Mid East Crisis now Permanent



After six decades of war, revolutions, insurgencies, missile launches and attempts to turn the region into radioactive slag, the Middle East crisis has been

officially declared permanent. Media outlets will have “middle east crisis correspondents” that will be able to pick up the same child’s toy from rubble , scowl at the camera, and look sad anywhere from Iraq to Lebanon. Governments worldwide will have official middle-east-crisis-spokesbots which: “Deplore the present crisis and call for negotiation” As the message is unchanging, the robot in question will be a Barbie doll. The formula can be repeated daily at the UN, G8, EU Council of ministers and other impotent talking shops.  Asked about Israel versus Hamas, round 116, a German Spokesbarbie commented: “We call for a cooling off period”

The French Foreign ministry commented “Nothing much has changed, we used to pick a phrase from barrel, the Spokesbarbie just saves us the embarrassment of saying the same old thing. Our favourites are “We call on both sides to show restraint”, ”Our Government stands ready to host crisis talks to further dialogue” Doesn’t matter if it’s the Syrians versus the Lebanese, Shiites versus Sunni or Israel versus everyone else, our Spokesbarbie has the perfect response. A malfunctioning Dutch Barbie uttered: "We deplore the restraint shown by the combatants, and stand ready to help create further unhelpful aggression if only all parties would persist in their hostilities"


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