Quotes and stuff

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“Nothing kills a twelve-dollar buzz like a two-dollar sandwich.” - Dan Barnes.

Tim Schenzel, over the microphone at Rhonda’s Rockfest 2004: “We’ve entered into a partnership with Zylstra Harley Davidson recently. Well, I guess you could call it a partnership...”  To which Dan replied, “Well, I guess you could call it a fish if you wanted...”

Several of the Clams were gathered around the bar at Rhonda’s, a local watering hole. The TV was showing a documentary on Egypt. “Hey,” said one Chris Radloff, “what are those things called, anyway?” Rick Swanson answered, “It’s a sarcophagus.” Dan, who hadn’t been paying much attention to anything but his Captain Morgan and Coke, said, “What’s a sarcophagus?” To which Tim replied, “You know, I think my uncle died of cancer of the sarcophagus.”

Tim, introducing the band on-stage: “...he plays a little bass guitar, he’s doing a lot more vocals now, plays the bagpipes naked at home watching the Animal Planet channel, Mr. Dan Barnes.”

Dan, on golf: “A man once told me I only have one problem with my swing. He said I’m standing too close to the ball - when it lands.” Dan continued, “If the fun in golf is hitting the ball, then the more times you hit it, the more fun you have.”

“I beat a turkey to death with a brake shoe once...” - Tim Schenzel

After a song (in the middle of the set) bombed - “I’d like to thank everyone for holding their applause until the end of the show.” - Russ Howard

“Party on, Girth!” - Tim Schenzel to Randy. We don’t know why he said that, but it’s funny.