The Play

By Lucas A. Morris

Characters

O’BRIAN – A Playwright

ROBINSON – A Playwright

MR. VISCIOUS – A Producer

Setting

The stage has an office look to it. There is a table in the center of the stage with three chairs surrounding it. There is paper, pencils, and three mugs of water on the table.

(As the curtains or lights come up there are two writers sitting in the chair on the left and the chair on the right.)

O’BRIAN: I wonder where MR. VISCIOUS is? He told us to be here at 1 o'clock

sharp.

(Door opens and in walks MR. VISCIOUS. The two writers stand up)

MR. VISCIOUS: Good mornin boys!

O’BRIAN & ROBINSON: (While shaking MR. VISCIOUS's hand) Good morning MR.

VISCIOUS!

MR. VISCIOUS: That's enough of that. Take a seat boys.

(O’BRIAN & ROBINSON take a seat hastily)

ROBINSON: (Nervously) Yes, MR. VISCIOUS. (Panicky) Have we done something

wrong? We are completely sorry, and we will work even harder to make up for it!

MR. VISCIOUS: Settle down boy! I'm not upset with anything you've done.

O’BRIAN & ROBINSON: (Together, surprised) You're not?

MR. VISCIOUS: Not whatsoever. I've called you in here today because I think you two

are my best writers.

O’BRIAN: Really?

MR. VISCIOUS: (Pats writers on the back) Of course my boy! I want to write and

produce a play that is just amazing. That's the reason I wanted you two here today.

O’BRIAN & ROBINSON: Oh, thank you sir!

ROBINSON: (adding) We'll do our best!

MR. VISCIOUS: Glad to hear that boys. Oh and would you boys like a cup of coffee?

Regular or Decaffeinated?

O’BRIAN: Well sir that sounds like some strong stuff, I better stick to water.

ROBINSON: Same goes here.

O’BRIAN: So sir, what is the story you had in mind?

MR. VISCIOUS: (With a puzzled look on face) Huh?

O’BRIAN: Umm, don't you have any ideas for the type of play you want to produce?

MR. VISCIOUS: Heck no! That’s why I'm the producer and you’re the writer. I'll

just let you know if I think it’s a good idea or not.

ROBINSON: Ok sir. We’ll get right on it.

(there is a pause, and everyone just sits there and stare off into "space")

MR. VISCIOUS: Well….

ROBINSON: Well what sir?

MR. VISCIOUS: (with a hint of anger in it) Get a move on it!

O’BRIAN & ROBINSON: Yes sir!

(the two writers sit there with thoughtful looks on their faces)

ROBINSON: Hmm…(short pause) I got it! The story can start off, on the ocean.

MR. VISCIOUS: The ocean eh?

ROBINSON: Yeah! I also see a, a…

O’BRIAN: A ship!

ROBINSON: Yes, yes, a ship! On this ship there will be, be…. A disgruntled sea

captain!

O’BRIAN: And the captain could be….

MR. VISCIOUS: (cutting off O’BRIAN) Hold it just one minute! It’s been done boys.

ROBINSON: Excuse me sir?

MR. VISCIOUS: Ever heard of Moby Dick?

ROBINSON: Well yes sir, but what does that have to do with….

MR. VISCIOUS: (cutting off O’BRIAN, with a tone of finality in his voice) Its already

been done that’s what.

O’BRIAN: Ok sir if you say so.

(they then return to their thoughtful thinking)

ROBINSON: No go huh? Hmm…

O’BRIAN: (trailing off) What if…

MR. VISCIOUS: What if what?

O’BRIAN: Oh… nah never mind. You probably wouldn't be interested.

MR. VISCIOUS: (with great curiosity) Come on tell me. What is it boy?

O’BRIAN: Well what if the story was in the jungle?

MR. VISCIOUS: Jungle eh. Very interesting. Please continue.

O’BRIAN: Yeah and there's this little boy. Who lived in the jungle, because…

ROBINSON: His parents were killed by a tiger. And now, the tiger would be after the

boy.

O’BRIAN: Yeah and the tiger's name should be, should be… hmm I can't think of a

name.

MR. VISCIOUS: (standing up, and throwing arms up in air) Sheer brilliance! That's

what it is.

O’BRIAN: (with excitement) What his name?

MR. VISCIOUS: No my boy! I'm talking about your idea.

O’BRIAN: Really sir? You think so?

MR. VISCIOUS: Are you kidding? I think its crap. Sounds like some cheesy story

Disney would try to make into a movie. (O’BRIAN hangs down his head, MR. VISCIOUS looks a little agitated) Lets move on shall we.

ROBINSON: How about a horror story?

MR. VISCIOUS: Ahh, a horror story. (hand on chin, with a look of thoughtfulness)

What type of horror story? Like is it a blood and gore type, or is it more of a creepy, spooky story?

ROBINSON: Well I'm thinking more of a creepy story.

MR. VISCIOUS: Yes, a creepy story. Everyone likes creepy movies. (excitedly) What

do you have in mind for it?

ROBINSON: How about a mad scientist?!?

MR. VISCIOUS: (excitedly) (gets on the edge of his seat, and leans on the table) Uh

huh go on!

(O’BRIAN leans back and rolls his eyes)

ROBINSON: The mad scientist will have a laboratory, and a deformed assistant. And…

O’BRIAN: (interjecting) OOoooooo! Another mad scientist and his little goony.

(sarcastically) Yeah, that’s original.

ROBINSON: (angrily) What?

MR. VISCIOUS: Yes O’BRIAN, what are you trying to say?

O’BRIAN: Oh come on. This sounds like all the other horror stories out there. I mean,

almost all horror stories have a mad scientist in it that brings back some huge ugly monster from the dead. Or maybe they make and drink some potion that turns them into one.

MR. VISCIOUS: Well you know he does have a point.

ROBINSON: W-Well, who says that mine is going to be like it huh? Answer me that!

O’BRIAN: Oh is that so? Well then exactly what was yours going to be about then?

ROBINSON: I-I, w-well I uh, umm. Now look at what you made me do. You made me

forget what it was about.

O’BRIAN: Hmm, maybe its because it was going to be like that.

(ROBINSON stands up)

ROBINSON: (angrily) It most certainly wasn't anything like that! Y-Your just mad that

I had a good idea you, you little, little, Doo-doo head.

O’BRIAN: Ah! How dare you say something so, so rude. I'll make you regret you said

that! (shakes a fist)

(MR. VISCIOUS stands up)

MR. VISCIOUS: Boys! Boys! Settle down this instant!

(O’BRIAN & ROBINSON keep staring at each other, menacingly)

MR. VISCIOUS: Sit down NOW!

(O’BRIAN & ROBINSON slowly sit back in their seats)

MR. VISCIOUS: That’s more like it. Now lets move on with business shall we?

O’BRIAN: Tell me what you think of this idea.

MR. VISCIOUS: Ok.

ROBINSON: Why? It's not like its going to be any good.

(O’BRIAN glares at ROBINSON)

O’BRIAN: (draw it out) Like I was saying… (turns back towards MR. VISCIOUS)

There is this small farm girl from a Mid-Western state. Then there will be a huge storm on the farm.

MR. VISCIOUS: Like a tornado?

O’BRIAN: Yes a tornado. Then I think the storm should whisk the house away to a

mystical place.

MR. VISCIOUS: I like the sound of this. What will happen at this place?

(ROBINSON acts as though he's not paying attention)

O’BRIAN: She'll meet many different people. Like she could meet like a giant

scaredy cat, and a guy made of nickel. I'm also thinking of another guy she meets,

and this one could be stuffed full of something like feathers. And…

ROBINSON: (interjecting) You haven't got a brain! So how about you stuff those

feathers in your pipe and smoke it!

O’BRIAN: (standing up) Uh, how dare you say such an insult! And besides its not as though you have any better ideas you, you, little mamma's boy!

ROBINSON: (taken aback) Oh, don't you even start with my mamma! If you say

something about my momma I'll slap you so hard that your mamma will feel it!

(ROBINSON stands up)

O’BRIAN: You just go ahead and try, you little wimp!

MR. VISCIOUS: Boys act like adults and sit down!

(O’BRIAN & ROBINSON sit)

(as MR. VISCIOUS is talking O’BRIAN takes a piece of paper and starts to crumble it up)

Now boys can we at least get along to get this finished?

(O’BRIAN throws and hits ROBINSON in the face with the paper)

(ROBINSON then stands up grabs his mug and throws the water on O’BRIAN)

O’BRIAN: Look at what you did! That’s it mamma’s boy get over here.

(O’BRIAN nearly jumps over the table to grab a hold of ROBINSON, they then start rolling around pulling hair and slapping each other as if it was a catfight. MR. VISCIOUS takes a little bit to get it broken up)

MR. VISCIOUS: That’s it! Sit down both of you!

(everyone gathers themselves up and sit back down)

MR. VISCIOUS: (puts hand on head and leans on table) So, exactly what do we have

for a play?

(everyone just sits there and just looks at each other)

O’BRIAN: Well sir, all that I see we have is three men sitting around the table trying to

come up with a good idea for a play.

ROBINSON: Hey the shmuck might actually be on to something. Yeah now that I think

of it that might be a great play idea!

(ROBINSON & O’BRIAN celebrate, shake hands, etc.)

MR. VISCIOUS: (breaking moment of glory) What are you all celebrating about?

That’s the most stupid idea I’ve heard for a play. Sit down boys, no on second

thought get out your both fired.

(O’BRIAN & ROBINSON scamper for the door as the curtain falls)