The Swedish Way

IF YOU START DOING  ANY OF THESE  THINGS  BELOW, THEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE LIVED  IN SWEDEN FOR A LONG TIME

  • You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.
  • You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.
  • When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage
  • You use the alcohol percentage-per-kroner standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine.
  • You get extremely annoyed when somebody  is five  to  ten minutes minutes late.
  • The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
  • You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.
  • When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
    a: he is drunk
    b: he is insane
    c: he's an American
  • When someone asks you for "sex" you assume they mean half-a-dozen.
  • You no longer  fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet
  • Silence is fun.
  • You think that riding a bicycle in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do
  • You become extremely skilled at assembling prepackaged furniture kits
  • You always thinking about  of changing ques in a grocery store.
  • Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
  • It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000kr on alcohol in a single night
  • You regard it as sensible to eat ice cream when it is –15C.
  • Paying $6 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.
  • You start to differentiate between types of snow.
  • You accept you must walk 2 kilometres to collect your book/tape from the Post Office, because they don't deliver small packages (or large ones)
  • You own a pocket calendar.
  • You start avoiding your neighbour.
  • It's normal to have an entire pizza just for yourself.
  • Sundays no longer seems dull with all the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
  • Take along your lunch box to your work place.
  • Feel really bad that you did not take a walk when the sun was shinning.
  • You only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol.
  •  You know that going for a coffee is a first date
  • All of your conversations resemble a chess game, with each participant quietly and patiently awaiting the other to finish their turn.
  • You've owned more than one Volvo.
  •  You know the names of two or more Swedish ministers.
  • You get excited when you hear someone speaking English.
  •  You travel north on vacation instead of south.
  • You start to mix up your c's and k's when writing in English.
  •  Even the 140kg amateur body-builder uses the handicapped door-opener instead of "straining" himself and you think nothing of it. In fact, you do it yourself.
  • You take off your shoes when entering someone's house outside of Sweden.
  • A seven-year-old with his own mobile phone seems perfectly sensible.
  • You no longer eat yoghurt, you drink it. 
  •  You put both jam and cheese on toast and call it breakfast.
  • The only pasta that you eat takes 3 minutes to prepare and is inedible unless drenched in ketchup.
  •  Three for the price of two is the deal of a lifetime, regardless of what it is. Even 3 for the price of 2 1/2 surprises you.

  • You use a coupon to save 5 kronor on something that costs over 100 kronor.

  • Christmas is more intimately tied to "Kalle Anka" than to Santa Claus

  •  You actually pay an annual television fee without feeling infringed.

  • You tease people from Skåne about their "Swedish".

  •  Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol

  •  You automatically try to dress the same as everyone else.

  • When you stop converting Swedish crowns into your native currency.

  •  You can pick out the real blondes from the fake blondes.

  • You get used to seeing dogs tied up outside of supermarkets and you stop to pat them.

  • Paying $3,000 for a dog seems normal.

     

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