic confines is fertile territory for the sarcastic banter…tossed back and forth with the finesse of a tennis match. [The story] reveals one surprise after another.”
--Paul Kolas, Worcester Telegram & Gazette, MA


The School Spirit

“My kids have truly enjoyed producing this show. We performed at our first round of competition and received 3rd place. I am very happy with this placing, as it is the highest we’ve ever placed; additionally, we had a very tough conference. Also, the students who played Ivy and Faith both received outstanding actor awards. I look forward to reading more of your plays in the future.”
--Sharon White, Strasburg High School, VA


“I love this play! My high school purchased this play for our One-Act Competition; we LOVE the dialogue and message in the play, and it was exciting to perform something fresh and new at the competition. Our principal enjoyed it so much (and said it has such a great message) that he asked us to have an assembly and present it to the entire school. We had so much fun!”
--Sharon Keith, James River High School, VA


“This play is very special to my cast. They very much enjoyed putting together the performance and they loved sharing such an important message! Our students were able to relate to your characters, and your script gave them a lot to work with. Thank you for helping us to make a difference in the lives of our students, their families, friends and the community. We may never know how far reaching this has been and how many injuries and lives this has helped save. We had a lot of fun with it and I believe for many of them it has made a very large impact on their lives.”
--Sabrina Gilmore, Barstow High School, CA


Penny For Your Thoughts

“The show was an ENORMOUS success! In fact, it was the most successful comedy I have ever directed. And I say that based on the audience’s engagement. For three nights in a row, my cast had to pause not just for tons of laughs, but also for audience reaction. Everything from the jeers directed at Rick at the end of Act 1, to the cheers for Matt when he decides to fight for Penny. I’ve had teenage audiences for 5 years now, and none of them were as emotionally invested in a comedy as I’ve just witnessed this weekend. It was something that, as a director OR actor, I have never experienced. It was a fantastic feeling, which now resonates in the minds of 22 young people, and myself. I thank you for that. People need to know about this play!”
--Matt Rentfrow, Olathe East High School, KS


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