Arms Makers Announce “Carbon Neutral Killing”


MODA, The Merchants of Death Association, today announced it would be going carbon neutral. A spokesexplosive remarked:” Gun makers in the US are already carbon neutral; we help put an end to thousands of American lives every year. Our ‘Saturday night special” revolver alone has offset any pollution in its manufacture, by doing away with hundreds of SUV driving, over consuming, Americans."

"Mind you, it’s much harder when you’re selling planes designed for strafing peasants and napalming villages. These people have a low carbon footprint to begin with, so you’re going to have to kill a lot of them to help heal the earth. That’s why we’re attaching an anthrax dispenser to the front, and poisoning wells. "

When asked why the Death Association doesn’t use more conventional carbon offsets like tree planting, the spokesexplosive said: “We have a long tradition of doing things the evil way, it’s worked well for hundreds of years, so why change? And frankly, doing things the evil way is good for business- you don't want your death merchant kind and cuddly, do you?”


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