Script


TOM

Good morning class.  I am your new teacher, Mr. Miser.  (he struggles with himself)  No that isn’t going to work. (HE tries again) Good morning, students.  I am Mr. Miser, your new teacher. (Pacing) I don’t know why I am so nervous this morning.  I mean, I have a degree, I love children… There’s no reason why I wouldn’t be a great teacher.  (He paces again) What to do…What to do…Maybe there is something on the school TV monitor that can help me.  (HE mimes turning on a monitor facing the audience.)

 

V/O

(in a  a bad Julia Child’s voice)  Today’s lunch special will be Tuna Surprise with stuffed tomatoes and a vegetable medley…

 

V/O

(In a bad Tom Brokaw voice) Today Boardwalk was traded for Marvin Gardens and three hotels according to the Iron.  The deal was made by a consortium of the race car, the thimble, and the shoe…

 

V/O

(in a bad Eddie G. Robinson voice) And I tell you, members of the jury, that the crime was committed by Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the candlestick!

 

TOM

No clue there.  (HE reaches up and turns off the TV.  He begins pacing again)

 

DORI

They’re gonna laugh at me.  I hope they don’t think I am an idiot.

 

TOM

You can say that again…

 

SHULIE

I’ll be fine.  They’re only eight year olds.  I remember what it was like to be an eight year old… I think.

 

JOE

Those little monsters are going to eat me alive!

 

DINA

I got up early.  I have plenty of time.

 

GEORGE

Maybe I should look over my lesson plan. (opens his briefcast)

 

DORI

Ugh, it’s too early to think.

 

SHULIE

Maybe I should just go back to bed.

 

JOE

I am not a morning person.

 

TOM

Okay, okay, okay!  Let me try one more time, one more channel.  Hey, I didn’t know these School House Rock things were back on… I guess I have a little time to watch.

 

#1 – Verb: That’s What’s Happening (Company)

 

GEORGE

LET’S GET THIS THING IN ACTION.

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

GEORGE

TO BE, TO SEE, TO FEEL, TO LIVE.

 

WOMEN

VERB, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENIN’!

 

JOE

I PUT MY HEART IN ACTION

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

JOE

TO RUN, TO GO, TO GET, TO GIVE.

 

WOMEN

VERB, YOU’RE WHAT’S HAPPENIN’!

 

TOM

THAT’S WHERE I FIND SATISFACTION.

 

WOMEN

YEAH!

 

TOM

TO SEARCH, TO FIND, TO HAVE, TO HOLD.

 

WOMEN

VERB! TO BE BOLD!

 

GEORGE

WHEN I USE MY IMAGINATION,

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

GEORGE

I THINK…

 

TOM

I PLOT…

 

JOE

I PLAN…

 

GEORGE

I DREAM…

TURNING IN TOWARDS CREATION

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

DINA

I MAKE…

 

SHULIE

I WRITE…

 

DORI

I DANCE…

 

DINA

I SING…

 

 

 

 

 

JOE

WHEN I’M FEELIN’ REALLY ACTIVE,

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

JOE

I RUN, I RIDE, I SWIM, I FLY!

 

TOM

OTHER TIMES WHEN LIFE IS EASY,

 

WOMEN

OH!

 

TOM

I REST, I SLEEP, I SIT, I LIE!

 

WOMEN

VERB, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENIN’.

 

GEORGE

I CANT TAKE A NOUN AND BEND IT.

GIVE ME A NOUN.

 

WOMEN

BAT, BOAT, RAKE AND PLOW.

 

GEORGE

MAKE IT A VERB AND REALLY SEND IT.

 

WOMEN

SHOW ME HOW!

 

GEORGE

OH, I DON’T KNOW MY OWN POWER.

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

MEN

LTE’S GET THIS THING IN ACTION.

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

MEN

IN BEING!

 

WOMEN

VERB!

MEN

IN DOING!

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

MEN

IN SINGING!

 

GEORGE

A verb expresses action, being, or state of being.

 

WOMEN

A verb makes a statement.

 

GEORGE

Yeah! A verb tells it like it is!

 

WOMEN

VERB, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENIN’!

 

GEORGE

I CANT TELL YOU WHEN IT’S HAPPENIN’.

 

WOMEN

PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE TENSE.

 

TOM

TELL ME MORE ABOUT WHAT’S HAPPENIN’.

 

WOMEN

SAY IT SO IT MAKES SOME SENSE.

 

GEORGE

I CAN TELL YOU WHO IS HAPPENIN’.

 

WOMEN

VERB, YOU’RE SO INTENSE.

 

JOE

EVERY SENTENCE HAS A SUBJECT.

 

WOMEN

NOUN, PERSON, PLACE OR THING.

 

TOM

FIND THE SUBJECT: WHERE’S THE ACTION?

 

WOMEN

VERB CAN MAKE A SUBJECT SING.

 

GEORGE, JOE

TAKE THE SUBJECT.

 

TOM

WHAT?

 

WOMEN

WHAT IS IT?

 

TOM

WHAT?

 

WOMEN

WHAT’S DONE TO IT?

 

TOM

WHAT?

 

WOMEN

WHAT DOES IT SAY?

 

VERB, YOU’RE WHAT’S HAPPENIN’!

 

MEN

I CAN QUESTION, LIKE: WHAT IS IT?

 

WOMEN

VERB, YOU’RE SO DEMANDING.

 

MEN

I CAN ORDER, LIKE: LET’S DO IT!

 

WOMEN

VERB, YOU’RE SO COMMANDING.

 

MEN

WHEN THEY PLAY THEY NEED AN OBJECT.

 

WOMEN

VERB: PLAY! PLAY THE SONG.

 

MEN

WHEN WE ROCK, WE ROCK THE OBJECT.

 

ALL

ROCK THE SCHOOLHOUSE ALL NIGHT LONG!

 

GEORGE

Hey, welcome to Schoolhouse Rock…

 

ALL

…LIVE!

 

GEORGE

Where this is the schoolhouse, and you are rockin’ it!

 

ALL

LET’S GET THIS THING IN ACTION.

 

WOMEN

VERB, YOU’RE WHAT’S HAPPENIN’!

 

TOM

TO WORK.

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

TOM, GEORGE

TO PLAY.

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

TOM, GEORGE, JOE

TO LIVE.

 

WOMEN

VERB!

 

ALL

TO LOVE!

 

TOM

Who are you, and what are you doing in my rec. room!?

 

GEORGE

We’re…YOU, Tom.

 

TOM

Well, that’s enough TV for one morning.  I’m going crazy.

 

SHULIE

No, no, don’t turn off the TV.  Leave the TV on…please?

 

TOM

You want the TV.  Take the TV.  The TV’s yours.  Just leave me alone.

 

GEORGE

Relax, Tom.  We’re just different parts of you.  We are all the ideas in your head.

 

DINA

And not just us, Tom.  Do you realize how many ideas you have in your head?  Just look around you.

 

ALL

Hi.  Hello.  Etc.

 

TOM

I don’t understand this!

 

SHULIE

Don’t you see, Tom?  We’re every person you’ve ever met.

 

JOE

We’re every place you’ve ever been!

 

DORI

We’re every thing you’ve ever known!

 

#2 – A Noun Is A Person, Place Or Thing (Dori, Company)

 

SHULIE

Feel better?

 

TOM

No.

 

JOE

You look great!

 

DORI

WELL, EVERY PERSON YOU CAN KNOW,

AND EVERY PLACE THAT YOU CAN GO,

 

AND ANY THING THAT YOU CAN SHOW,

 

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS.

 

A NOUN’S A SPECIAL KIND OF WORD,

 

IT’S ANY NAME YOU EVER HEARD.

 

I FIND IT QUITE INTERESTING.

 

A NOUN’S A PERSON, PLACE OR THING.

 

 

OH, I TOOK A TRAIN, TOOK A TRAIN TO ANOTHER STATE.

 

THE FLORA AND THE FAUNA THAT I SAW WERE REALLY GREAT.

 

BUT WHEN I SAW SOME BANDITS CHASIN’ THE TRAIN,

 

I WAS WISHIN’  I WAS BACK HOME AGAIN.

 

I TOOK A TRAIN, TOOK A TRAIN TO ANOTHER STATE.

 

 

WELL, EVERY PERSON YOU CAN KNOW,

 

SHULIE                                                                                    DINA, TOM, GEORGE

Like a bandit!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

JOE                                                                                                OO

Or an engineer!                                                                        DO

 

DORI

AND ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN SHOW,

 

GEORGE                                                                                    DINA, SHULIE, JOE

Like a state!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

TOM                                                                                                OO

Or a home!                                                                                    DO

 

DORI

AND ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN SHOW,

 

DINA                                                                                                TOM, GEORGE

Like animals!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

SHULIE                                                                                    OO

Plants!                                                                                                DO

 

JOE

Or a train!

 

DORI

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS,

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS.

OH.

 

MRS. JONES IS A LADY ON HUDSON STREET.

SHE SENT HER DOG TO BARK AT MY BROTHER AND ME.

WE GAVE HER DOG A BIG FAT BONE,

AND NOW HE BARKS AT MRS. JONES.

SHE’S A LADY WHO LIVES ON HUDSON STREET.

 

WELL, EVERY PERSON YOU CAN KNOW,

 

SHULIE                                                                                    TOM, GEORGE

Mrs. Jones!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

DINA                                                                                                OO

A lady!                                                                                                DO

 

JOE

Or a brother!

 

DORI

AND EVERY PLACE THAT YOU CAN GO,

 

GEORGE                                                                                    DINA, SHULIE, JOE

Like a street!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

TOM                                                                                                OO

Or a corner!                                                                                    DO

 

DORI

AND ANY THING THAT YOU CAN SHOW,

 

GEORGE                                                                                    DINA, TOM, JOE

Like a dog!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

SHULIE                                                                                    OO

Or a bone!

 

DORI

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS,

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS.

 

I TOOK A FERRY TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

 

DINA, SHULIE

DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO.

 

DORI

MY BEST FRIEND WAS WAITIN’ THERE FOR ME.

 

ALL

…HE TOOK AN EARLY FERRY.

 

DORI

WE WENT FOR A WALK ON THE ISLAND, YOU KNOW,

AND IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER, IT STARTED TO SNOW,

WHEN I TOOK A FERRY TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

 

WELL, EVERY PERSON YOU CAN KNOW,

 

GEORGE                                                                                    DINA, SHULIE, TOM

Like a friend!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

JOE                                                                                                OO

Or the captain of a ship!                                                            DO

 

DORI

AND EVERY PLACE THAT YOU CAN GO,

 

SHULIE                                                                                    DINA, GEORGE, JOE

Like an island!                                                                        DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

TOM                                                                                                OO

Or the sea!                                                                                    DO

 

DORI

AND ANY THING THAT YOU CAN SHOW,

 

DINA                                                                                                SHULIE, TOM

Like a statue!                                                                                    DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

JOE                                                                                                OO

A ferry!                                                                                    DO

 

GEORGE

Or snow!

 

DORI

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS—

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS.

YEAH!

OH,

 

I PUT  A DIME IN THE DRUGSTORE RECORD MACHINE.

OLDIE GOLDIES STARTED PLAYIN’, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I HEARD…

 

ALL

CHUBBY CHECKER, HE WAS DOIN’ THE TWIST—

AND THE BEATLES AND THE MONKEES, IT GOES LIKE THIS!

 

DORI

I PUT A DIME IN THE DRUGSTORE RECORD MACHINE.

 

WELL, EVERY PERSON YOU CAN KNOW,

 

JOE                                                                                                DINA, SHULIE

Like the Beatles!                                                                        DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

GEORGE                                                                                    OO

And the Monkees!                                                                        DO

 

TOM

Chubby Checker!

 

DORI

AND EVERY PLACE THAT YOU CAN GO,

 

SHULIE                                                                                    DINA, GEORGE, JOE

Like a neighborhood!                                                            DOODLE

                                                                                                OODLE

TOM                                                                                                OO

Or a store!                                                                                    DO

 

DORI

AND ANY THING THAT YOU CAN SHOW,

 

JOE

Like a dime!

 

ALL

Or a record machine!

 

DORI

YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOUNS.

A NOUN’S A…

 

ALL

…SPECIAL KIND OF WORD.

IT’S ANY NAME YOU EVER HEARD.

I FIND IT QUITE INTERESTING,

A NOUN’S A PERSON, PLACE OR THING.

A NOUN IS A PERSON, PLACE OR

 

DORI, GEORGE

THING.

 

DINA, SHULIE, TOM, JOE

DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO, DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO,

 

ALL

DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO, DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO.

DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO, DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO.

DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO, DOODLE-OODLE-OO-DOO.

 

TOM

Okay guys, I usually enjoy a good morning hallucination, but I have got teach my first day of classes today – so I’d appreciate it if you would all just scoot.

 

GEORGE

Tom, we know today is your first day of teaching.  That’s why we’re here.  We are here to help you.

 

Right?

 

TOM

What would really help is if I look over my lesson plan.  It’s going to be tough enough already.

 

 

 

 

 

#3 – Three Is A Magic Number (George, Company)

 

GEORGE

Tom, it’s not going to be tough.  It’s going to be easy.  Why, when we get through with you, it’ll be as easy as…

 

ONE, TWO, THREE…

 

THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER.

YES, IT IS.

IT’S A MAGIC NUMBER.

 

SOMEWHERE IN THE ANCIENT, MYSTIC TRINITY,

YOU GET THREE AS A MAGIC NUMBER.

THE PAST AND THE PRESENT AND THE FUTURE,

FAITH AND HOPE AND CHARITY,

THE HEART AND THE BRAIN AND THE BODY

GIVE YOU THREE – AS A MAGIC NUMBER.

 

IT TAKES THREE LEGS TO MAKE A TRIPOD,

OR TO MAKE A TABLE STAND.

IT TAKES THREE WHEELS TO MAKE A VEHICLE

CALLED A TRICYCLE.

 

EVERY TRIANGLE HAS THREE CORNERS,

EVERY TRIANGLE HAS THREE SIDES.

NO MORE, NO LESS, YOU DON’T HAVE TO GUESS.

 

WHEN IT’S THREE, YOU CAN SEE

IT’S A MAGIC NUMBER.

 

ALL

A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD A LITTLE BABY.

YES, THEY DID.

THEY HAD THREE IN THE FAMILY.

 

GEORGE

THAT’S A MAGIC NUMBER.

 

3, 6, 9 –

 

12, 15, 18 –

 

21, 24, 27 –

 

30!

 

NOW DO THAT WITH ME!

 

ALL

3, 6, 9 –

 

12, 15, 18 –

 

21, 24, 27 –

 

30!

 

GEORGE

NOW MULTIPLY BACKWARDS FROM 3 TIMES 10.

 

3 TIMES 10 IS?

 

ALL

30

 

GEORGE

3 TIMES 9 IS?

 

ALL

27

 

GEORGE

3 TIMES 8 IS?

 

ALL

24

 

GEORGE

3 TIMES 7 IS?

 

ALL

21

3 TIMES 6 IS 18,

3 TIMES 5 IS 15,

3 TIMES 4 IS 12,

AND 3 TIMES 3 IS 9, AND 3 TIMES 2 IS 6…

 

GEORGE

AND 3 TIMES ONE IS 3,

OF COURSE.

NOW DIG THE PATTERN ONCE MORE!

 

ALL

3, 6, 9 –

 

GEORGE

12!

 

ALL

12, 15, 18 –

 

GEORGE

21!

 

ALL

21, 24, 27 –

30!

 

GEORGE

YEAH!

 

NOW MULTIPLY FROM 10, BACKWARDS!

 

3 TIMES 10 IS?

 

ALL

30

 

GEORGE

3 TIMES 9 IS?

 

ALL

27

 

GEORGE

3 TIMES 8 IS?

 

ALL

24

 

GEORGE

3 TIMES 7 IS?

 

ALL

21.

3 TIMES 6 IS 18,

3 TIMES 5 IS 15,

3 TIMES 4 IS 12,

 

AND 3 TIMES 3 IS 9, AND 3 TIMES 2 IS 6…

 

GEORGE

AND 3 TIMES ONE,

WHAT IS IT?

 

TOM

THREE!!!

 

GEORGE

YEAH.

THAT’S A MAGIC NUMBER.

 

That’s good Tom, but let them play too.

 

A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD A LITTLE BABY.

YES, THEY DID.

THEY HAD THREE IN THE FAMILY.

 

ALL

THAT’S A MAGIC NUMBER.

 

TOM

Listen, I can see that you are all trying to help me, really you are, but you are going to have to leave, cause you’re not all going to fit in my briefcase…

 

JOE

Tom, Tommy, Tomarino.  You can’t turn us off yet.  You invented us.

 

TOM

And if I invented you, then I can do what I want with you.

 

DORI

But you invented us for a reason, Mister.

 

DINA

That’s right, Tom.  You invented us because you need our help and necessity is the mother of invention, you know…. It’s necessary…a necessity…

 

 

 

 

 

 

#4 – Mother Necessity (Company)

 

JOE

The mothers depicted in this song do not necessarily reflect true historical happening.  And events may have been changed for the story line.  Only the inventions are real…

 

ALL

MOTHER NECESSITY,

WITH HER GOOD INTENTIONS –

WHERE WOULD THIS COUNTRY BE

WITHOUT HER INVENTIONS?

 

TOM

OH,

THINGS WERE ROTTEN

IN THE LAND OF COTTON

UNTIL WHITNEY MADE THE COTTON GIN.

NOW, OLD TIMES THERE WILL

SOON BE FORGOTTEN,

FOR IT DID THE WORK OF A HUNDRED MEN.

 

ALL

MOTHER NECESSITY, WHERE WOULD WE BE?

 

DINA

MOTHER EDISON WORKED LATE EACH NIGHT.

IT WENT WELL UNTIL THE FADING LIGHT.

 

GEORGE

LITTLE THOMAS ALVA EDISON SAID,

“I’LL GROW UP TO BE A GREAT INVENTOR

AND I’LL MAKE A LAMP

TO HELP MY MOMMY SEE.”

WOWEE!

 

WHAT AN EXCELLENT APPLICATION OF ELECTRICITY.

 

DINA

HE WORKED HARD AND PULLED THE SWITCH.

 

HE WAS SMART AND VERY RICH.

 

ALL

MOTHER NECESSITY HELPED US TO SEE.

 

JOE

NOW, THE MOTHER OF SAMUEL MORSE

ALWAYS SENT THE LAD OUT ON A HORSE.

 

DINA

TAKE A MESSAGE TO MS. PEAVEY

ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE PIKE.

SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THE QUILTING BEE

NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT.

 

DORI

LITTLE SAMUEL STARTED THINKIN’

‘BOUT A WAY TO SEND A MESSAGE

‘CAUSE HE NEVER MET A HORSE HE DIDN’T LIKE.

 

UGH!

 

ALL

MOTHER NECESSITY…

 

DINA

ELIAS, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY SEWING?

 

MOTHER, DEAR, I’LL FULFILL YOUR FONDEST WISHES.

 

DINA

ELIAS, HOW?

 

TOM

THIS MACHINE I’VE MADE WILL

KEEP YOUR SEWING REALLY FLOWING.

IN FACT, IT’LL KEEP THE WHOLE NATION IN STITCHES.

 

ALL

AH…

MOTHER NECESSITY, WHERE WOULD WE BE?

 

JOE

RING ME ON THE ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL.

THANK YOU, ALEXANDER, FOR THE PHONE.

 

SHULIE

I’D NEVER GET A DATE,

I’D NEVER GET A JOB –

UNLESS I HAD A TELEPHONE.

 

ALL

MOTHER NECESSITY…

 

DINA

ORVILLE, WILBUR, GO OUTSIDE THIS MINUTE

AND THERE CONTINUE WITH YOUR SILLY PLAYING.

TAKE THESE PLANS, TAKE THESE BLUEPRINTS,

TAKE THIS FUNNY LOOKIN’ THING.

TAKE THAT WHEEL AND TAKE THAT WING.

I CAN’T HEAR A THING THAT MRS. JOHNSON’S SAYING.

 

ORVILLE! WILBUR! COME BACK BOYS! ORVILLE! WILBUR!

 

ALL

MOTHER NECESSITY, WHERE WOULD WE BE?

 

GEORGE

WHEN ROBERT FULTON MADE THE STEAMBOAT GO…

 

DORI

WHEN MARCONI GAVE US WIRELESS RADIO…

 

JOE

WHEN HENRY FORD CRANKED UP HIS FIRST AUTOMO…

 

SHULIE

WHEN SAMUEL SLATER SHOWED US HOW THE FACTORIES GO…

 

TOM

AND ALL THE IRON AND OIL AND COAL AND STEEL

AND “YANKEE DON’T YOU KNOW”,

THEY MADE THIS COUNTRY REALLY…

 

ALL

GROW, GROW, GROW, GROW, GRO – OW…

 

WITH MOTHER NECESSITY!

WHERE WOULD WE BE

WITHOUT THE INVENTIONS OF YOUR PROGENY?

 

DINA

So, Tom are you starting to get back a little bit of that educational spark?

 

TOM

It’s early. I have no spark. (beat.  THEY think.)

 

DINA

Hey, Mister… don’t get lazy.  Come on, Tom.  Think back to why you wanted to become a teacher in the first place.

 

TOM

It was my major.

 

DORI

Think a little bit farther back.

 

TOM

Well, my grandmother was a teacher.

 

DINA

And her mother before her, and her mother before her and her mother before her.  Wait, maybe I lost track a little there…

 

SHULIE

Remember all stories your grandmother used to tell about her mother?

 

TOM

Yes.  They were all very proud to be teachers.  In fact, it was one of the few opportunities available to women at the time.

 

DINA

See!

 

SHULIE

Back then, Tom, a woman didn’t even have the right to vote.

 

TOM

Gosh, that’s true.

 

SHULIE

This country was founded by men at a time when women had virtually no say about what went on in the world around them.  They were left at home to cook and to clean…With the men telling them what to cook and what to clean…(SHE works up a head of steam)  Oooooh I oughta……!!!

 

#5 – Sufferin’ Till Suffrage (Dina, Shulie, Dori)

 

DINA

That’s right, Shulie, and I have a few things to say about that!

 

DINA, SHULIE, DORI

WOO!

 

DINA

NOW, YOU HAVE HEARD

OF WOMEN’S RIGHTS,

AND HOW WE’VE TRIED

TO REACH NEW HEIGHTS.

IF WE’RE “ALL CREATED EQUAL”…

THAT’S US TOO!

 

SHULIE, DORI

YEAH!

 

DINA

BUT YOU WILL PROB –

 

SHULIE, DORI

BAH, BOP!

 

DINA

-‘BLY NOT RECALL

THAT IT’S NOT BEEN

 

SHULIE, DORI

SHOOP, SHOO!

 

DINA

TOO LONG AT ALL

SINCE WE EVEN HAD THE RIGHT TO

CAST A VOTE.

 

SHULIE, DORI

YEAH!

 

DINA

WELL, SURE, SOME MEN BOWED DOWN AND CALLED US “MISSUS”,

 

SHULIE, DORI

YEAH!

 

DINA

LET US HANG THE WASH OUT

AND WASH THE DISHES.

 

SHULIE, DORI

HUH?!

 

DINA

BUT WHEN THE TIME ROLLED AROUND

TO ELECT A PRESIDENT –

 

What did they say, sisters?

 

SHULIE, DORI

What did they say?

 

DINA

THEY SAID, UH…

 

ALL THREE

“SEE YA LATER, ALLIGATOR”

 

DINA

“AND DON’T FORGET MY,

MY MASHED POTATOES,

‘CAUSE I’M GOIN’ DOWNTOWN TO CAST MY VOTE

FOR PRESIDENT.”

 

SHULIE, DORI

You tell ‘em, sister!

 

ALL THREE

OH, WE’RE SUFFERIN’ UNTIL SUFFRAGE.

 

SHULIE, DORI

WHOA!

 

DINA

NOT A WOMAN HERE COULD VOTE,

NO MATTER WHAT AGE,

 

SHULIE, DORI

NO!

 

DINA

THEN THE NINETEENTH AMENDMENT

STRUCK DOWN THAT RESTRICTIVE RULE.

 

SHULIE, DORI

OH YEAH!

 

BOP!

 

DINA

AND NOW WE PULL DOWN

 

SHULIE, DORI

BAH!

 

DINA

ON THE LEVER,

 

SHULIE, DORI

BOP!

 

DINA

CAST OUR BALLOTS,

 

SHULIE, DORI

BAH!

 

DINA                                                                                                SHULIE, DORI

AND WE ENDEAVOR TO IM-                                               

            PROVE OUR COUNTRY,                                                WOAH!

STATE, COUNTY, TOWN

            AND SCHOOL.

 

SHULIE, DORI

Tell ‘em ‘bout it!

 

BOP! BOP!

 

DINA

THOSE PILGRIM WOMEN WHO –

 

SHULIE, DORI

WHO?

DINA

WHO BRAVE THE BOAT

 

SHULIE, DORI

THEY COOK, COOK, COOK!

 

DINA

COULD COOK THE TURKEY,

BUT THEY – THEY COULD NOT VOTE.

 

DINA                                                                                                SHULIE, DORI

EVEN BETSEY ROSS, WHO                                                            WHOA –

            SEWED THE FLAG,

WAS LEFT BEHIND THAT

            FIRST ELECTION DAY.

 

SHULIE, DORI

What a shame, sister!

 

DINA

THEN SUSAN B. ANTHONY,

 

SHULIE, DORI

YEAH!

 

DINA

AND JULIA HOWE,

 

SHULIE, DORI

LUCRETIA!

 

DINA

LUCRETIA MOTT,

 

SHULIE, DORI

AND OTHERS!

 

DINA

THEY SHOWED US HOW!

 

DINA                                                                                                SHULIE, DORI

THEY CARRIED SIGNS                                                            WHOA!

AND MARCHED IN LINES

UNTIL AT LONG LAST,

THE LAW WAS PASSED.

 

ALL THREE

OH, WE’RE SUFFERIN’ UNTIL SUFFRAGE

 

SHULIE, DORI

WHOA!

 

DINA

NOT A WOMAN HERE COULD VOTE,

NO MATTER WHAT AGE,

 

SHULIE, DORI

NO!

 

DINA

THEN THE NINETEENTH AMENDMENT

 

STRUCK DOWN THAT RESTRICTIVE RULE.

 

SHULIE, DORI

OH YEAH!

 

BOP, BOP!

 

DINA

AND NOW WE PULL DOWN

 

SHULIE, DORI

OOO WOW!

 

DINA

ON THE LEVER,

 

SHULIE, DORI

MM, BOP, MM, BOP, BOP!

 

DINA

CAST OUR BALLOTS,

 

SHULIE, DORI

OOH, WOW!

 

DINA                                                                                                SHULIE, DORI

AND WE ENDEAVOR TO IM-

            PROVE OUR COUNTRY,                                                WHOA!

STATE, COUNTY, TOWN

            AND SCHOOL.

                                                                                                MY VOTE!

                                                                                                MY VOTE!

YES, THE NINETEENTH                                                            WHOA!

            AMENDMENT

STRUCK DOWN THAT

            RESTRICTIVE RULE!

                                                                                                YEAH, YEAH!

                                                                                                YEAH, YEAH!

YES, THE NINETEENTH                                                            WHOA!

            AMENDMENT

STRUCK DOWN THAT

            RESTRICTIVE RULE!

                                                                                                YEAH, YEAH!

                                                                                                YEAH, YEAH!

 

YES, THE NINETEENTH                                                            WHOA!

            AMENDMENT

STRUCK DOWN THAT

            RESTRICTIVE RULE!

                                                                                                YEAH, YEAH!

 

ALL THREE

YEAH, YEAH!

YEAH, YEAH!

 

DINA                                                                                                SHULIE, DORI

YEAH, YEAH,                                                                                    YEAH, YEAH!

YEAH, YEAH!

                                                                                                WHOA!

 

DINA

SISTERS, UNITE!

 

ALL THREE

VOTE ON!

 

TOM

Wow, guess I needed a few reminders of what life was like before women’s rights. 

 

DINA

That’s right.

 

TOM

Yeah. Reminds me of my sister and her special relationship they had.

 

DINA

Good memory, Tom.  What about you?  Did you have any special memories growing up?

 

TOM

That song brought back so many memories.  You know, I used to help out in my grandfather’s hardware store when I was a kid.  Except, every Saturday morning, I used to sneak into the back and turn on the TV, and there would be Schoolhouse Rock!

 

 

 

JOE

Well, there you go, Tom.  You can use memories like that to bring some new energy into your teaching but instead of selling hardware, imagine that they sold parts of speech.

 

TOM

I feel a song coming on…

 

#6 – Lolly, Lolly, Lolly (Tom, Joe, George)

 

HMM!

 

JOE

HMM!

 

GEORGE

HMM!

 

Ready, Pop?

 

JOE

Yup!

 

GEORGE

Ready, Son?

 

TOM

Uh, huh!

 

GEORGE

Let’s go!

 

TOM

Let’s go!

 

ALL THREE

ONE, TWO!

 

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, GET YOUR ADVERBS HERE.

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, GOT SOME ADVERBS HERE.

COME ON DOWN TO LOLLY’S, GET THE ADVERBS HERE

YOU’RE GOING TO NEED IF YOU WRITE

OR READ OR EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

 

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, GET YOUR ADVERBS HERE.

GOT A LOT OF LOLLY JOLLY ADVERBS HERE.

ANYTHING YOU NEED

AND WE CAN MAKE IT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR:

 

GEORGE, JOE

AN ADVERB IS A WORD…

 

TOM

That’s all it is, and there’s a lot of them!

 

GEORGE, JOE

THAT MODIFIES A VERB…

 

TOM

Sometimes a verb, and sometimes…

 

GEORGE, JOE

IT MODIFIES AN ADJECTIVE…

 

ALL THREE

OR ELSE ANOTHER ADVERB;

AND SO YOU SEE THAT IT’S POSITIVELY

VERY, VERY NECESSARY.

 

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, GET YOUR ADVERBS HERE.

FATHER, SON, AND LOLLY SELLING ADVERBS HERE.

GOT A LOT OF ADVERBS

AND WE MAKE IT CLEAR, SO COME TO LOLLY’S…

 

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY…

 

JOE

Hello, folks.  This is Lolly, Senior saying we have every adverb in the book, so come on down and look.

 

GEORGE

Hello, folks.  Lolly, Junior here.  Suppose you’re painting your house? How are you going to paint it?  That’s where you need an adverb.  We can also sell you a very special intensifier, so you can paint it very neatly or rather sloppily!

 

TOM

Hi! Suppose you and your friend are going nut-gathering and you want to know where or when?  Use an adverb to tell them.

 

ALL THREE

GET YOUR ADVERBS!

 

USE IT WITH AN ADJECTIVE, IT SAYS MUCH MORE.

ANYTHING DESCRIBED CAN BE DESCRIBED SOME MORE.

ANYTHING YOU EVER NEED IS IN THE STORE,

AND SO YOU CHOOSE VERY CAREFULLY

EVERY WORD YOU USE.

 

USE IT WITH A VERB, IT TELLS US HOW YOU DID,

WHERE IT HAPPENED, WHERE YOU’RE GOING,

WHERE YOU’VE BEEN.

USE IT WITH ANOTHER ADVERB,

THAT’S THE END AND EVEN MORE…

 

HOW, WHERE OR WHEN,

CONDITION OR REASON,

THESE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED

WHEN YOU USE AN ADVERB.

 

TOM

COME AND GET IT!

 

GEORGE, TOM

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY…

 

JOE

If it’s an adverb, we’ve got it at Lolly’s.  Bring along your old adjectives, too, like slow, soft, and sure… We’ll fit ‘em out with our “l-y” attachment and make perfectly good adverbs out of them!

 

GEORGE, TOM

GET YOUR ADVERBS HERE.

 

JOE

Lots of good tricks at Lolly’s, so come on down!

 

GEORGE, TOM

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY!

 

JOE

Adverbs deal with manner, place and time.

 

GEORGE, TOM

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY!

 

JOE

Condition and reason.

 

GEORGE, TOM

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY!

 

TOM

Besides, they’re absolutely free!

 

ALL

LOLLY, LOLLY, LOLLY!

 

JOE

At your service!

 

ALL THREE

INDUBITABLY!

 

#7 – Unpack Your Adjectives (Shulie, Company)

CUT

 

TOM

Okay, I think I’m starting to get the idea here.  I can teach grammar, if I use a little imagination.

 

GEORGE

Right!

 

TOM

But I’m not just going to be teaching grammar.  I also have to teach math and science, and social studies…

 

GEORGE

Ah ha… Social studies.  Okay, I think I understand your problem, and I believe I can help.  Follow me.

 

TOM

What are we waiting for?

 

GEORGE

We’re waiting for the President.

 

TOM

...of the United States?  Obama?  We get to see Obama?

 

GEORGE

Well, that really doesn’t help our story.  You might have to go back a bit further….

 

 

TOM

A Bush?  A Bush is going to help us?

 

GEORGE

Well, certainly not a George, or a Tom, or a Herbert, but just a little further back than George….

 

TOM

I get it!  (HE gets it)  A Bill!  (in a Bill Clinton Voice)  How a bill gets to congress.

 

#8 – Just A Bill (George)

 

I’M JUST A BILL, YES, I’M ONLY A BILL,

AND I’M SITTIN’ HERE ON CAPITOL HILL.

WELL, IT’S A …

 

LONG, LONG JOURNEY

TO THE CAPITOL CITY.

IT’S A LONG, LONG WAIT

WHILE I’M SITTIN’ IN COMMITTEE.

BUT I KNOW I’LL BE A LAW SOMEDAY –

AT LEAST I HOPE AND PRAY THAT I WILL,

BUT TODAY, I AM STILL JUST A BILL.

 

TOM

Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.

 

GEORGE

Yeah.  And when I started out, I wasn’t even a bill.  I was just an idea.

 

Some folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called their local Congressman and he said:

 

JOE

“You’re right! There ought to be a law.”

 

GEORGE

Then he sat down, wrote me out, and introduced me to Congress, and I became a bill.  And I’ll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law.

 

I’M JUST A BILL. YES, I’M ONLY A BILL.

AND I…

 

GOT AS FAR AS CAPITOL HILL.

WELL, NOW I’M STUCK IN COMMITTEE

AND I’LL SIT HERE AND WAIT…

 

WHILE A FEW KEY CONGRESSMEN

DISCUSS AND DEBATE

WHETHER THEY SHOULD LET ME BE A LAW.

 

HOW I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THEY WILL,

BUT TODAY,

 

I AM STILL JUST A BILL.

 

TOM

Listen to all those Congressmen arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you.

 

GEORGE

Yeah, and I’m one of the lucky ones.

 

Most bills never even get this far.  I hope they decide to report on me favorably.

 

Otherwise I may die.

 

TOM

Die?

 

GEORGE

Yeah, die in committee.

 

Oh, but it looks like I’m gonna live!

 

Now I go to the House of Representatives and they vote on me.

 

TOM

What happens if they say “yes”?

 

GEORGE

Then I go to the Senate and the whole thing starts all over again!

 

TOM

Oh no!

 

GEORGE

Oh, yes!

 

I’M JUST A BILL. YES, I’M ONLY A BILL.

AND IF THEY VOTE FOR ME ON CAPITOL HILL,

WELL, THEN I’M OFF TO THE WHITE HOUSE

WHERE I’LL WAIT IN A LINE

WITH A LOT OF OTHER BILLS

FOR THE PRESIDENT TO SIGN.

AND IF HE SIGNS ME, THEN I’LL BE A LAW.

HOW I HOPE AND PRAY THAT HE WILL,

BUT TODAY, I AM STILL…

JUST A BILL.

 

TOM

You mean even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the President can still say “no”?

 

GEORGE

Yes, that’s called a…

 

ENSEMBLE

Veto!

 

GEORGE

If the President…

 

ENSEMBLE

Vetoes!

 

GEORGE

…me, then I have to go back to the Congress and they vote on me again.  But by that time…

 

TOM

By that time it’s very unlikely that you’ll become a law.  It’s not easy to become a law is it?

 

GEORGE

No, it isn’t…

 

BUT HOW I HOPE AND

PRAY THAT I WILL,

BUT TODAY, I AM STILL JUST A BILL.

 

DORI

Bill signed ya, Bill.  Now you’re a law!

 

GEORGE

OH, YEAH!

 

 

 

TOM

That was one of my favorite ones!  I’ve forgotten how much I learned on Saturday mornings between bowls of Cocoa Puffs.  We learned about the government, we learned about the history of law making in the United States, we learned about the Constitution…

 

SHULIE

Don’t forget, Tom… It was a Schoolhouse Rock song that helped us pass Mr. Down’s Constitution exam…

 

TOM

That’s right! An entire classroom full of people saying…

 

#9 – The Preamble (Dori, Company)

 

DORI, DINA

HEY, DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE U.S.A?

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT?

CAN YOU TELL ME ‘BOUT THE CONSTITUTION?

HEY, LEARN ABOUT THE U.S.A.!

 

DORI

IN 1787, I’M TOLD

OUR FOUNDING FATHERS DID AGREE

 

TO WRITE A LIST OF PRINCIPLES

FOR KEEPIN’ PEOPLE FREE.

 

THE U.S.A. WAS JUST STARTING OUT,

A WHOLE BRAND NEW COUNTRY,

AND SO OUR PEOPLE SPELLED IT OUT,

THE THINGS THAT WE SHOULD BE.

 

And they put those principles down on paper and called it the Constitution. And it has been helping us run our country ever since then. The first part of the Constitution is called the “Preamble” and tells what those founding fathers set out to do.

 

ALL

WE THE PEOPLE

IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION,

ESTABLISH JUSTICE, INSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILLITY

PROVIDE FOR THE COMMON DEFENSE

PROMOTE THE GENERAL WELFARE AND

SECURE THE BLESSINGS OF LIBERTY

TO OURSELVES AND OUR POSTERITY

DO ORDAIN AND ESTABLISH

THIS CONSTITUTION

FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

 

DORI

IN 1787, I’M TOLD,

OUR FOUNDING FATHERS ALL SAT DOWN

AND WROTE A LIST OF PRINCIPLES

THAT’S KNOWN THE WORLD AROUND

 

THE U.S.A. WAS JUST STARTING OUT,

A WHOLE BRAND NEW COUNTRY,

AND SO OUR PEOPLE SPELLED IT OUT:

THEY WANTED A LAND OF LIBERTY.

 

GEORGE

But Dori, how does the Preamble go?

 

DORI

I’m glad ya asked, George.

 

ALL

WE THE PEOPLE

IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION,

ESTABLISH JUSTICE, INSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILLITY

PROVIDE FOR THE COMMON DEFENSE

PROMOTE THE GENERAL WELFARE AND

SECURE THE BLESSINGS OF LIBERTY

TO OURSELVES AND OUR POSTERITY

DO ORDAIN AND ESTABLISH

THIS CONSTITUTION

FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

 

TOM

You know, in all my years of serious training to be a teacher, they forgot one important thing..

 

ALL

What?.... What Tom? Etc…

 

TOM

That learning should be fun… It should be like a game.

 

JOE

You’re right, Tom, you’re right! And I know a really good one!

 

#10

CUT

 

#11 Do the Circulation (Company)

 

WOMEN

THERE’S A GREAT NEW CRAZE

THAT’S SWEEPIN’ THE NATION,

COME ON --- DO THE CIRCULATION.

 

DINA

IT STARTS WITH YOUR HEART.

WHAT A GREAT SENSATION!

 

WOMEN

COME ON --- DO THE CIRCULATION

 

DORI

OUT THROUGH YOUR ARTERIES,

IN THROUGH YOUR VEINS,

YOUR HEART PUMPS THE BLOOD,

THEN IT DOES IT AGAIN.

 

WOMEN

SO COME ON, EVERYBODY,

EXERCISE YOUR BODY

FOR CIRCULATION!

 

SO COME ON, EVERYBODY,

EXERCISE YOUR BODY

FOR CIRCULATION!

 

CIRCULATION ---

EVERYBODY FORM A CIRCLE NOW.

UH HUH.

 

CIRCULATION---

 

LIKE YOUR BLOOD,

YOU JUST START MOVIN’ AROUND.

 

CIRCULATION:

IT’S A FUNCTION THAT’S SO OUT OF SIGHT.

AND IF YOUR FEET FALL ASLEEP,

THEN YOU’RE NOT CIRCULATIN’ RIGHT.

 

DORI

YOU GOT FOUR HEART PARTS

TO PUMP THE BLOOD

 

ALL

LUB-DUB!

 

WOMEN

YEAH, THAT’S CIRCULATION.

 

DINA

LEFT AND RIGHT VENTRICLE,

LEFT AND RIGHT ATRIUM….

 

WOMEN

YEAH, THEY DO IT, THEY CIRCULATE.

 

SHULIE

THEY PUMP BLOOD THROUGH YOUR LUNGS

FOR OXYGEN,

AND THEN YOUR ARTERIES TAKE IT

THROUGH TO YOUR BODY…

 

WOMEN

AND YOUR VEINS BRING THE OLD BLOOD

BACK TO BE RENEWED.

 

CIRCULATION!

 

SHULIE

TAKES NUTRITION TO YOUR CELLS

 

TOM

Come on over!

 

WOMEN

AND GETS RID OF…

 

DORI

…CARBON DIOXIDE AND WASTE AS WELL

 

WOMEN

CIRCULATION:

 

DINA

IT’S A FUNCTION THAT’S SO OUT OF SIGHT.

 

WOMEN

AND IF YOUR HANDS ARE COLD,

THEN YOU’RE NOT CIRCULATIN’ RIGHT.

 

WELL, YOUR BLOOD IS SUCH A LIFE GIVIN’ POTION

LIKE A RIVER, IT’S ALWAYS IN MOTION,

FROM YOUR HEAD TO YOUR TOES,

DOIN’ GOOD AS IT GOES,

IT’S A BIG, RED, BEAUTIFUL OCEAN.

 

DINA

NOW THE BLOOD’S NOT BAD,

IT’S KINDA SPECIAL…

 

WOMEN

YEAH, COME DIG IT!

CIRCULATE!

 

DORI

WITH THESE RED AND WHITE CORPUSCLE CELLS…

 

WOMEN

YEAH, COME DO IT,

CIRCULATE!

 

SHULIE

RED CELLS CARRY OXYGEN,

WHITE CELLS FIGHT THE GERMS.

 

WOMEN

SO COME ON, COME DO IT,

YEAH, COME DO IT,

CIRCULATION!

SO COME ON, COME DO IT,

WITH YOUR HEART,

COME DO IT.

CIRCULATION!

 

CIRCULATION---

 

LIKE YOUR BLOOD,

YOU JUST START MOVIN’ AROUND

CIRCULATION:

 

IT’S A FUNCTION THAT’S SO OUT OF SIGHT.

SO COME ON, MOVE AROUND

AND YOU’LL BE CIRCULATION’ RIGHT!

 

THERE’S A GREAT NEW CRAZE

THAT’S SWEEIN’ THE NATION.

COME ON—DO THE CIRCULATION.

IT STARTS WITH YOUR HEART.

WHAT A GREAT SENSATION!

YEAH, COME DO IT, CIRCULATE!

OUT THROUGH YOUR ARTERIES,

IN THROUGH YOUR VEINS,

YOUR HEART PUMPS THE BLOOD,

THEN IT DOES IT AGAIN,

 

SO COME ON, EVERYBODY,

GET IT ON, EVERYBODY---

CIRCULATION!

SO COME ON, EVERYBODY,

GET IT ON, EVERYBODY---

CIRCULATION!

THE CIRCULATION!

 

JOE

Criminy, George, that one just plum wore me out. I’m gonna go get some breakfast!

 

GEORGE

You know what, Joe?

 

They were all such crowd pleasers, that they can just take over. I’m gonna go get some breakfast, too!

 

DORI

Me, too!

 

DINA, SHULIE

We’ll all eat!

 

JOE

Wait a minute. I’m gonna do a song now and I’m going to need some help.

 

DORI

Who do you need…?

 

Me!

 

 

JOE

No. I need him

 

and her.

 

SHULIE, TOM

Us?

 

JOE

Yeah… you!

 

TOM

You asked for it.

 

SHULIE

Right on!

 

DINA

Do you realize how many pronouns you just used?

 

JOE

Yep! And I’m gonna use some more!

 

#12 Rufus Xavier Sarsapilla (Joe)

 

JOE

NOW, I HAVE A FRIEND NAMED

RUFUS XAVIER SARSAPILLA,

AND I COULD SAY THAT

 

RUFUS FOUND A KANGAROO

THAT FOLLOWED RUFUS HOME

AND NOW THAT KANGAROO

BELONGS TO RUFUS XAVIER SARSAPILLA

WHEW!

 

I COULD SAY THAT, BUT I DON’T HAVE TO,

‘CAUSE I’VE GOT PRONOUNS

I CAN SAY—

 

HE FOUND A KANGAROO

THAT FOLLOWED HIM HOME

AND NOW IT IS HIS.

YOU SEE-UH,

“HE”, “HIM” AND “HIS” ARE PRONOUNS

REPLACING THE NOUN

“RUFUS XAVIER SARSAPILLA”

(A VERY PROPER NOUN),

AND “IT” IS A PRONOUN

REPLACING THE KANGAROO

 

NOW, RUFUS HAS A SISTER

NAMED RAFAELLA GABRIELLA SARSAPARILLA

IF SHE FOUND A KANGAROO

I COULD SAY TO YOU:

SHE FOUND A KANGAROO

THAT FOLLOWED HER HOME AND NOW IT IS HERS,

BUT I CAN’T SAY THAT…

 

‘CAUSE SHE FOUND AN AARDVARK

THAT FELL IN LOVE WITH HER

AND THEY’RE SO HAPPY

 

NOW, MY NAME’S ALBERT ANDREAS ARMADILLO,

NO RELATION TO THE SARSAPARILLAS.

BECAUSE OF PRONOUNS, I CAN SAY.

 

“I WISH SHE WOULD FIND

A RHINOCEROS FOR ME,

AND WE’D BE HAPPY.”

YOU SEE, A

 

PRONOUN WAS MADE

TO TAKE THE PLACE OF A NOUN,

‘CAUSE SAYIN’ ALL THOSE NOUNS OVER AND OVER

CAN REALLY WEAR YOU DOWN!

 

NOW, I COULD TELL YOU RAFAELLA GABRIELLA

AND RUFUS XAVIER SARSAPILLA AND

ALBERT ANDREAS ARMADILLO

FOUND AN AARDVARK, A KANGAROO, AND A RHINOCEROS,

AND NOT THAT AARDVARK, THAT KANGAROO, AND THAT RHINOCEROS

BELONG RESPECTIVELY TO

RAFAELLA GABRIELLA SARSAPELLA

AND RUFUS XAVIER SARSAPILLA

AND ALBERT ANDREAS ARMADILLO.

WHEW!

BECAUSE OF PRONOUNS, I CAN SAY

IN THIS WAY,

 

“WE FOUND THEM AND THEY FOUND US

AND NOW THEY ARE OURS

AND WE’RE SO HAPPY.”

THANK YOU PRONOUNS!

 

YOU SEE, A PRONOUN WAS MADE

TO TAKE THE PLACE OF A NOUN.

‘CAUSE SAYIN’ ALL THOSE ONUNS OVER AND OVER

CAN REALLY WEAR YOU DOWN!

 

One more verse!

 

SOMETIMES WHEN WE TAKE THEM ALL ON THE BUS,

PEOPLE REALLY RAISE A FUSS.

THEY START SHOUTIN’ OUT A LOT OF PRONOUNS AT US LIKE:

WHO BROUGHT THAT RHINOCEROS ON THE BUS?”

AND…

WHAT MADE THAT HORRIBLE NOISE?”

AND…

WHICH ONE OF ‘EM’S GETTIN’ OFF FIRST?”

WHO, WANT, AND WHICH ARE SPECIAL PRONOUNS

THAT CAN ASK A QUESTION IN A SENTENCE

WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW THE NAME OF THE NOUN

BUT I KNOW I HAVE MINE

 

AND SHE HAS HERS

 

HE HAS HIS---

 

DO YOU HAVE YOURS?

THEY LOVE US AND WE LOVE THEM

WHAT’S OURS IS THEIRS

THAT’S HOW IT IS WITH FRIENDS.

AND PRONOUNS, YOU ARE REALLY FRIENDS…

YEAH…

‘CAUSE SAYIN’ ALL THOSE NOUNS OVER AND OVER

CAN REALLY WEAR YOU DOWN!

 

TOM

Dori, honey, what are you doing with that thing?

 

DORI

I don’t know… I don’t know.

 

SHULIE

Hand it over slowly…

Tom, during that last song, I asked Dori if she would go through your personal things and see if you had musical instruments… and you did!

 

TOM

You know how to play that thing?

 

SHULIE

Oh… on a scale of one to ten, I’d give myself about an eight.

           

Get it!?

 

#13 – Figure Eight (Shulie)

 

FIGURE EIGHT AS DOUBLE FOUR,

FIGURE FOUR AS HALF OF EIGHT;

IF YOU SKATE, YOU WOULD BE GREAT,

IF YOU COULD MAKE A FIGURE EIGHT.

THAT’S A CIRCLE THAT TURNS ‘ROUND UPON ITSELF.

 

ONE TIMES EIGHT IS TWO TIMES FOUR,

FOUR TIMES FOUR IS TWO TIMES EIGHT.

IF YOU SKATE UPON THIN ICE,

YOU’D BE WISE IF YOU THOUGHT TWICE

BEFORE YOU MADE ANOTHER SINGLE MOVE!

 

ONE TIMES EIGHT IS EIGHT.

 

TWO TIMES EIGHT IS SIXTEEN,

 

THREE TIMES EIGHT IS TWENTY FOUR,

 

FOUR TIMES EIGHT IS THIRTY-TWO,

 

AND FIVE TIMES EIGHT IS FORTY, YOU KNOW.

 

SIX TIMES EIGHT IS FORTY-EIGHT.

 

SEVEN TIMES EIGHT IS FIFTY-SIX,

 

EIGHT TIMES EIGHT IS SIXTY-FOUR,

 

NINE TIMES EIGHT IS SEVENTY-TWO,

 

AND TEN TIMES EIGHT IS EIGHTY, THAT’S TRUE.

 

ELEVEN TIMES EIGHT IS ERIGHTY-EIGHT,

 

AND TWELVE TIMES EIGHT IS NINETY-SIX.

 

NOW HERE’S A CHANCE TO GET OFF

ON YOUR NEW MATH TRICKS,

‘CAUSE TWELVE TIMES EIGHT

IS THE SAME AS TEN TIMES EIGHT

PLUST TWO TIMES EIGHT.

EIGHTY PLUST SIXTEEN…NINETY SIX!

 

ONE TIMES EIGHT IS EIGHT.

 

TWO TIMES EIGHT IS SIXTEEN,

 

THREE TIMES EIGHT IS TWENTY-FOUR,

 

FOUR TIMES EIGHT IS THIRTY-TWO,

 

AND FIVE TIMESEIGHTIS FORTY, YOU KNOW.

 

FIGURE EIGHT AS DOUBLE FOUR,

FIGURE FOUR AS HALF OF EIGHT;

IF YOU SKATE, YOU WOULD BE GREAT,

IF YOU COULD MAKE A FIGURE EIGHT.

 

THAT’S A CIRCLE THAT TURNS ‘ROUND UPON ITSELF.

PLACE IT ON ITS SIDE AND IT’S A SYMBOL MEANING…

INFINITY.

 

TOM

Shulie, you play very vell.  That was a very pretty song.

 

SHULIE

Thank you, Tom.  You know, that’s how I learned my eight multiplication tables.  Now I’m multiplication BONKO!

 

GEORGE

You see, Tom, if multiplication can excite little Shulie here, your students will feel the same way.

 

SHULIE

Go, math!

 

JOE

Sounds like lots of apples for the teacher.

 

DINA

You can grow your own apple orchard.

 

TOM

Yeah. I can see myself out back, sitting under an apple tree, reading a good physics book…

 

#14 – A Victim Of Gravity (George, Company)

 

DINA, DORI, GEORGE, TOM

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, GRAVITY!

 

GEORGE                                                                                    DINA, DORI, TOM

HELPIN’ WASH THE DISHES                                                DOWN.

AND I DROP A CUH-UP.

 

WHY DOES EVERYTHING                                                            BOOM.

FALL DOWN

                                                                                                OOH!

INSTEAD OF UH-UP?

RUNNIN’ UP A HILL I SPILL                                                            RUNNIN’ UP A HILL I SPILL

                                                                                                OH,

AND HIT THE

GROUND.                                                                                    GROUND.

 

GEORGE, DINA, DORI, TOM

WISH I COULD FALL UP

INSTEAD OF ALWAYS FALLING DOWN.

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

DOWN, DE-DOWN, DOWN, DOWN…

 

GEORGE

I’M A VICTIM OF GRAVITY.

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

OH, YEAH.

 

GEORGE

EVERYTHING KEEPS FALLIN’

DOWN ON ME.

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.

 

GEORGE

NO MATTER WHERE I GO,

THAT FORCE IS THERE, I KNOW…

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

JUST A-PULLIN’ ME

 

GEORGE, DINA, DORI, TOM

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN –

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

IT’S ALL AROUND TOWN NOW.

 

GEORGE

IT’S LIKE A MAGNET

DEEP INSIDE THE GROUND.

WHEN I LIFT SOMETHING UP,

 

I CAN FEEL IT PULLING DOWN.

 

JOE

IT PULLS ME IN THE POOL.

IT PULLS RAIN DOWN ON ME.

 

GEORGE, DINA, DORI, TOM

I’M A VICTIM OF

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN,

GRAVITY, YEAH.

 

GEORGE                                                                                    DINA, DORI, TOM

GALILEO,                                                                                    GALILEO, GALILEO,

GALILEO GALI-                                                                       

LEI –                                                                                                GALILEI, YEAH!

 

HE DID EXPERIMENTS                                                            GALILEO, GALILEO,

WITH A FORCE

HE COULDN’T SEE.

                                                                                                COULD NOT SEE, YEAH!

 

HE FOUND THAT                                                                        GALILEO, GALILEO,

ALL THINGS FALL TO                                                            GALILEO…

            EARTH

AT THE VERY SAME

            SPEED                                                                                    VERY SAME SPEED,

                                                                                                YEAH!

 

GEORGE

HE DIDN’T KNOW IT YET,

BUT THAT WAS DUE TO GRAVITY.

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

DOWN, DOWN –

 

TOM

THE MOON GOES ‘ROUND THE EARTH

AND SHINES ITS SILVER LIGHT.

THE EARTH GOES ‘ROUND THE SUN

AND MAKES THE SEASONS RIGHT.

IT ISN’T LOVE THAT MAKES THE WORLD

GO ‘ROUND, YOU SEE,

 

TOM, DINA, DORI

IT’S THE POWER OF GRAVITY –

 

TOM

BUT PLEASE…

 

GEORGE

DON’T TELL MARY JEAN!

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

DOWN, DE-DOWN, DOWN, DOWN…

 

TOM

WITHOUT EARTH’S GRAVITY

TO KEEP US IN OUR PLACE,

 

WE’D HAVE NO WEIGHT AT ALL.

WE’D BE IN OUTER SPACE.

 

GEORGE

THE SEA WOULD FLOAT AWAY,

AND SO WOULD FIELDS AND TOWNS,

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, YEAH.

SIR ISAAC NEWTON –

 

GEORGE

UNDERNEATH THE APPLE TREE.

 

DINA, DORI, TOM

APPLE TREE, YEAH!

 

GEORGE

ONE HIT HIM ON THE HEAD.

HE SAID,

“THAT MUST BE GRAVITY.”

 

TOM

Newton’s law of gravity says that every object in the universe pulls on every other object.

 

The bigger the object,

 

the stronger the pull.

 

But the greater the distance between the objects,

 

The weaker the pull becomes.

 

“Come back, Mary Jean!”

 

GEORGE

DON’T CALL ME CLUMSY,

DON’T CALL ME A FOOL.

WHEN THINGS FALL DOWN ON ME,

I’M FOLLOWING THE RULE –

THE RULE THAT SAYS THAT

WHAT GOES UP COMES DOWN,

LIKE ME!

 

GEORGE, DINA, DORI, TOM

I’M A VICTIM OF

 

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, GRAVITY!

 

SHOO-BE-DOO, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.

 

SHULIE

Hey, you guys, isn’t anybody going to pick me up successfully?

 

GEORGE

Oh, I’ll get you, Shulie.

 

SHULIE

Thanks, George.  You’re me hero.  And there aren’t a lot of those these days.

 

GEORGE

Zero…

 

SHULIE

Tell me about it.

 

GEORGE

No, I mean Zero.  Zero is my hero.

 

SHULIE

Zero? How can Zero be a hero?

 

GEORGE

Well…

 

#15 – Zero, My Hero  (George, Shulie)

CUT

 

 

TOM

Let’s see.  We’ve done adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, nouns and verbs.  Now, what am I forgetting?

 

JOE

But, how are you going to tie all of those things together?

 

TOM

I don’t know…Or, do we have to?

 

JOE

Sure you do, Tom.  And, I’m going to give you a big hint – you’re on the right…track.

 

TOM

Conjunctions.

 

JOE

That’s right, Tom.  And where do those parts of speech come together?

 

TOM

At the Junction!

 

 

#16 ¾ Conjunction Junction (Joe, Dina, Dori, Shulie)

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

HOOKIN’ UP WORDS

AND PHRASES AND CLAUSES.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

HOW’S THAT FUNCTION?

 

JOE

I GOT THREE FAVORITE CARS

THAT GET MOST OF MY JOB DONE.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S THEIR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

I GOT “AND”, “BUT” ‘N’ “OR”,

THEY’LL TAKE YOU PRETTY FAR.

 

“And” … that’s an additive. Like this and that.

“But” … that’s sort of the opposite. Not this but that.

And then there’s “Or” … o-r.

When you have a choice like this or that.

“And”, “But” and “Or” get you pretty far.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

HOOKIN’ UP TWO BOXCARS

AND MAKIN’ ‘EM RUN RIGHT.

“MILK AND HONEY”,

 

“BREAD AND BUTTER”

“PEAS AND RICE”…

 

WOMEN

HEY, THAT’S NICE!

 

JOE

“DIRTY BUT HAPPY”,

“DIGGIN’ AND SCRATCHIN’”,

“LOSIN’ YOUR SHOE

AND A BUTTON OR TWO”.

“HE WAS POOR BUT HONEST,”

“SAD, BUT TRUE!”

OOH, BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

HOOKIN’ UP TWO CARS TO ONE

WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHIN’ LIKE THIS CHOICE:

“EITHER NOW OR LATER”;

OR NO CHOICE:

“NEITHER NOW NOR EVER”!

 

WOMEN

HEY THAT’S CLEVER!

 

JOE

“EAT THIS OR THAT”,

“GROW THIN OR FAT” –

NEVER MIND I WOULDN’T DO THAT.

I DON’T WANNA GET FAT.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

HOOKIN’ UP PHRASES

AND CLAUSES THAT BALANCE, LIKE:

“OUT OF THE FRYIN’ PAN AND INTO THE FIRE.”

“HE CUT LOOSE THE SANDBAGS,

 

BUT THE BALLOON WOULDN’T GO ANY HIGHER.”

“LET’S GO UP TO THE MOUNTAINS

OR DOWN TO THE SEA.”

“YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SAY ‘THANK YOU,’

OR AT LEAST SAY ‘PLEASE.’”

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

I’M HOOKIN’ UP WORDS

AND PHRASES AND CLAUSES

IN COMPLEX SENTENCES LIKE:

 

“In the mornings when I’m usually wide awake,

I love to take a walk through the gardens and down by the lake,

Where I often see a duck and drake;

And I wonder as I walk by just what they’d say if they could speak…

 

ALTHOUGH I KNOW THAT’S AN ABSURD THOUGHT.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

HOOKIN’ UP CARS

AND MAKIN’ ‘EM FUNCTION.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

HOW’S THAT FUNCTION?

 

JOE

I LIKE TYIN’ UP WORDS

AND PHRASES AND CLAUSES.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WATCH THAT FUNCTION.

 

JOE

I’M GONNA GET YOU THERE,

IF YOU’RE VERY CAREFUL.

 

WOMEN

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION,

WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION?

 

JOE

I’M GONNA GET YOU THERE  -

 

OH YEAH!

 

TOM

After that song, I think I’m ready to teach me some English.

 

JOE

Good, Tom, good.

(Noticing the grammatical error.)

But don’t forget that English isn’t the first language of many of your students.

 

TOM

That’s true. I have a lot of students from other countries and cultures. I am going to be very important in their transition to America.

 

JOE

That’s right! But that is what’s so exciting. You have as much to learn from them as they have to learn from you. That’s one of the great things about growing up in the United States.

 

#17 – Great American Melting Pot (Dori, Shulie, Dina)

 

DORI

MY GRANDMOTHER CAME FROM RUSSIA,

A SATCHEL ON HER KNEE.

MY GRANDFATHER WORE HIS FATHER’S CAP

HE BROUGHT FROM ITALY.

THEY’D HEARD ABOUT A COUNTRY

WHERE LIFE MIGHT LET THEM WIN.

THEY PAID THE FARE TO AMERICA

AND THERE, THEY MELTED IN.

 

WOMEN

LOVELY LADY LIBERTY

WITH HER BOOK OR RECIPES –

AND THE FINEST ONE SHE’S GOT

IS THE GREAT AMERICAN MELTING POT,

THE GREAT AMERICAN MELTING POT.

 

SHULIE

AMERICA WAS FOUNDED BY THE ENGLISH

BUT ALSO BY THE SPANISH, DUTCH, AND FRENCH.

THE PRINCIPLE STILL STICKS:

OR HERITAGE IS MIXED,

SO ANY KID

CAN BE THE PRESIDENT.

 

WOMEN

YOU SIMPLY…

MELT RIGHT IN.

IT DOESN’T MATTER…

WHAT YOUR SKIN.

IT DOESN’T MATTER

WHERE YOU’RE FROM

OR YOUR RELIGION, YOU JUMP RIGHT IN –

TO THE GREAT AMERICAN

MELTING POT –

THE GREAT AMERICAN

MELTING POT.

OOO, WHAT A STEW:

RED, WHITE, AND BLUE!

 

DINA

AMERICA WAS THE NEW WORLD

AND EUROPE WAS THE OLD.

AMERICA WAS THE LAND OF HOPE,

OR SO THE LEGEND TOLD.

ON STEAM BOATS BY THE MILLIONS,

IN SEARCH OF HONEST PAY,

THOSE NINETEENTH CENTURY IMMIGRANTS

SAILED TO REACH THE U.S.A.

 

WOMEN

LOVELY LADY LIBERTY

 

WITH HER BOOK OR RECIPES –

AND THE FINEST ONE SHE’S GOT

 

DINA

Freedom!

 

WOMEN

IS THE GREAT AMERICAN

MELTING POT

THE GREAT AMERICAN MELTING POT.

WHAT GOOD INGREDIENTS,

LIBERTY AND IMMIGRANTS.

 

SHULIE

THEY BROUGHT THEIR COUNTRY’S CUSTOMS,

THEIR LANGUAGE AND THEIR WAYS.

THEY FILLED THE FACTORIES,

TILLED THE SOIL, HELPED BUILD THE U.S.A.

 

GO ON AND ASK YOUR GRANDMA,

HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO TELL:

HOW GREAT TO BE AMERICAN

AND SOMETHING ELSE AS WELL.

 

WOMEN

LOVELY LADY LIBERTY

WITH HER BOOK OF RECIPES –

AND THE FINEST ONE SHE’S GOT…

IS THE GREAT AMERICAN MELTING POT,

IS THE GREAT AMERICAN MELTING POT,

IS THE GREAT AMERICAN

 

MELTING POT.

 

TOM

Dina, it wasn’t as easy as you make it look, creating America. Our country didn’t always reach from sea to shining sea.

 

DINA

That is true. We certainly had our share of growing pains.

 

DORI

Oy, oy, oy!

 

#18 – Elbow Room (Dori, Company)

CUT

 

#19 – Interplanet Janet (Shulie, Company)

 

SHULIE

THEY SAY OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

IS CENTERED ‘ROUND THE SUN,

NINE PLANETS, LARGE AND SMALL, PARADING BY.

BUT SOMEWHERE OUT IN SPACE,

THERE’S ANOTHER SHINING FACE

THAT YOU MIGHT SEE SOME NIGHT, UP IN THE SKY,

WAVING “HI!”

ALL

OOH –

 

INTERPLANET JANET,

SHE’S A GALAXY GIRL,

A SOLAR SYSTEM MS.

FROM A FUTURE WORLD.

 

SHULIE

SHE

 

 

ALL

TRAVELS LIKE A ROCKET

WITH HER COMET TEAM.

 

SHULIE

AND THERE’S

 

ALL

NEVER BEEN A PLANET

JANET HASN’T SEEN.

 

SHULIE

SHE’S BEEN TO THE SUN –

IT’S A LOT OF FUN!

 

DINA

HI!

 

SHULIE

IT’S A HOT SPOT, IT’S A GAS,

 

DINA

I’M THE SUN!

 

SHULIE

HYDROGEN AND HELIUM

IN A BIG, BRIGHT, GLOWING MASS.

IT’S A STAR,

 

ALL

OOOOWEEEEE

 

SHULIE

IT’S A STAR

 

ALL

OOOOWEEEEE

 

SHULIE

SO JANET GOT AN

 

ALL

…AUTOGRAPH.

 

ALL EXCEPT SHULIE

UH HUH.

 

SHULIE

MERCURY WAS NEAR THE SUN,

SO JANET STOPPED BY.

BUT THE MERCURY ON MERCURY

WAS MUCH TOO HIGH

SO…

JANET SPLIT FOR VENUS

BUT ON VENUS SHE FOUND

SHE COULDN’T SEE A THING

FOR ALL THE CLOUDS AROUND.

EARTH LOOKED EXCITING,

KIND OF GREEN AND INVITING,

SO JANET THOUGHT SHE’D GIVE IT A GO.

BUT THE CREATURES ON THAT PLANET

LOOKED SO VERY WEIRD TO JANET,

SHE DIDN’T EVEN DARE TO SAY “HELLO.”

 

IT’S A BIRD!

 

ALL

OOOOWEEEEE

 

SHULIE

IT’S A PLANE!

 

ALL

OOOOWEEEEE

 

SHULIE

WHY, IT MUST BE A…

 

ALL

…U.F.O.!

IT WAS -

 

INTERPLANET JANET,

SHE’S A GALAXY GIRL,

A SOLAR SYSTEM MS.

FROM A FUTURE WORLD.

 

SHULIE

SHE

 

ALL

TRAVELS LIKE A ROCKET

WITH HER COMET TEAM.

 

SHULIE

AND THERE’S

 

ALL

NEVER BEEN A PLANET

JANET HASN’T SEEN.

 

SHULIE

NO, THERE’S

 

ALL

NEVER BEEN A PLANET

JANET HASN’T SEEN.

 

SHULIE

MARS IS RED

AND JUPITER’S BIG

AND SATURN SHOWS OFF ITS RINGS.

URANUS IS BUILT

ON A FUNNY TILT

AND NEPTUNE IS ITS TWIN.

AND  PLUTO, LITTLE PLUTO,

IS THE FARTHEST PLANET FROM OUR SUN.

 

(THEY try to continue but the band stops playing.  The all come to a stop and turn around.)

 

All (Ad libbing)

What happened?  What’s the matter?  What’s going on, etc.

 

ISAAC (Music Director)

 

I’m sorry but Pluto was decommissioned as a planet.  We’re not telling the kids true science.

 

ALL (Ad libbing)

What?  When did that happen…?  Who said?

 

ISAAC

Hey don’t yell at me! In 1992 Pluto got dumped into a category of other objects called the Kuiper Belt.  So Pluto got decommissioned as a planet in 2006 by the International Astronomical Union.

 

DINA

But it’s been a planet since 1930!

JOE

Yeah!

 

ISAAC

Not anymore.

 

SHULIE

Well how do you think Pluto feels about it?

 

(ALL turn and look at PLUTO – while this is going on the actor holding Pluto hides it and pulls out a deflated planet)

 

TOM

He‘s looking a little deflated…

 

SHULIE

Well, I don’t think it is fair!  In fact, if they can unmake it maybe we can change it back to a planet for our show!  I think the audience should vote on it!

 

GEORGE

Yeah, I think they should vote!

 

(THEY all move down to the front of the stage.)

 

GEORGE (to audience)

Okay,  everyone who wants Pluto to be a planet for the rest of our show please raise your hands.  (THEY all pretend to count)

 

(if the audience votes yes then the actor holding the deflated Pluto blows it back up – this one is a little larger with a P on it.  If the audience votes no, then the actor dejectedly crosses to proscenium and chucks the planet off stage.)

 

ALL

OOOOOOO…..

 

SHULIE

Maestro!  One more time.  They say our solar system is not alone in space. The universe has endless mystery.

 

SOME FUTURE ASTRONAUT

MAY FIND OUR WHAT SHE THOUGH

A SHOOTING STAR INSTEAD TURNED OUT TO BE

 

ALL EXCEPT SHULIE

WEEEEEEE

 

ALL

INTERPLANET JANET,

SHE’S A GALAXY GIRL,

A SOLAR SYSTEM MS.

FROM A FUTURE WORLD.

SHE TRAVELS LIKE A ROCKET

WITH HER COMET TEAM.

AND THERE’S NEVER BEEN A PLANET

JANET HASN’T SEEN.

NO, THERE’S NEVER BEEN A PLANET

JANET…

 


ALL

INTERPLANET JANET,

INTERPLANET JANET,

INTERPLANET JANET,

INTERPLANET –

SEEN!

 

INTERPLANET JANET,

INTERPLANET JANET,

INTERPLANET JANET,

 

 

 

SHULIE

HAS-

N’T

SEEN,

 

 

 

HAS-

N’T –

 

 

 


ALL

HASN’T SEEN!

 

SHULIE

Heavens to Mergatroid! Do I wanna be an astronaut now!

 

JOE

Gee! Shulie, that’s ambitious.

 

DORI

Shucks! I wanted to be Mercury.

 

GEORGE

Wow! You’re nuts!

 

DINA

Hey! Those all sound like interjections to me!

 

 

 

#20 – Interjections (Dina, Company)

 

REGINALD WAS HOME WITH THE FLU –

UH HUH.

THE DOCTOR KNEW JUST WHAT TO DO.

SHE CURED THE INFECTION

WITH ONE SMALL INJECTION

WHILE REGINALD UTTERED SOME

 

ALL

INTERJECTIONS!

 

GEORGE

Hey! That smarts!

Ouch! That hurts!

Yow! That’s not fair givin’ a guy a shot down there!

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, DORI

INTERJECTIONS

 

GEORGE

HEY!

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, DORI

SHOW EXCITEMENT

 

GEORGE

OUCH!

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, DORI

OR EMOTION.

 

GEORGE

YOW!

 

DINA

THEY’RE GENERALLY SET APART FROM A SENTENCE

BY AN EXCLAMATION POINT,

OR BY A COMMA WHEN THE FEELING’S NOT AS STRONG.

HMMMM.

THOUGH GERALDINE PLAYED HARD TO GET –

UH HUH –

GERALDO KNEW HE’D WOO HER YET.

HE SHOWED HIS AFFECTION,

DESPITE HER OBJECTION,

AND GERALDINE HOLLERED SOME

 

ALL

INTERJECTIONS!

 

SHULIE

Well! You’ve got some nerve!

Oh! I’ve never been so insulted in all my life!

Hey! You’re kinda cute!

 

ALL EXCEPT SHULIE, JOE

INTERJECTIONS

 

SHULIE

WELL!

 

ALL EXCEPT SHULIE, JOE

SHOW EXCITEMENT

 

SHULIE

OH!

 

ALL EXCEPT SHULIE, JOE

OR EMOTION.

 

SHULIE

HEY!

 

DINA

THEY’RE GENERALLY SET APART FROM A SENTENCE

BY AN EXCLAMATION POINT,

OR BY A COMMA WHEN THE FEELING’S NOT AS STRONG.

SO WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY…

 

ALL EXCEPT DINA

HOORAY!

 

DINA

OR SAD…

 

GEORGE

AW!

 

DINA

OR FRIGHTENED…

 

 

DORI

EEEK!

 

DINA

OR MAD…

 

JOE

RATS!

 

DINA

OR EXCITED…

 

SHULIE

WOW!

 

DINA

OR GLAD…

 

TOM

HEY!

 

DINA

AN INTERJECTION STARTS A SENTENCE RIGHT!

 

THE GAME WAS TIED AT SEVEN ALL –

UH HUH –

WHEN FRANKLIN FOUND HE HAD THE –

 -BALL.

HE MADE THE CONNECTION –

 

SHULIE

Yoo hoo!

 

DINA

IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

 

THE CROWD STARTED SHOUTIN’ OUT

 

ALL

INTERJECTIONS!

 

JOE

Aw! You threw the wrong way!

 

GEORGE

Darn! You just lost the game!

 

SHULIE

Hooray! I’m for the other team!

 

ALL EXCEPT JOE

INTERJECTIONS

 

JOE

AW!

 

ALL EXCEPT JOE, GEORGE

SHOW EXCITEMENT

 

GEORGE

DARN!

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, SHULIE

OR EMOTION.

 

SHULIE

HOORAY!

 

DINA

THEY’RE GENERALLY SET APART FROM A SENTENCE

BY AN EXCLAMATION POINT,

OR BY A COMMA WHEN THE FEELING’S NOT AS STRONG.

SO WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY…

 

ALL EXCEPT DINA

HOORAY!

 

DINA

OR SAD…

 

GEORGE

AW!

 

DINA

OR FRIGHTENED…

 

DORI

EEEK!

 

DINA

OR MAD…

 

JOE

RATS!

 

DINA

OR EXCITED…

 

SHULIE

WOW!

 

DINA

OR GLAD…

 

TOM

HEY!

 

DINA

AN INTERJECTION STARTS A SENTENCE RIGHT!

INTERJECTIONS

 

GEORGE

HEY!

 

DINA

SHOW EXCITEMENT

 

TOM

HEY!

 

DINA

OR EMOTION.

 

SHULIE

HEY!

 

DINA

THEY’RE GENERALLY SET APART FROM A SENTENCE

BY AN EXCLAMATION POINT,

OR BY A COMMA WHEN THE FEELING’S NOT AS STRONG.

 

ALL

INTERJECTIONS

SHOW EXCITEMENT

OR EMOTION,

HALLELUJAH!

HALLELUJAH!

HALLELUJAH –

YEAH!

 

SHULIE

Darn! That’s the end.

 

TOM

No, no, there are so many songs we still haven’t done yet. Like…

           

            ELECTRICITY, E – LECTRICITY!

 

GEORGE

Hey, Tom, buddy… that really is the end, we’ve been here long enough. You’ve got a big day ahead of you. So – give me the rat.

 

Say “good luck” to Tom.

 

DORI

Good luck, big guy! Ah cha cha cha cha!

 

JOE

Don’t let the big metal detector scare you!

 

SHULIE

Hey, Tom, remember: even though paste looks like marshmallow fluff – it doesn’t taste like it. Believe me; I know.

 

DINA

Here, Tom. We got you this tie so that we will always be with you. You’re going to make a great teacher. Good luck.

 

ALL EXCEPT TOM

            (Ad-Lib)

‘Bye,  Tom. See ya later. Etc.

 

TOM

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you go, can you do me one last favor?

 

ALL EXCEPT TOM

            (Ad-Lib)

Sure, Tom… Yeah… What is it?

 

TOM

Well, first of all, I want to thank you for all of your help this morning. I am definitely ready to teach. I couldn’t have done it without you, but I’m the one that’s going into the classroom … Would you listen to me do a song?


ALL EXCEPT TOM

            (Ad-Lib)

Of course… sing out fella… let’s hear it!

 

JOE

Which song are you going to do?

 

TOM

Well, that’s sort of the point. I don’t know? I’m going to make it up.

 

JOE

Well, say! Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s a new “Schoolhouse Rock” song!

 

#21 – The Tale of Mr. Morton (Tom, Company)

 

TOM

THIS IS THE TALE OF MR. MORTON.

MR. MORTON IS “WHO”.

HE IS THE SUBJECT OF OUR TALE.

AND THE PREDICATE TELLS WHAT MR. MORTON MUST DO.

MR. MORTON WALKED DOWN THE STREET.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON WALKED.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON TALKED TO HIS CAT.

 

SHULIE

Meow?

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, SHULIE

MR. MORTON TALKED.

 

GEORGE

Hello, kitty.

 

SHULIE

Meow, meow, Morton, meow.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON WAS LONELY.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON WAS.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON IS THE SUBJECT OF THE SENTENCE

AND WHAT THE PREDICATE SAYS, HE DOES.

 

MR. MORTON KNEW JUST ONE GIRL..

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, DINA

MR. MORTON KNEW.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON GREW FLOWERS FOR PEARL.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON GREW.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON WAS VERY SHY.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, DINA

MR. MORTON WAS.

 

MR. MORTON IS THE SUBJECT OF THE SENTENCE

 

AND WHAT THE PREDICATE SAYS, HE DOES.

 

TOM

A SUBJECT IS A NOUN –

THAT’S A PERSON, PLACE, OR THING –

THAT TELLS YOU WHAT THE SENTENCE IS ABOUT.

THE PREDICATE IS A VERB –

THAT’S AN ACTION WORD –

THAT GETS THE SUBJECT UP AND OUT.

MR. MORTON WROTE PEARL A POEM.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON WROTE.

 

TOM

PEARL REPLIED IN THE AFTERNOON.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE, DINA

PEARL REPLIED BY NOTE.

MR. MORTON WAS VERY NERVOUS.

 

ALL

MR. MORTON WAS.

TOM

MR. MORTON IS THE SUBJECT OF THE SENTENCE

AND WHAT THE PREDICATE SAYS, HE DOES.

THE CAT STRETCHED.

THE SUN BEAT DOWN.

A NEIGHBOR CHASED HIS KID.

 

JOE

Come back kid!

 

TOM

EACH SENTENCE IS COMPLETED WHEN YOU KNOW

WHAT THE SUBJECT DID.

 

MR. MORTON KNOCKED ON HER DOOR.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON KNOCKED.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON SAT ON HER PORCH.

YES, HE SAT AND ROCKED.

MR. MORTON WAS A NERVOUS MAN.

WHEN SHE OPENED THE UP THE DOOR HE RAN.

 

MR. MORTON CLIMBLED UP HIS STAIRS.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON CLIMBED.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON RHYMED PRETTY WORDS.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON RHYMED.

 

TOM

MR. MORTON WAS LONELY.

 

ALL EXCEPT GEORGE

MR. MORTON WAS.

 

TOM

UNTIL PEARL SHOWED UP WITH A SINGLE ROSE.

WHO SAYS WOMEN CAN’T PROPOSE!

 

ALL

NOW MR. MORTON IS HAPPY,

AND PEARL AND THE CAT ARE, TOO.

 

SHULIE

Happy ending – meow.

 

TOM

 THEY ARE THE SUBJECT OF THE SENTENCE.

AND WHAT THEY PREDICATE SAYS,

THEY DO!

 

Any questions, kids?

 

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