I am not an atheist but my belief in God was more abstract.
Idea of formless God was more plausible to my mind. My attitude, from the
beginning, could be described best as of anti-establishments. So far the
so-called religious institutions, systems, peoples are concerned, the saying I
red somewhere: “God is everywhere except churches, mosques and temples”;
best described my feelings!
Anyway, those questions with hard-to-find answers occurred
to me too, as to all passed animal stage in evolution: Who am I? What is the aim
of life? What is beyond life? If an actor is pushed on the stage suddenly may
wonder what is the story of the drama, which is the act and what is his role,
but asking about meaning of life is not normal and only seekers are supposed to
ask such things.
I asked one seeker, my father, and he said that these
questions cannot be understood by mind and I should come to Sahaja Yoga, which
can teach me how to go beyond mind and realize the truth. He talked of
vibrations-omnipresent primordial energy, that can be felt, but it was too much
for my scientific mind.
Once I was very ill, hospitalized, half a sleep when my
father ‘gave’ me vibrations. I felt strong flow from hands, impossible to
deny! If miracle is something logically and scientifically unexplainable then I
experienced a miracle. This was my starting in Sahaja Yoga. Later, I experienced
that everything has vibrations and vibrations felt individually are reflected