10 rules for hiking with men
17 June 2007

When going on hiking trips with other men certain rules must be adhered to ensure an enjoyable, manly experience.

 

-The destination is not as important as how quickly you can get there.

 

-Never step down something that can be jumped down.

 

-Never admit to being tired or that you’ve had enough.

 

-If someone has stopped, don’t enquire about their well-being, walk straight past.

 

-Similarly, if you need to pass another group member, wait till the narrowest point of the trail and run past them. You’re obviously much fitter.

 

-If someone is negotiating a technically difficult section of the trail, such as a river crossing, have the camera ready to capture possible slips or falls. Importantly, let them know that you have the camera ready to capture their possible slips and falls.

 

-Lunch can only consist of sandwiches, which can have no more one spread/filling on them at one time. This must be applied in situ, with the biggest knife available.

 

-Views over large cliffs and waterfalls must be talked about not in terms of natural beauty, but how cool they would be for abseiling, base jumping or climbing.

 

-When talking about previous hiking experiences, it’s not so important where you went, but whether you got to the top.

 

-Discussion about sex and farts is great bonding material. (This may be a cliché, but it’s true.)

 

SAMBOOZLED