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Balancing Act

Boston Comic Con is in 15 days! Two weeks! And I have so much left to do! I feel I am not at all prepared for this. I should have planned this out better, I should have painted more and quicker, I should have ordered prints earlier… I should have taken a break from the “job”. Yes, I should have taken a break from that. But then, if I had, how would I have paid for said prints? I’m stuck in this vicious circle that most artists, at least the ones that are starting out in the art world, know very well. You have to find a balance between doing what you love, and have a roof over your head.

I have to admit, I’m struggling with this concept. I go to work, do what society feels is appropriate for me to do. I pay my bills, support my family, do the “adult” thing. And I don’t mind that: I love taking care of my family! It makes me very happy as a matter of fact. What I struggle with is the fact that I spend so much time at the “job”, that I usually don’t have the right mind set to paint or do art when I come home. My hubby, geek-mate, and all around amazing support, tells me I have to find a balance and to let go of the things that are not important, like the “job”. I know he is right, he usually is! Sometimes, I can do just that, leave it all at the door, come home and be happy and ready for art and love! But, being the over emotional person that I am, and over analyzing everything all the time, most days, I carry the stress of the “job” with me at home. This really prevents me from enjoying art or even simply being able to grab my paintbrushes and go for it. Putting art aside, it even stops me from relaxing and enjoying a good show or movie with my hubby! Sucks!

I am an emotional person, and an emotional painter. I use these emotions to paint. But when they overwhelm me, I get lost in the vicious circle. I think that’s how I stopped painting a few years back. And I would hate to be back in that place! It was dark, and at least in my mind, smelt bad!

But, at this point, there’s no time for a balancing act anymore! It’s action time! I do have a lot to accomplish in the next two weeks, and I have to make it happen. There are no other options. I have waited an entire year for this to happen, and I will not let anything stand in my way! I am too close, and had too long a journey (both art wise and mentally) to get here.

So, I am going after what matters to me. Jumping in and not looking back!