Fruit Loops ashamed to be associated with American politics

The brightly coloured, sugar encrusted breakfast treat, the Fruit Loop, is to try and clear its name. Long associated with Pat Robertson, Glen Beck and an assortment of anti-vaxers, and ‘birthers’ it’s embarrassment was described as ‘terminal’  Claimed a bright orange spokescereal.  “All we want is to be processed, bleached and then eaten.  Me and my fellow loops don’t claim that god is going to burn you if you go to the wrong church . That’s all human, not cereal”

A sociologists, Gail Lertmund, who was prepared to put herself in front of a mic for nothing, commented, “In the early days of American fruitloopery, we had the ’End of the world is nigh’ funsters. However, that wasn’t good enough for the US, we had to go one better.  We hopped on the UFO craze, only to get hijacked by the ‘Government conspiracy to poison us’ loonies.  We flirted with Alien abductions, and AIDS as a government germ weapon, only to be seduced by the ‘Bush organised 9/11’ maniacs.

Finally, we’ve come back to “the end of the world is nigh” fruitcakes and their 2012 apocalypse story.  If I was an inoffensive breakfast cereal, I’d probably change my name to Citrus Golden Bites, or something.  It must be humiliating for the poor carbohydrate.”


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