Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey

Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 19 The biggest Happy Butt Dance Ever!

posted Jan 28, 2011, 10:03 AM by Sally Wolf

The biggest Happy Butt Dance Ever!
    Well after six months of living with Grandma in a condo I am finally home. There is so much to do and explore. I have done a giant happy butt dance though every square inch of this house and I have found out that outside is a whole other thing all together. The first thing that I discovered about my new place is that there are other four-legged creatures in the play area next door that Mom calls horses. They snort at me and run when I run. I have discovered they will even come up to the fence and sniff me if I am bold enough to approach them. I am a bit leery of them though so I think I will give 
    Today I found a hole in the fence, which I slipped through and went on an expedition to the neighbor's house and Mom and Dad had to come and get me in the car. I now have to be walked on a leash again. This is all right because I do not have to be hooked up in the house anymore.
    Well I am back in confinement today Dad says I have to stay in this room until they finish the floor in the big room. I have decided to teach them a lesson for locking me up again. With the help of my sister I will begin to pull all of the base boards off the wall then I will scratch the carpet till I make a hole and I will tare up all of the carpet pad. Sounds like fun right?
    I have completed my destruction just in time the big room is done and I am free now. Mom is only a bit mad at me for wrecking that room as they are getting new carpet and baseboards but she says I better not do that to the new stuff. I gave her my best “Who Me Look?”

    New carpet got installed today wow it is soft I keep rolling on it and rubbing head on it while running around in a circle. I have even claimed it as mine but I got a big spanking for that one so I will think twice from now on before tying that again.

    Update. My Dad brought home some weird things on the side of the road. He says they have stay in another part of the house and I am not able to play with them. I wonder what they are?

    Update. Today my Dad showed me the new things that he brought home after seven weeks and a trip to the vet. Yippee they are playthings. Mom says they male beagle brothers but I think they are just plain fun. We all run around the house and wrestle they know all about the best games. “Pinned ya again” “My head can fit in your mouth” and my personal favorite “Are your sure that back leg is not chicken.”
    Update: I got to ride in the car today when we took the trash to the dump and I didn't even get carsick. Dad says that if I can do that every time he will take me in the car when we go places. I can't wait.
     Update Mom got me a cage I was not so sure about it at first but as soon as she put the bed in it and the cover over it is a great place to sleep. The best part is at suppertime I can eat my food in peace and no little beagle brothers eat my food while I am trying to play with it.
    All in all I really like my new house and I am glad that I am here I am sure that it will provide me with lots of adventures that I can share with you all.

Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 17 Have you seen my babies?

posted May 23, 2010, 4:18 PM by Sally Wolf

Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 17 Have you seen my babies?

            I have lost my babies there is no one to drink this milk that is dripping from me. I keep trying to get "Squeaky Lion" and a "Fur Real Kitten" to nurse but I just cannot find the right nest. I keep moving from bed to bed and then to under my dad's desk. I cannot fit all my babies in my mouth at the same time and have to go and collect them all one at a time. The problem with this is that when I leave them alone the little rat that my parents brought home keeps stealing them and running away.  I have been wondering around the house for days whining trying to tell my people that I am distressed. They just pat me on my head and send me on my way telling me that this false pregnancy will pass and that I will soon be alright. I don't feel alright. Today my mom set me up in her bed with my babies and a heating pad for my sore nipples. She even closed the door so Poppy will leave me alone. I do not think that this torture will ever end.      Well it has been almost two weeks and despite my doubts I am back to normal. I am no longer producing milk and, I do not need my toys as substitute babies anymore. Wow what an ordeal that was.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 18 Apartment life is not for me!

posted May 23, 2010, 4:17 PM by Sally Wolf   [ updated Jan 28, 2011, 10:01 AM ]

       I was really scared today everyone was running around our home moving boxes and stuffing things into bags. All my doggie sisters and I were hooked up with ropes and things we had a fenced play area and had no need for leashes. Even that four-legged scratchy creature that Mom calls a cat was put in a cage and we all got in the car. At first I thought this was great I love riding in the car, but if I had known where we were going I would have put up more of a fight. Instead of going to a cool place we moved into Grandma's condo and I hate it here. To start with I have to be walked on a leash instead of being let out into a play area. I have no place to run so I fixed this problem by figuring out how to get out of my caller and exploring my new world whenever I was being walked. Mom stopped that by buying me a harness. Next issue was that since Grandma thought that I was a puppy like my sister I had to be hooked up like her when I was in the house. I got her back for that one though my sister and I ate the wall and broke the handle of the door where were attached. Serves her right for treating me like a puppy I am two years old. It was not all bad though sometimes the kids came to pet me. My Dad even unhooks me, whenever Grandma is gone. I rewarded him by doing a very funny happy butt dance as Mom calls them. This happy butt dance entails me running around in circles chasing my tail then I dash off in one direction only to come to an abrupt sliding stop a moment later and change my direction I run back and forth for a while then circle again. This time off is not enough though; I hope that I get out of here soon.



I have decided to stop eating as a protest against being here. I am sick of being hooked up and Grandma and this other lady I have never seen before is always yelling at me. Dad and mom keep leaving and I am stuck hooked up all day except for when it is time to be walked on a leash outside.


Update 2:

We went home for one day then it was right back to Grandmas house. What did I do wrong?


Update 3:

Mom and dad have been gone a lot again and I have only been eating biscuits but we are out again.  I have decided I will only eat if someone hand feeds me. Grandma says today that I cannot be fed like that though and if I don't eat she takes my food away and gives it to KC.


Update 4:

Mom says that I am going to get a new home soon it has been so long I do not believe her and just look at her with my best sad eyes.


Update 5:

Rode in the car today for a long time today and I vomited all over Mom's shoes. When we got out of the car, I could not believe my eyes there was so much space everywhere.  We went into a building where my sister and I ran and played up and down the stairs in and out every door. Mom says this is our new home but I am not so sure as we all got back into the car and went back to Grandma's.


Update 6

Mom is loading our car like she did before and she says this is it. I get to move to the new house no more being at Grandma's. I think that will be grounds for the biggest happy but dance ever!






Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 16 Heads vs. Tails.

posted Apr 5, 2010, 6:56 PM by Sally Wolf   [ updated Apr 5, 2010, 6:57 PM ]

    Well this new thing is apparently going to stay with us. It now has a name Poppy Ann Bear. I am still weary of it as we are total opposites. For example she is black where I am white. I am long and skinny where she is short and fat. She eats all her food as quickly as she can then makes a beeline for mine. I on the other hand like to take my time eating and play with each and every morsel. I like to eat poop she avoids it at all costs she won't even poop in the same place twice. I am calm and quiet, she is loud and hyper. I only play with socks she plays with everything. I took forever to be potty trained she is already potty trained and even asked to go outside. She also loves the water bath time is play time as for me I cower and hide. Plus she is always following, nibbling and copying me. When I take a drink she takes a drink she then licks the dribbles off of my chin. Whenever, I turn around there she is. I am constantly looking behind myself to see if she is there by then it is too late she has already in front of me biting my ears.

I do have to admit however that despite all of that. This new thing has grown on me. For one thing it likes to play more then KC. I have even discovered, that on many occasions it has worn me out. We like to both play to see who can stick each others head in the other's mouth. Then we role on the floor and kick our feet at each other in a doggy stile girl fight. Sometimes I will take a sock ball and run sprints back and forth across the living room. She will dash after me and try to steel it. When she does I wonder off as if I don't care. She will then drop the ball to investigate where I am off to. When she does this I grab the ball and do the dash again. As soon as I get tired of out running her I simply jump onto couch with it where she can not reach me.

In conclusion I guess that since this thing smells alright and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I will learn to tolerate it. Well, as long as it stays away from my biscuits.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 15

posted Feb 17, 2010, 11:09 AM by Sally Wolf   [ updated Feb 17, 2010, 12:04 PM ]

    Oh boy do I have a story for you. Yesterday my family left the den as they often do and I was left alone with my doggy sister. I was hoping this little hunting trip would result in bringing me back some biscuits. Well, to my surprise not only did they not bring me any biscuits they presented me with this other creature. I am not sure that it is safe and despite my best efforts to flee from it, I am constantly being followed. I keep trying to tell my Mom and dad to take this thing back and get me some biscuits but they just give me a scratch and send me on my way.  KC my doggy sister fallows this thing around growling at it with no effect at all. It just goes under her legs and toddles off on its marry way witch is usually strait for me. I have found however that it cannot walk on the hard ground only the soft so I stay in these areas of the den and observe it from a distance. This stranger is loud, bothersome and it gets to go out the forbidden door into the big play area. I don't like it at all and wish it would just go away.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 14

posted Feb 11, 2010, 8:33 AM by Sally Wolf

    Woo, ho, something fantastic happened this stuff fell from the sky and covered the ground. My Mom calls it snow but I call it fun! I love to play in it. First of all if you stick your nose in and run forward you can push it ahead of you to make a path and find hidden treasures. This is method is a great way to get around but my favorite way to get from one place to another is leaping because the landing is so soft and squishy. I never want to go back in the house I do however because I have a weakness for biscuits and when I hear that box rattle I always come running. My mom has even given up trying to force me to eat my food in a specific location. She has given me a bowl that I can carry to anywhere I choose to eat. This too is delightful as I can toss the food and chase it, then with a great pounce capture it and devour it. This makes eating so much more fun and I no longer try to hide my food under my blanket. As I finish writing this entry all my beloved snow is gone leaving me only with mud to slush through this I don't mind it is the being stopped at the door to get my feet and belly rubbed down with a towel. I do not understand what I did wrong? I was just trying to thank them, honest. I did not mean to get paw prints all over the carpet, couch, counter, and my dads white shirt. Just look into eyes to see I'm telling the truth.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 13

posted Feb 11, 2010, 8:30 AM by Sally Wolf

    Well, I have been a very busy girl, as I have now been off my potty training leash for a little over two months. During,  this time I have found that my house is a great place to explore. First of all, there are many tall plates were I have found a plethora of food. All of which I attempt to sample by standing on my hind legs then pulling the food down to a suitable height for consumption. I have also found tasty nuggets provided by my next discovery. There is another four legged creature much like myself in the house, with whom I am very frustrated. You see despite my best efforts to get this thing to play with me it simply refuses. I have even brought this creature presents of tasty socks but my only rewarded for this gallant effort is a painful swat across my nose. This has not deterred me in the least bit however, I think I will continue to bark and taunt this strange creature but only from a safe distance.
    The next best thing about been off is that I get to sleep on the soft couch and anyone who happens upon me will stop and give me love. I will return this by standing on my hind legs and stretching up as far as I can. My dad calls this giving doggy hugs and I am usually rewarded with my new favorite word biscuit. I would do anything for those tasty morsels.
    Now don't get me wrong it is not always good to be running about. I seem to get into a lot more trouble. I am not allowed to run out the front door, eat off the tall plates, snack from the cat box, chew the other kids toys and must never touch the remotes and other plastic things, around the house. These are bed offences. I am confined to my bed again until the next meal and potty time. These times of exile are well worth it however because of all the fun and love I enjoy while I am off.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 12

posted Feb 11, 2010, 8:28 AM by Sally Wolf

    Let me tell you about the worst and best day of my life. Up to this point my  my life has been very simple for potty training proposes I have been hooked up in the front hall and I have spent most of my days and nights there. This is not so bad as my family always makes an effort to come and give me lots of pets as often as they can. This brings me to the bad part of my story. As, I may have said in a previous entry food is boring. I usually dump it out and bury it to find it later just to keep it interesting. This is a mild annoyance to my mother who worries that I do not get enough to eat because nine times out of ten my doggy sister eats my stash before I have a chance to get around to eating it.  The problem was that without my parents noticing I developed a small tare in my tummy from a free busy bone that was found in my dog food bag. This made it impossible for me to eat it hurt so bad that I just stopped eating all together. This is not a good thing as ones body needs nutrition to survive. Since this was not being acquired I collapsed and my mother had to rush me to the doctor. 500 dollars and a lot of shot pain later the Vet could not tell my mother what was wrong. When she brought me home she gave me some stake knowing that no matter how bad I felt I could not resist being hand fed some steak. I yelped and spun around letting her know right away that eating hurt. From that point on I got a dropper full of yucky pink stuff then a bit of thin sliced steak. After one week  of this I am now once again eating chow like a champ.  The best part of
this whole deal is that I am no longer confined to the front hall as I am much calmer and I go outdoors to do my business. I had to endure great pain but now I am free to roam the house which means lots of petting whenever I come into the room. I hope I never have to go through pain like that again but I am happy for the opportunity to hang out with my family all of the time.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 11

posted Feb 11, 2010, 8:23 AM by Sally Wolf   [ updated Feb 11, 2010, 8:27 AM ]

    My people mom is not very pleased with me. I am not sure what I have done wrong. You see when I get board I chew I am a dog after all right? I have managed to chew a considerable sized hole in the wall. I have been busy trying to make it as big as I can. It is great I can almost stick my whole head in there. Every time mom catches me she yells at me and tells me that I am a naughty dog. I try to obey  but it is there taunting me maybe there is something back there to eat or play with. Mom just put something hard there that I cannot chew through drat and I was so close too.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 10

posted Feb 11, 2010, 8:20 AM by Sally Wolf

    Yesterday was ear cleaning day again. My sister has to wear a cone on her head until the ear medicine is dry.  I should not have laughed at her but she kept walking into walls and when she tried to get a drink the water bucket got it stuck on her head. You see my doggy sister got an ear infection recently.  When my adopted mom cleaned them KC got all upset and scratched it so much that she broke a blood vessel in the ear it swelled up like a balloon. When the blood receded it became all shriveled up like a cauliflower. So when my mom cleaned my ears this time I just stood there grinning at her when she was done I gave her a slobbering kiss right on the lips for her efforts and she gave me a bone. She said if that I am always this good when she has to play vet at she would give me a special treat and I will not have to wear the cone. So in closing some friendly advice. Take the weekly ear cleaning with stride it will save you a lot of suffering in the long run.

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