Profound Thoughts, Miscellaneous Minutiae & Garbage
Our local Syracuse NY paper now charges for obituaries. One inch is free but after that - they sell death by the inch. You can bet the funeral homes are 'folding' that into the fees, too. Some of those suckers are running about a foot long - really
On the pro side - some are really interesting & have some historical relevance. Another plus - the size of the obit no longer depends on prominence or social standing - but there are those that make me flinch. One woman went to sit at God's side in order to help him - they didn't state what God's reaction was - extreme unease, I'm guessing.
My all-time favorite was a recent one - probably written by the deceasee himself. It started with this: "On February __, John Doe kicked the bucket". I'm not kidding. I just wish I had known him! He had probably read a few too many of these creative obits and was up to his gizzard with them....
Speaking of Decor - let me tell you about our living room. I'm sure you've heard the term 'eclectic'? Ours is 'ecch-lectic'. A circular tour of our living room yields the following inventory: contemporary lamp on Craftsman style end table; traditional couch fronted by Craftsman style coffee table; 'Danish' modern end table topped by modern lamp; Danish chair fronted by antique (c. 1860) footstool; Danish chair; 'Catolog cheap' magazine table; Danish chair; pseudo-art deco TV stand topped by 'the gorilla in the living room' TV (CRT); genuine art deco cedar chest topped by ageless plants that usually need water.
There you have it. Oh - one more thing. Contemporary art in contemporary frames exist 'cheek by jowl' with traditional art in traditional frames. So - I'm available if you need an interior designer...
Paul McCartney seems a decent chap and all - but when I read that in the divorce proceedings, he may lose a quarter if his Giga-million dollar assets - my question is - would he notice?...........
"Sony launches PlayStation 3 amid frenzy"
"NEW YORK (Reuters) - Thousands camped outside of stores on Friday to be among the first U.S. buyers of Sony Corp.'s new PlayStation 3 video game machine, but violence marred the debut when one man was shot outside a Connecticut store."
This is actually a 'stand alone' item in terms of DUMB. It needs no comment here. Remember that this misbegotten 'game' costs several hundred dollars.... words fail me......
Any of various small short-tailed furry-footed rodents (as genera Lemmus and Dicrostonyx) of circumpolar distribution that are notable for the recurrent mass migrations of a European form (L. lemmus) which often continue into the sea where vast numbers are drowned.
In other words - if one does it - all do it! It's all about trendiness, folks - so this is where you'll find updates on the latest trends. Watch this column!
Granite countertops are out! 'Engineered stone' is in! So rip those counters out - it's a dead-end trend.
But you can relax for awhile. You know those 'mall entrances' on all the new mini-mansions?
Lancaster Mall Entrance
Sure ya do - those spectacularly ugly arched entries that soar skyward? Well - they're still putting them on houses. (I won't even get into a discussion of the roof lines that look like a print-out from an EKG - & no - I didn't originate that line - I read it somewhere). They're still calling those houses 'transitional'. I haven't yet figured out what they're in transit from - or in transit to...
OK - let's hear it for the latest blatantly stupid trend. Salt. Yep - in a recent Newsweek TipSheet section - taste tests on salt
were conducted - tongue in cheek, I'm sure. Turns out you can pay
anywhere from about 75 cents for 26 oz. of ordinary table salt up to - are you ready for this - $17.95 for 16 oz. of Pink Himalaya Salt! Now - I don't want to put down the Himalayas (subtle pun there) - or the color pink - but how dumb is that? It
presents a veritable saltmine of satire - a total collapse into the
depths of dumbth. And to think I thought bottled water was
stupid unless your water supply is entertaining an aquarium full of
coliform. (At least Perrier bottles make good bud vases).
Ah - at last some trends I can live with! The color purple and any shade thereof is IN! Also - tunics are back bigtime. Those skinny runway models don't need butt covers - but in the world of real women? Oh - you bet!
I'm sure you're aware of those 'Barbie wannabe dolls' labeled Bratz. Have you really looked at them?? Our daughter-in-law calls them "Slutz". Mommies - what are you thinking? Do you really want your daughters to look like that? Barbie - with her disproportionate bazoom may not be the ultimate ideal but compared to - um - Bratz? Ole Barb is downright wholesome.
And that reminds me - at one point, Mattel decided to counter the - um - Bratz threat by creating California Girl Barbie. Sounds OK - but one day, walking through a toy department, I came to a screeching halt and did a double take! On the box were the words "Cali Girl Barbie"... need I say more? I wonder how long it took them to catch that?!