2 pac. 3 days grace. 3 doors down. 3 inches of blood. 4 non blondes. 50 cent. 311. a static lullaby. aaron tippin. acceptance. ace of base. adam sandler. aerosmith. afi. against all authority. against me. al hirt. alabama. alan jackson. alanis morrisette. alicia keys. alkaline trio. allister. am radio. ambulance ltd. american hi-fi. american nightmare. anberlin. and you will know us by the trail of dead. andrew bird. ani difranco. anti-flag. aqualung. armor for sleep. ashanti. ashlee simpson. atom& his package. azure ray. baby bash. babyface. bach. backstreet boys. bane. barenaked ladies. beethoven. belle& sebastian. beloved. ben folds. ben folds five. ben gibbard. ben harper. ben lee. ben's brother. bethany joy lenz. beyonce. big& rich. big d& the kids table. billie holliday. billy currington. billy idol. billy joel. bing crosby. bjork. black eyed peas. black my heart. blake shelton. blind melon. blink 182. bob dylan. bon jovi. bone thugs& harmony. bonnie raitt. bowling for soup. boys like girls. boys night out. boysetsfire. boyz II men. brad paisley. brand new. brian mcknight. bright eyes. britney spears. brooks &dunn. bryan greenberg. bury your dead. butch walker. carly simon. carole king. carrie underwood. cassidy. cat power. catch 22. chamillionaire. charlie parker. chicago. ciara. citizen cope. code seven. coheed& cambria. colbie caillat. coldplay. colin raye. copeland. counting crows. cracker. craig morgan. cute is what we aim for. daddy yankee. damien jurado. danzig. darryl worley. dashboard confessional.  david bowie. day at the fair. dc talk. dean martin. death cab for cutie. death threat. def leppard. destiny's child. destroyer. diamond rio. dierks bentley. dimitri shostakovich. dmx. dolly parton. dropkick murphys. duke ellington. ella fitzgerald. elliott smith. elvis costello. emerson drive. eminem. eric clapton. europe. eva cassidy. eve. eve 6. evelyn glennie. even in blackouts. every time i die. faith no more. fall out boy. feist. fergie. finch. fiona apple. five for fighting. five iron frenzy. flogging molly. foo fighters. frank sinatra. franz ferdinand. from autumn to ashes. further seems forever. garbage. george strait. glassjaw. godsmack. goldfinger. goo goo dolls. good charlotte. good clean fun. grandaddy. gravy train. green day. gretchen wilson. gwen stefani. gym class heroes. hanson. harry connick jr. hellogoodbye. hidden in plain view. hinder. hoobastank. hootie& the blowfish. howie day. idle hands. ignite. igor stravinsky. immortal technique. in flames. incubus. ingrid michaelson. jack johnson. jackson c frank. jaco pastorius. james blunt. james taylor. jason aldean. jay-z. jeff buckley. jenny lewis& the watson twins. jet. jewel. jimmy buffet. jimmy eat world. jlo. jo dee messina. joe diffie. john coaltrane. john denver. john mayer. john michael montgomery. john williams. johnny cash. josh turner. journey. judas priest. juno reactor. justin timberlake. kanye west. keane. keith urban. kelly clarkson. kenny chesney. kevin devine. kid rock. killswitch engage. killwhitneydead. kimya dawson. lesley gore. less than jake. liars. lil jon. lil kim. limbeck. limp wrist. linkin park. lisa loev. lit. lonestar. louie armstrong. ludacris. lynard skynard. mad caddies. madball. mae. manic street preachers. mariah carey. maroon 5. martina mcbride. mary j blige. mat kearny. matchbook romance. matchbox 20. mates of state. me first &the gimme gimmes. meatloaf. meiko kaji. mendelssohn. mercyme. mest. michael penn. michael w smith. michelle featherstone. mike park. miles davis. mirah. missy elliott. modest mouse. montgomery gentry. mozart. mrs. skanatto. murder by death. mustard plug. my chemical romance. nancy sinatra. nat king cole. natalie imbruglia. natalie merchant. needtobreathe. neil diamond. new found glory. ne-yo. nickle creek. nine inch nails. nirvana. no doubt. nsync. oasis. obie trice. of montreal. old crow medicine show. one true thing. open hand. our lady peace. paris hilton. pat benetar. patsy cline. paul simon. pearl jam. phantom planet. phish. phillip glass. piebald. pink. plain white t's. plus 44. poison. poison the well. prokofiev. queen. rem. radiohead rage against the machine. rancid. randy travis. rascal flatts. ray lamontagne. razbari sumthing. real mccoy. reba mcentire. red hot chili peppers. reel big fish. rhianna. richard cheese. rilo kiley. rise against. robert w smith. rockapella. rocky votolato. rooney. rx bandits. salt n pepa. sarah maclachlin. saves the day. say anything. seussical the musical. shakira. sharkpunch. simon &garfunkel. simple plan. skatos. slayer. snoop dogg. snow patrol. something corporate. sonicflood. spice girls. steve reich. story of the year. straighter than pete. streetlight manifesto. sublime. sugar ray. sum 41. taking back sunday. taylor swift. tchaikovsky. tears for fears. tenacious d. terror.  the academy is. the aka's. the all american rejects. the aquabats. the arcade fire. the ataris. the beatles. the carpenters. the cure. the daugters. the decembersits. the dirty dozen brass band. the dixie chicks. the dresden dolls. the electric six. the format. the fray. the get up kids. the know how. the kronos quartet. the mars volta. the mountain goats. the offspring. the pogues. the postal service. the red chord. the schematics. the sleeping. the starting line. the taj motel trio. the temptations. the toasters. the unicorns. the vandals. the weakerthans. the wreckers. the yeah yeah yeah's. third day. third eye blind. thrice. throwdown. tim mcgraw. timbaland. toby keith. tony bennett. tori amos. trace adkins. tracy byrd. travis tritt. trespassers william. trisha yearwood. tyler hilton. u2. uakti. unearth. usher. venice shoreline chris. vertical horizon. verve. walls of jericho. weezer. westbound train. why. yann tiersen. yellowcard. yoko kanno. your heart breaks. yo yo ma. 

i'm from central new york, and that's where i will always call home. i have rheumatoid arthritis, and i refuse to let it restrict me from doing all the things i want to do. i am constantly dissatisfied with things and always changing them. i have all sorts of goals and plans for doing great things with my life but have just recently gained the ambiton, and it's discouraging sometimes to see people my age or my friends miles and miles ahead of me on the road of life. my family is pretty small and extremely close. i was raised united methodist and religion is pretty important to me, though i am guilty of not getting up early enough on sundays. that goes for any day really, getting me out of bed on time for anything is nearly impossible. i also am caught running out of the house wherever i am going because no matter how much time i have to get ready to go somewhere, i alwasy need 5 minutes more than that. i hate inconsistency so I don't like to capitalize my sentences because i would rather the letters all be lower case, or upper case. i also am a stickler for symmetry. i don't like it when things are uneven and it bothers me a lot that i have a tattoo on one arm but not on the other. i am a computer nerd, a comic book/cartoon nerd, and a marching band/drum corps nerd, mostly i am just a nerd. i spend most of my time watching television and sometimes i have a hard time deciphering fiction from reality. so i have been known to get into a depressed state when derek and meredith are not together. i'm going back to school in fall and i am really excited about it. i also like going to conferences for work or that are related to what i want to do for work. i am incapable of saving money. i spend all my paychecks within 2 days of receiving them usually on ridiculous stuff i do not need, i am working on this though. i don't have any idea what my natural hair color is anymore. i have never finished anything i have ever started. i have a bad habit of falling for guys who are unavailable because i have a fear of commitment. i am guilty of believing things will never be as good as they once were. my mom is my best friend, and when we are together we are too absurd for our own good. if i say i don't want to talk about something, drop it or i will probably bite your head off. sometimes i get into unexplained bad moods and the only thing to do is just let 'em play out. i don't like surprises. i really like wine tastings and trying hand crafted beers from local breweries although there are none near where i live. my favorite i have been to was the san francisco brewing company. i never answer my phone. my perfect date would be for my boyfriend to take me to a baseball game and buy me a hot dog and a beer. or to go to an amusement park or fair and spend the whole day riding rides and getting our faces painted. i am selfish. i want all my friends to be happy, as long as their being happy doesn't affect my happiness. i can't do just one thing at a time. i want to go on a misison trip to africa or south america and hope that someday i will be in a job that would allow me to take that much time off, and have the money to do so. i only believe in horoscopes on days that what it says applies to my life. i am deathly afraid of man made water structures such as reservoirs, water treatment centers, dams, and water towers. don't ask me to explain why, i cannot. but if you try to get me to go near one i will freak out, most likely resulting in hyperventilation and tears. i lived in zimbabwe, africa when i was ten. and it annoys me when people think they are being clever and put "zimbabwe" as their location on myspace. most of them don't know a single thing about the place, let alone could they find it on a map. i am stubborn. i am fascinated with the history of the free masons, the illuminati and other secret societies. i also have a string desire to learn latin, but never went anywhere that it was offered so i have been trying to teach myself. i want to go to rome. i love going to look at apartments and houses because i love hgtv, if you ever are apartment hunting, and want someone to go with you, i'm your gal i am not smart, but i am not an idiot so don't treat me like one. i am too forgiving and always give people way more chances than they deserve. i want to find someone who can make me excited about the future, i want to fall in love with someone who is going to be my best friend.


i love:


orchids. summertime. baseball. the red sox. television. the boys of 90210  dylan mckay. marvel comics. *xmen* drum corps shows. phantom regiment *always*. cavaliers drumline. blue devils in recent years. old school santa clara. going to skaneatles with cait and spendng the day on the lake talking. how i met your mother. cooperstown. stephen colbert's "americone dream" ice cream. sunglasses. being tan. stand up comedians. singing sweet caroline at fenway park. road trips with friends. west dennis beach and cape cod. driving 70 mph down the road with all the windows down. bonfires. shopping. finding a pair of jeans that fits so well you feel like they were made just for you. feeling ambitious. organizing things. decorating and design.comforters and sheets and comfy bedding that matches. driving pick up trucks. the b'ville diner at 2:30 in the morning when all the drunkies come in and eat. waking up to text messages in the morning that you received from drunk friends, or a boy that misses you, in the middle of the night. days when it snows just a little bit and the trees all look like they are covered in crystals. mornings when i wake up and the sun is shining on the valley and you can see every little ridge of the mountains so clearly. putting things in a list. the perfect balance of syrup and carbonation in your soda. taco bell. meeting new people that dig the same things as you. when you wake up in the morning and realize you can go back to sleep for a little while before you have to actually wake up. spending an entire day in bed with someone you love. minimalistic music. pieces for marimba and other mallet percussion. bernard woma and learning all his dances. friday convos at occ. the warmth of your laptop on a cold night. the west wing and aaron sorkin's  brilliantly quick wit. talking to matt all night long and not even caring about the time difference. cream cheese. feeling like you belong somewhere.


i hate:


 DRUGS. pennsylvania. being sick always. taking 11 pills a day. when people speak to me in a condescending manner. people who are not punctual. the fact that itunes doesn't have skins. never ever having cell reception in swift run gap. driving over the mountains when they are buried in fog. becoming better friends with people in syracuse since i have moved and being unable to hangout with them. flat soda. east syracuse minoa girls. being unable to open things on my own. auto immune diseases. the ever rising price of concessions at the dome. days when you get up and go into work only for them to close due to weather a few hours later. as soon as a tv show becomes my favorite it is immediately cancelled. george hopkins. the cadets. conflict diamonds and all the problems they cause in africa. how the united states media so blindly choses not to report anything that is happening in the world that we do not have a part in. obnoxious new york/jersey accents. roger clemens. not having a memory card for my ps2. at 3 am when my satellite shuts down to re-program and makes the tv very loud and fuzzy for 15 minutes. when my dvr decides i want to watch something else and records random shit. color guards. when people grow up and make fun of everything they used to do and say how stupid it was. feeling jealous/upset/hurt for stupid reasons. when people boo athletes and teams at sporting events. when you get sick of a song you used to love. when you're sitting at a stop light at 3 in the morning and there is no one coming but the light stays red forever. when my internet connection drags. when you download a song on limewire and then play it and it's something completely different. when you go to a bonfire and then your hair and clothes smell like smoke forever. jerks that are rude to someone because of what sports team they like, mainly the crappy things yankees fans have said to me, but anyone who does it no matter the team also. people who try to force their beliefs on others.


i miss:


my cousin stephen. sitting in the garage at the end of the day with a glass of wine with my best frend. my grandparents SO MUCH. living in north syracuse. living in b'ville. my freshman year interpersonal communications class. my "lil brother" scotty. old ska shows at the westcott before everyone decided it wasn't cool to like ska anymore and started going to hardcore shows. when danielle and meagan and i would go bowling and hangout after class while the boys were busy. spending hours with my girlfriends getting dressed and ready to go out for everywhere we went even if it was just to the mall. when brandon used to pick me up from work everyday and we would go back to his house and take naps. the diy show collective and every cool person that was involved in that. laying on the couch on the porch with jordan and talking for hours. when john used to come into spirit to visit me when i was working, and tried to make up stupid excuses for driving all the way to baldwinsville. sleepin over at brandi's when she lived in b'ville and sleeping in the camper. rock and bowl with shauna and steven terry. old school bonfires at dereks house where michael would play rbf songs on the guitar. when myspace was cool and facebook didn't exsist yet. vin fein and his quests. exploding bottles of soda behind wegmans with the boys. thirsty thursdays at my old apartment with my roomates when they got home from scuba diving class. watching heroes and studio 60 with ian every monday after work. going up on the boat with the huntingtons and kt's dad making the best food in the world. lights on the lake and ice skating in clinton square. hanging out at missy's with her and sean every night. carpooling to freshman year at occ. hanging out in neri's in high school and all my henninger crew. being able to play lacrosse without feeling like i am going to die. back when people used to actually enjoy livejournal and not think it was stupid. going for late night walks in radisson with shauna. hanging out with jesse everyday while kt went to work at subway. sitting at denny's with allison, talking til 6am like we were long lost friends. metting jake for lunch downtown. waking up next to someone you love so much you don't want to do anything but be next to them for the rest of your life. driving around in the truck talking for hours. getting lost and always ending up in rochester. doing with laundry with jay. getting coffee and playing in the fountain with colin. camp. ccym. all my friends from church and annual conference. hanging out with mike huber at annual conference. spending the summer days laying on my bed with nate. going to planet fitness in the middle of the night when no one else was there. driving around in the nissan with friends listening to good music. and lots, lots more.



always living in the past

never looking towards the future