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Stepping Stones

posted Apr 20, 2011, 1:03 PM by Cat Hammes   [ updated Apr 20, 2011, 1:08 PM ]

How to make steping stones out of stumbling blocks

May 20, 2006 I had a traumatic motorcycle accident resulting in traumatic brain injury. Loss of leg and a death of life as I knew it. I don’t want to focus on this I want to focus on the outcome, because that is what is important.

There are statges we all go through with taumatic events, weather it is a thunder storm, tornado or huricane, which do you think is the worst? This one was my hurricane, this was the day life as I knew it died and threw me into a cavern I thought I would never come out of. It was day by day and sometimes a minute at a time that I clung to life.

By living a day at a time I was able to start to take action. Learning to live with memory issues and one leg has its challenges. Learning what boots to wear, what chaps fit how to get into the bathroom and on it went. How to ride and drive my car and truck differently.

 

Than I had to learn how to live again, how to crawl out of that cavern and fill my life and fill the empty holes with new meaning and start to believe the light at the end of the tunnel was not the light of a train.Learning to Forgive. Negative breeds negative and it is as toxic as poison and surrounding myself around positive people and seeking out positive was the tonic I needed. I had to ride my bike because it was the hours spent on my Fatboy clearing my head of emotions that hinder me, those of hate, resentment, and bitterness. I had to replace them learning to develop kindness, compassion and that hugs are ok.

 

Yes, I lost my leg, I lost my job, a marriage disinagrated, yes I lost some of those I thought were my friends, but I gained so very much more!

 

I understand compassion, I understand the importants of thank-you and I love you. I understand the depth of freindship I never knew. I understand a dark empty world that many experience but never come through, I absolutly understand what being forged under pressure means. Today I am so very thankful for every breath I take and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is a gift from God, everyday no matter how hard is, it is a blessed day and for that I am thankful!

 

Everyday I climb on my Fatboy I remember; if I had never experieced the pain, the challeges and gave up hope and never rode again, I would never know how absolutly incrediable comuning with my higher power and as his breath kissing my face at 100 miles an hour and his voice wispers so softly through the wind on those sunny days, or the tears I feel on those cloudy days that the tears flow from above, reminding me he cried first, for me that is powerful. It moves my soul to depths that cause the grief to be softly poured out and quietly forgotten.

 

I am not sure what day I woke up and said I am sick of tripping on all these stones thrown in my path of life and decided to ride and allow them to be used as stepping stones but as I use them I am coming to understand they truely are stepping stones pointing me in the right direction. It is not easy but it is far better than the days that were once filled with fear, unanswered questions and pain. Sometimes all I can do is shut up and ride and it is there that I can hear the voices quiteting my soul.

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