There is a certain kind of people who are shy and self-conscious. They consider these qualities as reducing their worth as compared with others who seem to act naturally. But self-consciousness in people also has positive benefits. Rather than try to banish self-consciousness, it may be a better alternative to overcome its negative results and promote the positive ones.
Self-consciousness results from an attempt to hide undesirable qualities from others by acting in a certain way. The result can sometimes be artificial and awkward behavior. The negative experience causes people to be shy and withdrawn. This in turn negatively affects their social effectiveness as individuals.
The thinking behind this mental construct is that others will look down on you or have a negative idea about you if they discover your weaknesses. But if you think about it, can you really control how others would react toward you knowing that you have those weaknesses?
You really can't predict nor control other people's reactions toward you. Since you cannot affect their behaviour toward you whatever you do, why would you care what reactions they will have toward you?
So stop playing games and show your natural and true self. They either will like you or not and you have no control about it. It is not your problem; it is theirs. And people would like you more if you show them an authentic and unique self.
However, being polite and respecting other people's views can go a long way in maintaining good social relationships. So you don't have to be brusque and indifferent to other people just because you know that you have no control over how they will behave toward you. Social mores and customs are invented to enable smooth working relationships among people.
People who are self-conscious have developed a unique ability to transform themselves physically or behaviorally into something that they think is more acceptable to other people. This potential can become a good tool for changing oneself to be a better person.
If you have an alternative self-image that you think will make you happier and more effective, you need to effect changes not only in the mental sphere but also at the physical level. And since shy people have this unique ability to effect a versatile mind-body coordination, they can more easily change their personality to a more desirable one. They should take advantage of this positive effect of being self-conscious and use it to carry out changes in themselves that would transform them into more effective individuals.
Shy people can paint a complete and ideal self-image that they can use to transform themselves. For example, they can target a self-image that is socially-active with a strong role in friendship circles or professional groups. They can start to consciously think and behave in a way that that is congruent to the self-image that they have painted for themselves. Constant practice will soon make that ideal self-image become their real self, thus easily making a conversion from a shy and withdrawn person to a more socially-active individual.
People who are self-conscious have the potential of performing well in acting on plays and movies. Good actors have an innate ability to transform themselves into the personality of the role that they are acting out in a play. They can more easily lose their own real self into the role that they are playing, thus making them look like they are acting naturally as another individual. Self-conscious people can become great actors if they want to choose this profession. They do not have to develop an ability to assume the role of the character that they will be playing since they have a natural ability to do this.
So if you're a self-conscious person, minimize all the negative effects that self-consciousness bestows upon you while at the same time using it to easily effect desirable changes in yourself and perhaps explore the exciting world of acting. You have an innate ability to become a good actor. So rather than pity yourself for this undesirable quality, use it instead as a weapon to have a job that can make you lots of money and make you a happier person.
Read my other article on getting proactive and being happier at: http://sites.google.com/site/ournewapproach/get-proactive-and-be-happier-says-a-sorry-old-man.
Read my other article on a good enough reason on which to anchor belief in yourself at: http://sites.google.com/site/themightypenproject/find-a-good-enough-reason-on-which-to-anchor-belief-in-yourself.