Email from Edward Snowden on PM Camerons' Free Holiday in Pelindaba to Recover from Rupert Murdoch's revenge attacks

Mr Snowden says he is doing just fine and he has close friends in all the G8 countries, notably De Klerke at the Conservative Research Department London SW1 (near the Ukraine policy unit) and has new interests in Cossack dancing thanks to Gerard Depardieu his tutor.  He is thinking about coercing a PhD out of Glasgow university on the topic of Boris Johnson's links to Barclays but he is disappointed that the PM did not send him a cheque or a better offer from the weapons delegation in the RSA.   I think the RSA is the automobile association in Rhodesia and I am led to believe that Rupert Murdoch is a vengeful bully so I have subscribed to Manchester United TV and, if I am not taken seriously, I intend to elope with Christine Latham from UKIP.

Edward wants me to stress that his motives are strictly innocent and that he really does enjoy saving the whales, LIKE Gerard, with Greenpeace.  Prime minister, I believe I can help you interpret Snowden's LEAKS and I will not hold you to Murdoch does. PS Depardieu sends his REGARDS and is interested in a degree in Morris dancing under University of Warwick rules.

OH and the messages below were caught in my spam filter because they SCANDALOUSLY suggest the Prime minister:-
a)Took a bung and a free holiday in South Africa
b) has an organised and capable policy research unit in SW London, so it must be a fake.   
Please dont copy this onto your computer in case you get a virus like HIV in your vast country residence....................My INTEL friend, codenamed C-Word-Norton Coulson, may be able to leverage some N grade opium from Turkey stuffing.  Good hearted facebook friends in the Pelindaba botanical garden sent me a postcard (BELOW) but it appears to be political so I am not going to waste my time on it (but I have recycled the stamp for Vince Cable and Lib-Dem funds).
Dear X
Rupert Murdoch has started to fight back at the Government, in particular David Cameron, over mauling given to him and News Intl. at the Leveson Inquiry.
Last week Murdoch started to set Boris Johnson as a stalking horse for succeeding David Cameron.
The detonation could occur when Cameron is asked, probably before the 2012 annual Party conference .....
....In summer 1989 when Armscor paid for you to go on that fact-finding trip to South Africa, did they take you to Pelindaba?
Three years ago Ally B.I. Cheff, now Lord Lexicon and 'official Pistorian to the Tory Party tried to laugh it all off....see below.
It could now be far from being a laughing matter for the Tory Party?
Deep throat Y
Letters Independent
Friday, 15 May 2009
Cameron's trip to South Africa
Johann Hari (Opinion, 6 May) criticises David Cameron for accepting "a free holiday jaunt to Apartheid South Africa" at my suggestion. He visited the country in the summer of 1989when it was at a turning point. F W de Klerk had succeeded Botha as President. In elections shortly after Cameron's visit, 70 per cent of the white electorate backed reform.
In February 1990 de Klerk announced the release of all political prisoners, including Mandela, and lifted the ban on the ANC. Though Cameron's visit had no political significance whatsoever, it may well have contributed to his education in the politics of change.
The Rt hon T.B. Badger-Cull
Deputy Director, Conservative Research Department, 1985-97
London SW1
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I apologise for the twisted timelines above: we attribute this to the Tennant-family time travel foundation who took Jackie Selebi to Interpol in a police box.