Bullet Train: Is It Off-The-Rails?

Usually when I write my reviews, I have a little story to share before I get started. This time I don't, so uh, let's get started I guess?

Bullet Train is directed by David Leitch and stars Brad Pitt, Joey King, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Brian Tyree Henry, Andrew Koji, and Hiroyuki Sanada. An unlucky assassin named Ladybug (Pitt) has a simple mission: Grab a briefcase on a bullet train and get off. Little does he know that there are other assassins on this train and his simple mission is about to get a lot more complicated. With that out of the way, let's dive into the review!

I've actually been looking forward to this movie for a bit. When the first trailer came out a couple of months ago, I was hooked. I really liked the action and the premise seemed interesting. While the movie doesn't really live up to my expectations, I had a good time with it. Part of the reason is the cast, which is great. Brad Pitt as Ladybug was one of the highlights of the film for me. As mentioned earlier, his character is extremely unlucky. He actually doesn't even want to go on the mission. Ladybug is seeing a therapist and throughout the movie talks about what they've discussed. It's really funny. He's the most laid-back assassin I've ever seen. What makes it even funnier is that he doesn't want to kill anyone, which is highlighted by the fact he refuses to bring a gun with him. Seeing him try to pass on what he's learned to the others was hysterical. It was really cool seeing Pitt in a fun role like this. In addition to him, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry stole the show, too. They play the Twins, Tangerine and Lemon. Their chemistry was off-the-charts and it felt like they were adoptive brothers. The funny thing about Lemon is that he carries a little Thomas the Tank Engine sticker book and compares everyone to the characters. They were hysterical. Another thing I really liked was the action, which is kinda important since this is an action film. The location of the movie made the fight scenes more interesting, too. In the trailer, there's a scene where Ladybug and Lemon are fighting each other. The catch is that they have to be quiet since there are other people on the train. It was very funny. Luckily the trailer didn't give the whole thing away. The fights themselves were kinda dirty and grounded (for the most part). It felt gritty. I liked seeing everything in an enclosed environment. They're pretty much just fighting on a train. The humor worked, too (for the most part). One of my favorite bits was when Ladybug and Tangerine just finished beating the crap out of each other, and Ladybug is telling him all about what his therapist taught him. It's really funny. For a lot of the movie, Ladybug is kind of oblivious to everything that's going on. There's a great scene when the White Wolf (Bad Bunny) picks him up and threatens to kill him. Ladybug just says helplessly, "I don't even know you!"

There were quite a few things that didn't work for me. I've said many times that I'm fine with long movies. I actually prefer them. Bullet Train clocks in at just a little over two hours. It didn't need to be this long. Granted, two hours really isn't that long of a time, but there was so many characters that were being thrown at you. Each of them was somehow connected to another, but I feel like some of this could've been cut. I felt like I needed to be writing things down at times. It was also tricky to understand some of the characters because they had thick British accents, but that's much more of a me problem. Maybe if they cut down on some of the characters and mixed the backstories, it would've been better. Some of the assassins have elaborate backgrounds, but are barely in it. I get it's supposed to be a joke, but it comes at the expense of the movie. While I really liked the action scenes, some of them got to be a little convoluted at times, much like the story. It didn't necessarily take me out, I just thought it was a little out there. As I said earlier, a lot of the humor works, but at certain points, it doesn't. The Thomas the Tank Engine thing was funny the first few times, but after a while it was becoming a little too much. This next part isn't really the movie's fault. A lot of stuff was given away in the marketing for the film. Some things that were supposed to be a surprise were spoiled in the trailers, which really stinks. Try to avoid any trailers if you can.

To wrap everything up, Bullet Train is a fun time. The characters (particularly Pitt's, Johnson's, and Henry's) were great, the action was cool, and, for the most part, the humor worked. Unfortunately, the movie is a little too long, some things are over the top and convoluted, and some of the jokes don't work. With all of that being said, it was still a fun movie! If I were to rate it, I'd give Bullet Train a 7.5/10. Also, be sure to stick around through the credits a little bit because there is a mid-credits scene.