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Don't Mess With Women . . .

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but mazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
 
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
 
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
 
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police . . . 

 

 

A Speeding Ticket . . .

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange;

Officer: May I see your driver's license 
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle 
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
 
Officer: The car is stolen  
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
 
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box  
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK!!  
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation

Captain: Sir, can I see your license  
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this  
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it  
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk I was told you said there's a body in it.  
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.  
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too . . .

Indian Brain . . .

This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for the loan officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two
weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.
 
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan. The Indian man handed over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the title and everything checked out.
 
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
 
The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parked it there.
 
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest, which came to $15.41.
 
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000"
 
The Indian replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"
 
Ah, the brain of the Indian...

 

When things go wrong..

When things go wrong,
When sadness fills your heart,
When tears flow in your eyes,
Just let me know,
Because, I want to be there for you,
Because!!!,
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