- You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.
- You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.
- When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage
- You use the alcohol percentage-per-kroner standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine.
- You get extremely annoyed when somebody is five to ten minutes minutes late.
- The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
- You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.
- When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
a: he is drunk
b: he is insane
c: he's an American
- When someone asks you for "sex" you assume they mean half-a-dozen.
- You no longer fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet
- Silence is fun.
- You think that riding a bicycle in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do
- You become extremely skilled at assembling prepackaged furniture kits
- You always thinking about of changing ques in a grocery store.
- Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
- It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000kr on alcohol in a single night
- You regard it as sensible to eat ice cream when it is –15C.
- Paying $6 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.
- You start to differentiate between types of snow.
- You accept you must walk 2 kilometres to collect your book/tape from the Post Office, because they don't deliver small packages (or large ones)
- You own a pocket calendar.
- You start avoiding your neighbour.
- It's normal to have an entire pizza just for yourself.
- Sundays no longer seems dull with all the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
- Take along your lunch box to your work place.
- Feel really bad that you did not take a walk when the sun was shinning.
- You only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol.
- You know that going for a coffee is a first date
- All of your conversations resemble a chess game, with each participant quietly and patiently awaiting the other to finish their turn.
- You've owned more than one Volvo.
- You know the names of two or more Swedish ministers.
- You get excited when you hear someone speaking English.
- You travel north on vacation instead of south.
- You start to mix up your c's and k's when writing in English.
- Even the 140kg amateur body-builder uses the handicapped door-opener instead of "straining" himself and you think nothing of it. In fact, you do it yourself.
- You take off your shoes when entering someone's house outside of Sweden.
- A seven-year-old with his own mobile phone seems perfectly sensible.
- You no longer eat yoghurt, you drink it.
- You put both jam and cheese on toast and call it breakfast.
- The only pasta that you eat takes 3 minutes to prepare and is inedible unless drenched in ketchup.
Three for the price of two is the deal of a lifetime, regardless of what it is. Even 3 for the price of 2 1/2 surprises you.
You use a coupon to save 5 kronor on something that costs over 100 kronor.
Christmas is more intimately tied to "Kalle Anka" than to Santa Claus
You actually pay an annual television fee without feeling infringed.
You tease people from Skåne about their "Swedish".
Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol
You automatically try to dress the same as everyone else.
When you stop converting Swedish crowns into your native currency.
You can pick out the real blondes from the fake blondes.
You get used to seeing dogs tied up outside of supermarkets and you stop to pat them.
Paying $3,000 for a dog seems normal.
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