Savvy bottled water consumers, latch on to bottled air

Showing the critical discrimination which they are so famous for, consumers are flocking to “bottled air” as the next big thing in lifestyle enhancement. Said Sean
McVacuum “ I pay at least ten euros a week for my bottled water, but I just realised I hadn’t spent any money on another essential of life, air. I’m certainly going to spend a large part of my income on that now. What’s more important than air? I need to make sure I’ve got the right brand of air, I don’t want any bargain basement air, or generic branded air, nothing but top class air will be good enough for me”

In a related development, Gucci has announced a range of “Fashionable air”, in a range of invisible colours. Following shortly behind on the “air wave” is Apple, with its I-air, a new, brilliantly designed, and hideously expensive air bottle in a white plastic shell. General Motors, eager to ride the new spending fashion, will release the “Air Car” that can runs on air, and a regular infusion of minced cash to complete its journey. Tag Heuer, a renowned men’s Swiss watch maker remarked “ We’ll be releasing our Air Watch as soon as we can figure out how to make useless dials and a hideously macho metallic look out of air, so don’t hold your breath, so to speak”




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