Jazz Humor

 A vocalist hired a piano player to accompany her at an audition for a night-club job. After listening to a couple of songs, the owner said, "Can you sing 'When Sonny Gets Blue?"  It's my favorite song. If you can sing it, you're hired."
The singer whispered to the piano player, "I don't know it all the way through."
The piano player said, "I know it.Go ahead and start, and I'll prompt you." Reluctantly, she began: "When Sonny Gets Blue . . ." She looked at the piano player for help.
He whispered confidently, "B-flat minor ninth."
One night, a front man said to the drummer, "When the band starts to swing, I want you to play more on the ride cymbal."
The drummer replied, "When the band starts to swing, will you please raise your hand?"
A female vocalist goes for an audition for a show. When it's her turn, she calls "I'll Remember April" in D-flat.
"D-Flat?" the piano player exclaims.
Taken aback, she replies "Yes, D-flat. Is that too fast?"
A band at a Mafia wedding decided to take requests.  Nunzio walks up and asks "Uh, do youse guys know da song "Strangers in da Night"?
The band leader says, "Sure we know that one."
Nunzio says "Hey!  Dat's great! But I got just one favor - could youse play it in 5/4 time?"
"It's usually played in 4/4 time?" the band leader said.
"Yeah, but dis here's a special occasion, know whut I mean?"
The band discusses amongst themselves, till the leader turns and says "I don't think we'll have any problems."
Nunzio turns and yells out "Hey Uncle Vinnie! C'mon up here and sing!"
Uncle Vinnie walks up to the mike as the band begins the intro, and then starts to sing... "Strangers in da f----n' night..."


Trumpet Jokes
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
  Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
What's the difference between a Trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?
  I don't know either.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
  Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
  "Hi. I'm better than you."
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