Rectal Temperature Stories

    rectal temperature
  • The rectum (from the Latin rectum intestinum, meaning straight intestine) is the final straight portion of the large intestine in some mammals, and the gut in others, terminating in the anus. The human rectum is about 12 cm long.
  • An account of imaginary or real people and events told for entertainment
  • A plot or story line
  • A report of an item of news in a newspaper, magazine, or news broadcast
  • (story) narrative: a message that tells the particulars of an act or occurrence or course of events; presented in writing or drama or cinema or as a radio or television program; "his narrative was interesting"; "Disney's stories entertain adults as well as children"
  • (story) a piece of fiction that narrates a chain of related events; "he writes stories for the magazines"
  • (story) floor: a structure consisting of a room or set of rooms at a single position along a vertical scale; "what level is the office on?"
rectal temperature stories
Iolanthe - 1993 to 12 April 2002

This is the story of a very special lady who shared my life for eight and a half years and whose name I adopted for Flickr and Fotolog as a tribute.

Iolanthe came to stay with me in November 1993. She had been given to my then boyfriend by a girl he knew who worked in a pet shop.
Iolanthe was a tiny, terrified, skinny little creature who refused to eat. The boyfriend built her a huge vivarium that she was totally lost in, but then after a week or so, he decided that she wasn't going to survive, and was talking about having her euthanised. I told him she should be given a chance, and he gave her to me.
I started hand feeding her with mashed kiwi fruit and when she started having rectal prolapses I rushed her to the vet. Tests on faecal samples showed a massive parasite infestation and the vet gave her medicine but didn't rate her chances very highly. Against all the odds, she recovered.
I had known nothing about iguanas and their special needs, so I had to learn fast. They are vegetarian and require food with a specific calcium/phosphorous balance. I had to buy a thermostat, heat bulb, spotlight and a special ultra-violet fluorescent tube as iguanas require high daytime temperatures and ultra-violet light.
An Occupational Hazard
An Occupational Hazard
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, she says: 'Well, that's great, just great. Some asshole's got my pen!'
rectal temperature stories