Skaldic scratchpad

An assortment of poems and other selected writings.

This site may or may not be updated in the future.

I got Butchered

A Midsummer Afternoon

God Shuffled his Feet


Romancing the Reaper


The Vogon Poem

Vogon Haiku

Winter Scout

Scream for me Washington

An excruciatingly true-to-life account of an incredibly dull weekend. A tad frivolous, I admit, but then you don’t quite expect me to write The Charge of the Light Brigade, do you?

A Midsummer Afternoon’s Tale (or An Ode to Fruit Loops)

Ah! The simple pleasure of waking up at late
On a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I dragged myself out of bed, only to collapse on the sofa
Scratched my three-day old stubble
And clicked through the hundred odd channels of drivel on TV.
With an enormous effort, I managed to move my limbs
And let out a wailing yawn;
Life was good.

Flipping idly through the Sunday comics
I sensed his approach.
I had managed to stave off the Beast
Since Friday night’s binge;
But now he was back with a vengeance,
As he spread out his jaws to reveal his fangs; I cursed
The bane of hunger pangs.

With an immense dint of willpower
I made my way to the refrigerator
Took a deep breath, opened the door
And boldly peered inside.
Sifting through the fetid slices
That were the remnants of last week’s pizza
I chanced upon a grayish brown lump.
Trying to assess whether it was animal, mineral or vegetable
I prodded at it; carefully, lest it bite back.

Giving no clue to its true nature,
The lump rolled over on its side
And crawled behind the month-old can of ravioli.
I deemed it best not to pursue it any further
The ravioli and I had developed a mutual respect for each other over the weeks
As it lay unperturbed on the middle shelf of my refrigerator
Breeding strange new forms of organic life
In its bizarre ecosystem of festering tomato sauce and pasta.

I moved on,
And turned my attention to the kitchen cabinet next
It was there while rummaging through empty cartons of cheese crackers
That my eyes fell on the box of fruit loops.
I regaled.  I rejoiced.  My heart leapt with joy
As I beheld the box of breakfast cereal in my hands.

The myriad colors of the rings
Sparkled resplendently as I poured them into the bowl of milk
And danced gaily in the shaft of light
Suddenly, these were no ordinary loops frosted with sugar
But enchanted rings with fantastic powers
Fashioned by the fairest elves themselves
And writ with magic runes.

I imbibed the sweet nectar of life
Slowly at first, letting each piece
Roll gently over my palate
Greedily then, gulping them by the spoonful
Lest they lose their divine flavor
I finished off by draining the bowl in a swift swig
And let out a sigh of satisfaction.

As I resumed my position
Across the face of the couch
I blessed with all my heart,
The life saving crumbs of ambrosia
That gave their all, so that I could live
With the smile of contentment on my lips and a song in my heart
I write this paean in honor of the noble loops.