• Two men were talking. First: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house n doing laundry.
Second: Amazing, I took divorce for the same reason!

• Teacher: Who is Mahatma Gandhi?
Modern day Student: He is the one who helped Munna Bhai to impress his Girlfriend!

• It's a fact: A girl may not help u to get lot of salary but... salary may help u to get lot of girls. So, love ur work not girls!

• One of the biggest problems of the world is that the stupid ones are damn sure & the intelligent ones are full of doubts !

• When gambling became legal in the city, everyone agreed that the city was now a bettor place.

• There was the scientist who disconnected his doorbell. He wanted to win the Nobel Prize.

• Q: What time is it when most people go to the dentist?
A: Tooth-Hurty!

• Newly divorced woman explaining reason for splitting: We had religious differences - he thought he was God, I didn't.

• Expensive fertilizers that do nothing for your grass will give you the most gorgeous weeds you ever saw.

• People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.