"If I saw a film this entertaining every few months, I would be a very happy man." 


John Carter of Mars. You know, the planet?
If you don’t know what John Carter is, it isn’t your fault. It’s Disney’s fault. The marketing of John Carter was one of the worst atrocities performed to a great movie in a long time.

I can just imagine the marketing executives now, having written “John Carter of Mars” on a piece of paper and shown it to exactly one person who responded with “Why Mars?” they desperately scribble over the last part and attempt to purge it from their marketing campaign. Because who could get into a movie about other planets represented in a fantastical way, am I right? Not just that, but then they failed at getting rid of the Mars part anyway, leaving a slew of perplexing "M"s in banners and alternate posters.

And that was just the start, as they churned out trailer after trailer ignoring the most interesting parts of the film, and completely neglecting its clever Pixar styled humor. John Carter is actually very funny at times? You didn’t know that? Again, not your fault. Ironically it is this misunderstanding of how to handle the source material, and a fear of America not being able to get behind a man on Mars, that stunted the development of this project time and time again. You see, the film has been in pre-production, in some form or another, since before you were born. Unless you were born before 1931, in which case you are incredibly old.

You might be wondering why all this matters. The truth is it wouldn’t matter much at all, except that John Carter is fantastic. If I saw a film this entertaining every few months, I would be a very happy man. Whether it is a 250 million dollar film, I’m not convinced, but again I couldn’t care because it was worth watching. This is not to say John Carter isn’t niche or flawed, but its imperfections are completely forgivable when standing in the shadow of its towering entertainment factor and outstandingly charismatic animation. Pixar’s hand in John Carter is unmistakable and the film is wholly better for it. The new Mission: Impossible should be indication enough that that company at least knows how to entertain in live action.

Normally I couldn’t be bothered with avoiding spoilers but, much like Scott Pilgrim Vs the World, I’m going to assume a fair amount of people haven’t yet gone to watch John Carter and it deserves your full attention. To put it in perspective, John Carter was everything I was hoping Phantom Menace was going to be as a small idealistic Star Wars fan in the 90s. So, what are you waiting for?