Great truths about life that adults have learned:

      1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

      2) Wrinkles don’t hurt 

      3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts

      4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

      5) Laughing is good exercise.  It’s like jogging on the inside.

      6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Great truths about growing old:

1)   Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2)   Forget the health food.  I need all the preservatives I can get.

3)   When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

4)   You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once 

     got from a roller coaster.

5)   It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, and nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6)   Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

7)   Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


Success:

    At age 4 success is…not peeing in your pants.

    At age 12 success is…having friends.

    At age 16 success is…having a drivers license.

    At age 20 success is…having a love life.

    At age 35 success is…having money.

    At age 50 success is…having money.

    At age 60 success is…having a love life.

    At age 70 success is…having a drivers license.

    At age 75 success is…having friends.

    At age 80 success is…not peeing in your pants.