Shackles & Shovels

Rotten relationships, warped business deals and limp self-image! All these are consequences of what we think, of what we believe. What really ticks my anger boxes is that these thoughts, these opinions that so limit us, are of our own choosing! Really? Yes, the ridiculous “BS” that we subject ourselves to is all self-inflicted.

Every time we go through some experience, we code it into our belief system, either as something that will limit and prohibit us or as something that would empower and give us permission. Limiting permission beliefs are like a shackle around your ankle designed to slow you down.  Empowering permission beliefs are like a shovel to a gardener – useful!

So, it seems to me that people will randomly code their experience without giving a moment’s thought to the results of their beliefs. A man starts smoking again after a short attempt to quit. A lady breaks her diet and realizes she lost no weight. These may seem trivial now, but should these two people code their experience negatively it could impact their lives in a powerful way. One becomes a hobo as he believes he has no drive or determination to carry anything through and decides to give up on life. The other becomes diabetic fearing she cannot say no out of her own free will.

It is simple. What you believe controls you. It controls the way in which you do things. Controls the kind of permission you give yourself. Are you in an abusive relationship? Why do you stay? Do you believe that 

person is the best you can do? Do you fear being alone so will tolerate the abuse? Poor worth makes the shackles seem comfortable, and gives us permission to suffer.

What about your permission to succeed? Are you allowed little victories? Are you allowed to be happy? What is your health permission like? May you be well? May you be slim? It may sound ridiculous to ask questions like this, but the reality is we have answers to them all! The manner in which you answer them will reflect the success that you will have in the 3 keys areas of life – Purpose, Reward and Connection.

It is important that we code our experiences correctly. Even bad experiences can produce a positive belief that will empower you. It is important to fail forwards. Learn from the mistakes and make adjustments to get the success you want. Measure the results. Gauge your beliefs and ensure you avoid shackles, embrace shovels.

Here are 5 easy questions to evaluate if your belief is a shackle or a shovel:

1.  1. Does the belief make you feel worth less, or worthwhile? If the belief makes you feel less than your true worth, ditch the belief for something more positive.


     2.Does the belief make you disconnect or engage? When we disconnect from our loved ones, our purpose we lose direction and start to become motionless and stagnant. It’s time to engage in your life, take command of the vehicle that is you.

3. Is the outcome detrimental or beneficial to you? I recently discovered win-lose relationship end in tragedy for the one making all the sacrifices. Beliefs that have a long-term benefit for all fosters strong self-confidence.


4.  4. Does the belief encourage you to be passive or active? Beliefs that promote passivity are debilitating and detrimental to positive growth. Rather cling to beliefs that get you moving forward.


5.  5.  Does it blame or does it assume accountability? As soon as you point a finger at someone else as the source of pain, failure or discomfort – you will lose the power to change and grow. Always assume responsibility and ask – what did I learn? How can I do this better?

The above are five simple questions that have the power to remove the 
shackles and forge them into shovels. These are easy questions to ask, but they do require ‘honesty to self’ answers. Freedom from limiting beliefs is rewarding and opens you to the beneficial opportunities of self-development and empowerment. Happy gardening!!