Santa Crawl 2008

Santa Crawl, Episode III: Return of the Blanta* aka Norfolk Santarchy aka the 3rd Annual Original Santa Crawl will take place on Friday December 5, 2008 in downtown Norfolk and begin at 7:00pm, lasting until the last Santa passes out.

The original founding Santas of the Norfolk Santa Crawl will begin in the Freemason area at Norfolk Santa's new Bute St workshop before heading towards Granby St. All are welcome to start at this location.

Norfolk Santa would like to increase numbers over last years efforts to achieve true SantArchy, so "Spread the Red" and recruit any and all willing souls to participate.

You may have heard about another Santa Crawl taking place the same weekend. But accept no substitutes, we are the originators in this region. And as if you needed confirmation, here are a couple quick reasons why this one is better:

+ Did we mention this is the ORIGINAL group to amass Santas in DTN?

+ There is no up front cost join in. $50 buy in? Not here, just make sure you're in properly themed attire.

+ Unlike those other guys, there is no limit on the number of Santas. 50 max? Heck, Norfolk Santa would like to see double that.


Some suggested variations on the Santa theme for the upcoming crawl:

Hokie Santa - Redneck Santa - Baby Santa - Darth Santa - Goth Santa - Duct Tape Santa - Long John Santa - Biker Santa - Guitar Hero Santa - Santa Jack Skellington - Cowboy Santa - Pimp Santa - Pirate Santa - Douche Bag Santa - Ninja Santa - Santa Jesus

These are just some ideas to get you mind cranking, Santa knows you can do even better.

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Final Update! We are going to assemble/pre-game/fluff our fur/stuff our bellies/practice our "HO-HO-HOs" in his Norfolk workshop at 317 Bute Street, Apt 3 around 7:00pm. Likely departing 8ish from there, we will jingle our way down to Granby Street and get all festive and jolly on their asses.

Pre-Crawl assembly: A quick note about the pregame. While Santa is more than happy to share what he has, this is technically BYOB, and drinks Santa would be proud of are encouraged (spiked hot chocolate, cider, eggnog, etc). In other words, this is one night you can have minty sweet spirits and not be considered less of a man. Well... maybe. If you can't be there at kick off, make sure you have contact info for one of the Original Santas so you can catch up once we depart.

Itinerary: TBA. In previous years we hit Baxter's, Scotty Quixx, Fahrenheit, Kelly's Backstage, AJ Gators, Empire/Little Bar, Velvet, O'Malley's, and have traditionally ended at Hell's Kitchen. This year Santa wouldn't mind making an appearance at Granby Theater or Guad's (door men permitting), as well as any others we've missed before. For you rookies, it is typically stick and move tactics. One drink, or round of shots, and off to the next appearance. Santa is a busy guy, and he wants to spread as much cheer as possible. There should be quite a Santa posse this year, so we may need to divide and conquer. Carrying cash over plastic may help the speed of acquiring holiday spirits (but signing "Santa" on receipts is fun too). But really, when you ask Santa what the "plan" is, don't be offended if he looks at you funny, this is technically SantArchy after all.

Costumes are a must! Santa knows times are tough, but at least make a visible effort to dress in holiday garb. For those still looking to get a traditional Santa Suit, Santa did see that Target/Wal-Mart had nice ones for $50, but Party City has a $30 set up that is identical to the Original Norfolk Santas suit of choice. Target also has Santa and Elf suit printed t-shirts for $6 or $7. With cheap Santa and Elf hats from the dollar store, you can get decked out for less than eight tiny reindeer bucks. In all seriousness, while you don't have to dress as Santa's Little Slut (but he won't mind) the name of the game is participation. The more people that are in Christmas themed costumes, the more of an impact we make. So don't be a Scrooge, unless you're actually dressed as him. Anyone that wants to wear this sweet get up, back flap open, as Santa wear, gets bonus points. Lastly, check the weather. Currently it looks like clear skies, but chilly temps.

Post crawl: While anyone is welcomed to crash at Norfolk Santa's workshop, there is not an infinite supply of floor/couch space. If you have a sleeping bag, you may want to bring it. DDs are always a goods idea too (that's what elves are for). If Santa hears that you drove home less-than-sober, you definitely will be getting a lump of coal this year.

More Santas are always welcome, the more the merrier you might say. So as far as Santa is concerned, feel free to turn this email into chain email and spam away.

Finally, if you still are not excited about Santa coming to town,
A) why the hell not? what's your problem?
and
B) take a cue from Will Ferrell

Let's Go Ho-Ho-Hokies!

//// Santa ////

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You may contact Norfolk Santa by directing questions to: norfolksanta@gmail.com

* For those wondering who Blanta is, that would be Black + Santa = Blanta. In other words, one badass mother f*ckin' Santa.


Subpages (1): Santa Crawl 2009
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