Visit Freedonia

Why visit anywhere else? 

 Home | Visit Freedonia | President's Letter | Cultural Events

 Plan your next visit to Freedonia, land of the brave and free.

Vast Military Might

In Freedonia, we like to say "join the army, see the navy!" Forced conscription is only one of the fantastic advantages to vacationing in our vast swampy regions. Who knows, you may even come across some weapons of mass destruction ...

Remember, while you're out risking life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

Cultural Events

We'll dance with you until the cows come home, or maybe we'll dance with the cows until you come home. Just remember to pick a rhumba from 1 to 10.

See Mrs Teasdale's famed tea parties, and come with or without an invitation; in Freedonia, you're always in Freedonia.

And you can get stucco. Boy, can you get stucco.


It's never a dull moment, where you can get a glass of water at any time of night. We'll meet you under the moon -- just the moon and you, but be sure to wear a necktie so we'll know you.


Trust us, we won't make you ride in the sidecar. Remember: you can only fool a Firefly twice.

Urinating in the Face of Authority

There's nothing wrong with a little irreverance. (except to us, in which case we'll have you court-marshalled and shot) Why, our ancestors would rise from their graves, and we'd have to bury them again.

 What We Offer You

All we can offer is a Rufus over your head -- Go visit the rest of the upstarts in Sylvania if you're looking for serenity, understanding, and a good price on a pair of shoes. Freedonia is the land of the free, and if you don't like it, we'll take away your air!