Netanyahu Heaven

posted Jun 11, 2016, 7:31 AM by Professor Katz   [ updated Jun 11, 2016, 8:05 AM ]
As you will no doubt recall, the Mormons have been baptizing people, including and especially the dead, since the 1840s, so as to enable everyone to have a share of the universal Heaven.  They even got my departed Grandma.

They've been working hard, and have managed to baptize hundreds of millions of people, including all of the popes, Buddha, Shakespeare, Einstein and Elvis.

But is this good for the Jews?  It never hurts to have a second passport, especially to Heaven.

A quick check at the Mormon website FamilySearch has revealed some very disquieting information.  As we would hope and expect, the Netanyahu family is well represented, either already in Heaven or booked in for the distant future.  Benzion Netanyahu (1910-2012) is there, Benjamin Netanyahu's late father, the distinguished historian.  Benjamin Netanyahu himself has a reservation in Heaven, of course, thanks to his having lived in New York while Israeli ambassador to the United Nations:

Name Benjamin Netanyahu
Residence Date 01 Jun 1985-01 Apr 1998
Residence Place New York, New York, United States
Address 800 2nd Ave
Address Continued New York, New York 10017
Address Date 01 Jun 1985-01 Apr 1998
Record Number 60803676

His second wife, Fleur Cates-Netanyahu, is going to Heaven, perhaps thanks to Bibi.  Brother Iddo Netanyahu is destined for a heavenly seat, as are a number of other family members.

But one person is missing on the passenger list: Sara.  Unless something is done, many years from now Benjamin Netanyahu will be going to Heaven without her, to be re-united with his second wife Fleur.  One constantly hears rumours, no doubt lying lies told by the lying liars of the media, that Mr Netanyahu is forbidden to travel abroad without taking his wife Sara with him.  I think Heaven counts as "chootz l'aretz", in a very real and legally binding sense.

Someone should do something.  God has enough on His plate as it is.