Alcohol



Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much.  Then again, don't drink too little.  ~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen


Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  ~Ernest Hemingway


A hangover is the wrath of grapes.  ~Author Unknown


I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.  ~John Marcellus Huston


If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.  ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker


Draft beer, not people.  ~Author Unknown


The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.  ~Author Unknown


Wine is bottled poetry.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson


When the wine goes in, strange things come out.  ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, 
The Piccolomini, 1799


If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker.  If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.  ~Author Unknown


If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.  ~Quoted in 
P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!  ~William Shakespeare, 
Othello


First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.  ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald


I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.  ~Raymond Chandler


If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.  ~Joseph Schenck


This is one of the disadvantages of wine:  it makes a man mistake words for thought.  ~Samuel Johnson


One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.  ~Lady Astor


A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner.  "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills."  ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin


Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.  ~W.C. Fields


It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.  ~Thomas de Quincy, 
Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856


It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.  ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker


The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.  ~H.L. Mencken, 
Prejudices, Fourth Series, 1924


Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.  ~Author Unknown


You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.  ~Author Unknown


Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown


I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.  ~Thomas Jackson


Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.  ~Jack Handey


When the wine is in, the wit is out.  ~Proverb


I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.  ~Frank Sinatra


What's drinking?
A mere pause from thinking!
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, 
The Deformed Transformed


I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.  ~W.C. Fields


Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord.  ~
Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902