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The Shop Around the Corner

The Lux Radio Theatre

The Shop Around the Corner

Jun 23 1941



CAST:


The Lux Team:

ANNOUNCER

HOST

LIBBY

HUSBAND

WIFE

SALLY


Dramatis Personae:

MARTIN

KAREN

MR. PETERS, kindly

MATUSCHEK, high-strung shop owner

JOEY, errand boy

LILY

MISS BAKER

MR. HARVEY, a suck-up and a jerk

LADY

MAN

2ND LADY

DETECTIVE

WAITER

GRANDMA

OFFICER

3RD LADY

MABEL




ANNOUNCER: Lux presents Hollywood! 


MUSIC: LUX THEME ... THEN BEHIND ANNOUNCER--


ANNOUNCER: The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Claudette Colbert and Don Ameche in "The Shop Around the Corner." Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. 


MUSIC: UP AND OUT


SOUND: APPLAUSE


HOST: Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. In the summer your producer's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of Don Ameche and Claudette Colbert. Summer arrived officially day before yesterday at eleven thirty-four a.m., so we've got Claudette and Don right here tonight. Since they were also right here last year about this time, I suggest we consider them a sign of the season, like the ball game on the corner lot or the first picnic. 


You'll hear these two stars in "The Shop Around the Corner," adapted from the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer picture success. The play has an air of goodwill to it, a gay mood of laughter and romance that few motion pictures have matched. It's a story of a little group of people who work together in a certain little shop around the corner -- a kind of world in itself, where there's a share of good and bad luck for everyone. 


Usually, of course, the shop around any corner is where you get Lux Flakes. But we had a letter the other day from a woman who didn't take any chances on finding it that close. She was going to Liberia, West Africa, so she prudently took some along -- and it pretty nearly got her the reputation of being a witch doctor. "A few weeks ago," she writes, "I decided to have a bedspread washed, so I took it and a box of Lux to the native wash man. When he saw me put the Lux Flakes in the water and just swish them around, you should have seen his face. Then I put a few flakes on his hand and then a little water and told him to rub his hands. He did, and when the suds appeared, he thought it was white man's magic." That's a good thing to know if you ever go to West Africa, but you'll find the magic of Lux Flakes just as useful right here at home.


And now the magic of radio brings you "The Shop Around the Corner," starring Claudette Colbert as Karen and Don Ameche as Martin, with Felix Bressart as Peters. And here's the curtain for the first act.


MUSIC: INTRODUCTION ... THEN BEHIND HOST--


HOST: The firm of Matuschek and Company, Novelties and Leather Goods, has been doing business in the same location for thirty-five years. It's not a large store, nor is it small. Its merchandise is not cheap, nor is it expensive. This is just an ordinary everyday shop, and its clerks are ordinary everyday people. At eight fifty-five each morning, they stand behind the counters, dusting the goods and gossiping. At nine sharp, they snap quickly to attention as Mr. Matuschek enters the front door and, in a ringing voice, delivers his first order of the day.


SOUND: SHOP DOOR CLOSES


MATUSCHEK: Joey! 


JOEY: (STAMMERS NERVOUSLY) Yes, Mr. Matuschek? 


MATUSCHEK: Joey, run across the street and get me some bicarbonate of soda. 


JOEY: Yes, Mr. Matuschek! 


SOUND: MATUSCHEK'S STEPS THROUGH STORE, IN BG


MATUSCHEK: Good morning, Lily.


LILY: Good morning, Mr. Matuschek.


MATUSCHEK: Good morning, Miss Baker. 


BAKER: Morning, Mr. Matuschek. 


MATUSCHEK: Good morning, Mr. Peters.


PETERS: Good morning, Mr. Matuschek. 


MATUSCHEK: Good morning, Mr. Harvey. 


HARVEY: Oh, good morning, Mr. Matuschek! 


MATUSCHEK: Good morning, Mr. Martin.


MARTIN: Morning, sir.


MATUSCHEK: Er, Mr. Martin, I'd like to see you in a few minutes on a very important matter. 


MARTIN: Yes, sir. Any time you say. 


SOUND: MATUSCHEK'S OFFICE DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES AS HE EXITS ... THE STAFF MURMURS, IN BG


PETERS: Well, Martin, it won't be long now.


MARTIN: What do you mean? 


PETERS: Well, I hear you had dinner with Mr. Matuschek and his wife last night.


MARTIN: Oh, that. Yeah. 


PETERS: And now this morning he wants to see you about something important. You'll be the manager pretty soon. 


MARTIN: (WITH A CHUCKLE) Oh, I don't know. (CONFIDENTIAL) Say, Peters? 


PETERS: Hm? 


MARTIN: Want to hear something nice? 


PETERS: Huh? You're not a manager yet? 


MARTIN: No, no, no, no. It's a letter from a girl. 


SOUND: LETTER UNFOLDED


PETERS: (DISMISSIVE) Oh, a girl. 


MARTIN: Yeah, listen to this. Listen. (READS) "My heart was trembling as I walked into the post office and there you were lying in Box Two-Three-Seven. I took you out of your envelope and read you -- read you right there. Oh, my dear friend--" 


PETERS: (INTERRUPTS, PUZZLED) What - what is all this? 


MARTIN: Well, you see, I was looking through the ads in the Sunday paper and I ran across one that said-- Er, here. Here, I'll show you. 


SOUND: NEWSPAPER UNFOLDED


MARTIN: See? 


PETERS: (READS) "Modern girl wishes to correspond on cultural subjects, anonymously, with intelligent, sympathetic young man.


MARTIN: That's me. 


PETERS: (READS) "Address: Dear Friend, Box Two-Three-Seven." (UNIMPRESSED) Oh, I know those ads. The papers are full of them. How long has this been going on? 


MARTIN: Well, we've exchanged four letters. And, Peters, she's no ordinary girl. Er, listen -- here on page eight she says, er-- (MUMBLES) Oh, here. (READS) "Are you tall or short? Are your eyes brown or blue? Don't tell me. What does it matter, so long as our minds meet?" 


PETERS: Ah, you are right. That's beautiful. 


MARTIN: Yeah, it is. And then she says: (READS) "There are so many great and beautiful things to discuss in this world of ours, it would be wasting these precious moments if we told each other the vulgar details of how we earn our daily bread. I agree with you when you say--" (TO PETERS) Er, she means me. (READS) "What are men and women for but to rise above the stupid necessities of the eight-hour day?" 


PETERS: Mm-hmm. You said that? 


MARTIN: Sure. You see--


SOUND: MATUSCHEK'S OFFICE DOOR OPENS


MATUSCHEK: (CALLS, FROM OFF) Martin!


MARTIN: Er, yes, Mr. Matuschek? 


MATUSCHEK: (APPROACHES) Martin, I can get five dozen more of these cigarette boxes from Nichols Brothers. (CHUCKLES) What do you think of it? I think it's great! You see, you open it up like this--


SOUND: BOX OPENS


MUSIC: BOX PLAYS A TINKLY VERSION OF THE UKRAINIAN TUNE "OCHI CHYORNYE" A.K.A "DARK EYES" ... IN BG


MARTIN: No, Mr. Matuschek, that's not for us. 


MATUSCHEK: Eh, you haven't even listened to it. It plays "Ochi Chyornye."


MARTIN: Well, even if it played Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, I'd still say no. I don't like the whole idea.


MUSIC: OUT BEHIND--


MATUSCHEK: (IRRITATED) It's wonderful how quickly you can make up your mind. I've been in this business for thirty-five years and it took me a whole hour to decide that I like it! But I guess you're a genius. (CALLS) Er, Harvey? 


HARVEY: Yes, Mr. Matuschek? 


MATUSCHEK: Listen, what do you think of this? Look. 


SOUND: BOX OPENS


MUSIC: BOX PLAYS TUNE ... THEN BEHIND MATUSCHEK--


MATUSCHEK: Now - now, I want your honest opinion. Don't let me influence you. Hear that? (CHUCKLES) That's a very popular classic. 


MUSIC: OUT


MATUSCHEK: Well? Miss Baker? 


BAKER: (CAREFULLY) I, um-- I think people who smoke cigarettes and who love to hear "Ochi Chyornye" will like it. 


MATUSCHEK: Harvey, what do you think? 


HARVEY: (SUCKING UP BRAZENLY) I'd even go further. I think it'll make music lovers out of cigarette smokers and cigarette smokers out of music lovers. I think it's sensational. 


MATUSCHEK: (PLEASED) Well! Mr. Martin? 


MARTIN: I still think it's terrible.


MATUSCHEK: Give me one reason!


MARTIN: All right. Let's say a man smokes, er, twenty cigarettes a day, so he opens the box twenty times and twenty times he has listen to "Ochi Chyornye," and besides that, it's imitation leather and cheap glue. In two weeks, the whole thing will come apart and all you have left is "Ochi Chyornye." 


MATUSCHEK: (IRRITATED) I know it! I know it's imitation leather! You don't have to tell me! You just sell things and let me do the buying! 


LILY: Excuse me, Mr. Matuschek. Nichols Brothers are on the phone. 


MATUSCHEK: I'll take it here. 


LILY: Yes, sir. 


SOUND: RECEIVER UP


MATUSCHEK: Hello, Nichols? This is Matuschek. Cancel the rest of those cigarette boxes. They're terrible!


SOUND: RECEIVER DOWN


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: SHOP DOOR CLOSES


MARTIN: Well, good morning, madam. 


KAREN: Good morning.


MARTIN: Anything I can do for you? We're having a sale on purses today. 


KAREN: Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't want to buy anything. 


MARTIN: Oh, well, that's perfectly all right. If you wanna look around, just make yourself at home. 


KAREN: Thank you. I wonder if I could see Mr. Matuschek.


MARTIN: Well, Mr. Matuschek is very busy at the moment. If you'd tell me what you wanted, I'm sure I could take care of you. 


KAREN: Well, I noticed in the window that you're having a summer sale. 


MARTIN: Oh, yes, yes, madam. Everything is reduced twenty-five percent. 


KAREN: Really? That's wonderful. I guess you'll do a big business. 


MARTIN: Oh, there's no question about it. We'll probably have such a big rush we won't be able to take care of the customers. 


KAREN: Then you ought to have some extra help.


MARTIN: Oh, we probably will. 


KAREN: In that case, maybe you can use me. I'm looking for a job. 


MARTIN: (SURPRISED) You--? Uh-- What's the idea of letting me go through this whole routine, hm? 


KAREN: Oh, well, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to. Do you think you could help me to get a job here? 


MARTIN: I wish I could, but there isn't a chance. 


KAREN: But you just told me you'd need some extra help because of the rush. 


MARTIN: Look-- Look around for yourself. You can see what kind of business we're doing. (SARCASTIC) Every half hour another customer rushes in.


KAREN: Well, listen, I've had a lot of experience.


MARTIN: Yeah, but I know the situation here--


KAREN: (INTERRUPTS, QUICKLY) I worked for two years at Blake and Company and I left of my own accord, and before that, I was with Blayton Brothers for ten months.


MARTIN: Now listen, if it were up to me, I'd put you to work, but I'm not the boss, so--


KAREN: (INTERRUPTS) Then why don't you let me see him? 


MARTIN: Because he's in a very bad mood today. 


KAREN: I'll take a chance. Maybe I can cheer him up. 


MARTIN: Now listen, madam, I've been here nine years. I know Mr. Matuschek inside and out. I know exactly what his attitude would be. I can tell you word for word exactly what he'd say. He'd--


MATUSCHEK: (CALLS, FROM OFF) Mr. Martin? Come here! 


MARTIN: (LOW, TO KAREN) Now you see what you've done? 


KAREN: Oh, I'm sorry.


MATUSCHEK: (OFF) Mr. Martin? 


SOUND: MARTIN'S STEPS TO MATUSCHEK BEHIND--


MARTIN: Er, yeah, coming, Mr. Matuschek. 


MATUSCHEK: So! So, Mr. Martin, you know every reaction of mine, eh? You know exactly what I think even before I think it. You're not only a genius, you're a mind reader. 


MARTIN: But, Mr. Matuschek-- 


MATUSCHEK: Never mind now, I'll take care of this customer. 


MARTIN: But, Mr. Matuschek-- 


MATUSCHEK: Quiet!


SOUND: MATUSCHEK'S STEPS TO KAREN


MATUSCHEK: Er, good morning, madam. I'm Mr. Matuschek.


KAREN: Oh, good morning, Mr. Matuschek. 


MATUSCHEK: Please have a seat. 


KAREN: Thank you. Mr. Matuschek, I was at Blake and Company-- 


MATUSCHEK: (INTERRUPTS) I'm sure you'll find much nicer things in our shop.


KAREN: No, I - I mean I worked there. I'm looking for a job.


MATUSCHEK: A job? You mean--? (QUICKLY) Oh, no-no-no-no, that's impossible. It's out of the question. Good day.


KAREN: Oh, but, Mr. Matuschek-- 


MATUSCHEK: (QUICKLY) I have no time, no time, I'm very busy. 


KAREN: Mr. Matuschek, please! I've got to have a job. And I'm good. I know merchandise, really I do. Please just give me a chance.


MATUSCHEK: (CHUCKLES) Oh, so you know merchandise? Er, let me ask you something. Would you buy a box like this? 


SOUND: BOX OPENS


MUSIC: BOX PLAYS TUNE ... THEN IN BG--


MATUSCHEK: Well?


KAREN: Well, I couldn't buy anything at the moment. 


MATUSCHEK: No, no. (CHUCKLES) I just wanted your opinion -- your honest opinion. Er, do you like it? 


KAREN: Oh, yes, I do. It's marvelous. 


MATUSCHEK: Why? 


MUSIC: OUT


KAREN: I think it's romantic.


MARTIN: Romantic? What's romantic about it? 


KAREN: Huh? (UNCERTAIN) Well, cigarettes and music-- I don't know. It makes me think of moonlight and - and cigarettes and music.


MATUSCHEK: (TRIUMPHANT) There, Martin! There's the woman's point of view! 


MARTIN: But, Mr. Matuschek, she--


KAREN: How much are you selling it for? 


MATUSCHEK: Well, I'd say, er-- Four twenty-five.


KAREN: That's a bargain. That's a real bargain.


SOUND: DURING ABOVE EXCHANGE, SHOP DOOR OPENS AND LADY ENTERS


LADY: (INTERESTED) Ohhhh, that's a candy box, isn't? 


MATUSCHEK: (CHUCKLES) No, madam. It's a--


KAREN: (INTERRUPTS, WINNINGLY) Yes, madam! Yes, madam, that's a candy box. And I would say a very unusual one. 


LADY: Yes, I like it! How much is it?


KAREN: Watch, madam. It has a very distinctive feature. 


SOUND: BOX OPENS


MUSIC: BOX PLAYS TUNE ... THEN IN BG--


LADY: (DISMAYED) Well! 


KAREN: You see? 


LADY: Is that coming out of this


MATUSCHEK: Yes, madam, yes -- it's "Ochi Chyornye," a very popular classic. 


MUSIC: OUT BEHIND--


LADY: Oh, no! That'll never do! Where do people get ideas like that? Can you imagine? Every time you take a piece of candy you have to listen to that song. Oh, no. 


KAREN: Oh, no, madam, wait! Please. (CHUCKLES, QUICKLY) I know just what you mean, madam -- and yet, you see, some of our customers like it for the very thing you object to. Now, there's no denying we all have a weakness for candy. And when I say weakness, I don't mean to say anything against candy. I - I only mean we're inclined to overdo it a little. 


LADY: Mm, that's true, I suppose. 


KAREN: Now, for instance, madam, have you any idea how many pieces of candy you eat a day? 


LADY: Well, no, I never gave it a thought. But I am taking on weight. 


KAREN: That's just it. We pick up a piece of candy absent-mindedly, and then we take another piece, and before we realize it, we've gained a pound or two. 


LADY: Don't I know it. 


KAREN: Now, you see, this little box makes you candy conscious. That's what Matuschek and Company designed it for. Every time you open it, this little song is a message to you, see? "Too much candy. Now, be careful." 


LADY: (GIGGLES) Well, how much is it? 


KAREN: Uh, five fifty, reduced from six ninety-five. It's a real bargain. 


LADY: I'll take it! (MOVING OFF) You can wrap it up while I look at these purses. 


KAREN: (EXHALES WITH RELIEF, LOW) Well, Mr. Matuschek? 


MATUSCHEK: (CHUCKLES) What's your name, young lady? 


KAREN: Smith, Karen Smith. 


MATUSCHEK: Miss Smith, you may report for work tomorrow morning.


KAREN: Oh, thank you! 


MATUSCHEK: Mr. Martin here will show you the ropes. 


MARTIN: (UNHAPPY) Yes, of course. 


MATUSCHEK: Or perhaps you can show him. (LAUGHS) 


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: CITY TRAFFIC BACKGROUND ... HANDBELL RINGS, IN BG


MAN: Help the needy! Help the needy! Christmas dinners for the needy!


PETERS: You're late this morning, Martin. 


MARTIN: No, it's only ten of.


SOUND: SHOP DOOR OPENS ... THEN CLOSES, SHUTTING OUT STREET NOISE


HARVEY: Morning, Martin. Hello, Peters.


MARTIN: Hello.


PETERS: Morning, Mr. Harvey. Oh, say, Martin? Can you come to the house tonight? 


MARTIN: No, no, I'm sorry, Peters. I have a big dinner date tonight. 


PETERS: Oh? With the boss again?


MARTIN: No, no. (PUZZLED) He doesn't invite me any more. Say, how do you figure him out? 


PETERS: Well, I give up. It's certainly difficult to get along with him these days.


MARTIN: He hardly talks to me any more. 


PETERS: Do you know what I think? I think he's having trouble with his wife. 


HARVEY: Who is? Matuschek? 


PETERS: I wasn't talking to you, Harvey. 


HARVEY: You said Matuschek was having trouble with his wife? 


PETERS: I didn't say that at all. I only said-- 


MARTIN: Never mind, Peters. Go on, Harvey, you've got work to do, haven't you?


HARVEY: (CHUCKLES DARKLY, MOVING OFF) Sure, we all have. 


PETERS: I don't like that fellow.


MARTIN: Say, we better get this counter dusted before Matuschek gets here.


PETERS: I'll do it, Martin. 


MARTIN: No, we'll both do it.


SOUND: COUNTER DUSTED


MARTIN: Uh, say, Peters--? 


PETERS: Hmm? 


MARTIN: You mind if I ask you a personal question? 


PETERS: No, go ahead.


MARTIN: Now, this is very confidential. Peters, suppose a fella like me wants to get married. 


PETERS: Oh, well, that's wonderful. Who is the girl?


MARTIN: Now listen, I only said suppose


PETERS: Oh, ah.


MARTIN: Now look, uh, how much does it cost you to live? Just you and Mrs. Peters, leaving out the children? 


PETERS: Huh. Well, why fool yourself? Haaa. ...


MARTIN: Well, let's - let's say temporarily. How much does it cost? 


PETERS: Mmm, it can be done, and very nicely. Naturally, you can't be extravagant. 


MARTIN: No. Well, suppose a fella took a three-room apartment -- kitchen, living room, and bedroom. Where do you eat? 


PETERS: In the kitchen. You get a nice big kitchen.


MARTIN: Well, then where do you entertain? 


PETERS: Entertain? What are you, an ambassador? Listen, if someone is really your friend, he comes after dinner. 


MARTIN: (UNSATISFIED) Mm.


KAREN: (APPROACHES, CHEERFUL) Good morning.


PETERS: Well, good morning, Miss Smith. 


MARTIN: (CURT) Morning.


KAREN: (THE SAME) Morning. 


MARTIN: Oh, uh, Miss Smith--? 


KAREN: Yes, Mr. Martin? 


MARTIN: I noticed you wore a yellow blouse with light green dots yesterday-- 


KAREN: As usual, you're mistaken, Mr. Martin. It was a green blouse with light yellow dots, and everybody else thought it was very becoming. 


MARTIN: Now listen-- 


KAREN: And I don't remember that I ever remarked about your neckties -- and believe me, Mr. Martin, if you think I couldn't say anything about them, just ask Mr. Harvey. So please leave my blouse alone. It's none of your business. 


MARTIN: (GRIM) I'm sorry, but Mr. Matuschek seems to think it is my business. 


KAREN: (MOCKINGLY) Oh, yes, that's right. I'm working under you. Well, from now on, Mr. Martin, I'll telephone you every morning and describe just what I'm going to wear -- and before I select my next season's wardrobe, my dressmaker will submit samples to you. (WITH DISGUST) Oh, imagine, you dictating what I should wear. 


MARTIN: (EXPLODES) Now, you get this straight! I don't care what you wear! If you want to look like a pony in a circus, all right! But I have troubles of my own without your blouse coming between Mr. Matuschek and me! 


KAREN: Look, I sold as much goods yesterday as anybody in the place! Ninety-five dollars isn't bad for a rainy Friday three weeks before Christmas! Did you tell that to Mr. Matuschek? 


MARTIN: I did! 


KAREN: And what did he say? 


MARTIN: He said tell her not to come in that blouse any more! 


KAREN: Tell him I won't


MARTIN: I will


SOUND: KAREN'S STEPS AWAY


MARTIN: (CALM AGAIN) Uh, what was I just saying, Peters? 


PETERS: Er, about your girl. Who is she, Martin? 


MARTIN: Oh. Oh, yeah. Uh, remember that girl I was corresponding with? 


PETERS: Oh, yes. About the cultural subjects. 


MARTIN: Yeah, well-- After a while we came to the subject of love. Naturally on a very cultural level. 


PETERS: What else can you do in a letter? Haaa. ... 


MARTIN: You know, Peters, she - she's the most marvelous girl in the world. 


PETERS: Is she pretty? 


MARTIN: She - she has such ideals, Peters. She's so - so far above the girls you meet today that there's simply no comparison. 


PETERS: I see. She's not pretty. 


MARTIN: What's the difference? As a matter of fact, I don't know whether she is or not. You see, I - I haven't met her yet.


PETERS: You haven't?


MARTIN: No, I keep on postponing it. I'm scared, Peters. See, this girl thinks I'm the most wonderful person in the world and, after all, there's a chance she might be disappointed. 


PETERS: Yes. There is a chance. On the other hand, you might be disappointed, too. 


MARTIN: Oh, no. No, I won't. I'm as sure of that as I am my own name. Peters, I'm meeting her -- tonight, for dinner. 


PETERS: Where? 


MARTIN: In a restaurant on Eighth Street. 


PETERS: Ah. I suppose you're going to wear a red carnation, huh? 


MARTIN: Yes, I am. And she's gonna have one as a bookmark in a copy of Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina." (WITH A CHUCKLE) Gee, you know, I haven't slept for days. 


PETERS: What's her name? 


MARTIN: I don't even know that. I just call her "Dear Friend" or "Dear Box Two-Three-Seven."


PETERS: Oh, "Dear Box Two-Three-Seven," hmm? (CHUCKLES) Oh, I'm sure she'll be beautiful.


MARTIN: Well, not too beautiful. What chance would there be for a fella like me? 


PETERS: What do you want, a homely girl? 


MARTIN: No-- (SOUND: KNOCK ON WOOD) --knock wood for just a lovely average girl. That's all I want. 


PETERS: Mmm.


SOUND: SHOP DOOR OPENS ... CITY TRAFFIC BACKGROUND HEARD BRIEFLY


MATUSCHEK: (TO EMPLOYEES) Good morning!


SOUND: DOOR SHUTS AS EMPLOYEES RETURN THE GREETING ("Good morning!") ... MATUSCHEK WALKS BRISKLY TO HIS OFFICE BEHIND--


MATUSCHEK: Just want to tell you our window looks terrible! There isn't a store on the street that doesn't look better! It's a wonder we get any customers! (MOVING OFF) Everybody will have to stay the night to redecorate! 


SOUND: OFFICE DOOR SHUTS AS MATUSCHEK EXITS ... EMPLOYEES GROAN AND MURMUR UNHAPPILY


MARTIN: (DISGUSTED) Stay! Tonight of all nights! 


PETERS: There goes your date with Box Two-Three-Seven.


MARTIN: Yep.


MUSIC: BRIDGE


MARTIN: Hand me those belts, Joey, will you? Belong up here on the shelf. 


JOEY: Okay. 


SOUND: BELTS HANDLED, MARTIN PUTS BELTS ON SHELF ... CONTINUES IN BG


JOEY: Say, Mr. Martin, do you think I have to work tonight, too? After all, I'm a child. 


MARTIN: No, you don't have to stay tonight. 


JOEY: No kiddin'? 


MARTIN: I'll straighten it out with Mr. Matuschek. 


JOEY: Oh, gee, thanks. 


KAREN: (INGRATIATING) May I help you, Mr. Martin? 


MARTIN: (UNENTHUSIASTIC) No, thank you, Miss Smith. 


KAREN: It's no trouble at all. I'd like to. Yesterday I put all the imported bags on the shelf over there.


MARTIN: Mm-hmm.


KAREN: Is that the way you wanted it, Mr. Martin? 


MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. 


KAREN: I'm so glad you like it. If there's anything wrong, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me. 


MARTIN: Since when are you so interested in my idea of what's right or wrong? 


KAREN: Well, I like to please you, Mr. Martin. After all, I'm working under you. 


MARTIN: You know, you don't have to keep harping on that. 


KAREN: Oh, I - I don't mean it that way at all. Regardless of what I think of you personally, I believe that anybody who works with you and doesn't get a great deal out of it is just dumb. 


MARTIN: Just what do you mean, what you think of me personally? 


KAREN: Well, since you asked, I'd say no matter what can be said against you, I think you're a gentleman. 


MARTIN: Well, I try to be. 


SOUND: BELTS OUT


KAREN: Mr. Martin, you don't realize what that means to a working girl. What a girl has to go through in some shops. Well, for instance, when I worked at Booten Brothers and Sons-- Well, the sons were all right, but the brothers-- (SHUDDERS) And that's why I like it here. You see, when you say, "Miss Smith, let's go in the stockroom and put some belts on the shelf," you really want to put some belts on the shelf. ... And - that's my idea of a gentleman. 


MARTIN: Well, I just don't believe in mixing belts with pleasure. You know, this is the first time you've shown a little sense. Maybe there's hope for you after all. 


KAREN: (CHUCKLES) Thank you, Mr. Martin. Oh, uh-- Uh, I almost forgot. Would it be possible--? I mean-- Mr. Martin, do you think you could spare me tonight? Then maybe Mr. Matuschek would let me off.


MARTIN: (REALIZES, ACCUSINGLY) Ohhhh. So - that's why I'm a gentleman. That's why you learned so much from me all of a sudden, hmm? 


KAREN: I'm sure I don't know what you mean. 


MARTIN: You just want to get off early, huh? 


KAREN: (DESPERATELY) I have to, Mr. Martin! 


MARTIN: (SAVAGELY) Well, you're out of luck! What a cheap trick that was -- and I nearly fell for it, too. 


KAREN: Mr. Martin, I have to get off tonight. It's terribly important. 


MARTIN: For six months you've done everything you could to antagonize me and now you have the nerve--!


KAREN: (INTERRUPTS, DISTRESSED) Well, you haven't been very nice to me! No matter what I do, it's wrong. If I wrap a package, it's not the right way! If I make a suggestion -- and some of them are very good -- you don't even listen. Everything has to be done exactly your way and even then you don't like it. When I came into this place, I was full of life and enthusiasm, and-- Well, now I'm nothing. You've taken all my personality away. But let me tell you something: any day now I may be in a position where I won't have to work any more -- and, Mr. Martin, I'll really tell you then what I think of you! 


SOUND: STOCKROOM DOOR OPENS


KAREN: Mr. Martin, I don't like you!


SOUND: STOCKROOM DOOR CLOSES


BAKER: Karen? Karen, what's the matter? 


KAREN: (ALMOST IN TEARS) Oh, he won't let me off, and I've got to get away early tonight. I - I've just got to. I have a date. It's the most important thing that ever happened to me in all my life. 


BAKER: I know -- the boy you told me about. What was his name?


KAREN: That's what makes it so awful. I don't even know his name. I just call him Box Two-Three-Seven. 


MUSIC: FIRST ACT CURTAIN


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: In a moment you'll hear Act Two of "The Shop Around the Corner," starring Don Ameche, Claudette Colbert, and Felix Bressart. (TO LIBBY) Oh, Sally? You have a story for us during our brief intermission, haven't you? 


LIBBY: Yes, Mr. Ruick. Let's pretend we can all fly wherever we will, swiftly yet invisibly.


SOUND: AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARS ... THEN OUT


LIBBY: Here we are, then, on a warm June evening near the front porch of a pretty little home somewhere in America. There's a young man sitting on the porch with his wife.


MUSIC: VERY BRIEF ROMANTIC TRANSITION


HUSBAND: Gosh, you look swell tonight, Joanie. 


WIFE: And me an old married woman.


HUSBAND: This dress -- isn't it the one you wore that evening when--? 


WIFE: What evening, silly?


HUSBAND: Well, it was a pink dress anyway, like this one, and when I saw you in it, it took my breath away. 


WIFE: And when you got it back? 


HUSBAND: Why, then I begged for the job of buying your dresses all my life.


MUSIC: VERY BRIEF ROMANTIC TRANSITION


LIBBY: How often a charming dress plays its part in romance. That's something every woman knows, isn't it? And now that we have wonderful New Quick Lux Flakes, it's so easy to keep dresses dainty and lovely looking, so that you always seem appealing. New Quick Lux, you know, is safe care for every color of fabric that's safe in water alone. The gentle Lux suds swiftly float away soil, perspiration -- leave your pretty dresses fresh and charming.


ANNOUNCER: That's something that almost every woman knows, too, Libby. 


LIBBY: Of course it is, because twice as many women use New Quick Lux Flakes for nice dresses as use any other flakes, chips, or beads. And here's a hint about warm weather: be sure to Lux dresses often, for even a hint of perspiration can drive romance away.


ANNOUNCER: Thank you, Libby. Now, our producer Mr. DeMille.


HOST: Act Two of "The Shop Around the Corner," starring Don Ameche as Martin and Claudette Colbert as Karen, with Felix Bressart as Peters.


MUSIC: INTRODUCTION ... THEN BEHIND HOST--


HOST: It's later the same day. Mr. Matuschek's temperature has risen with each passing hour, for six of his employees have asked for the evening off. Now Martin is the unlucky seventh and Mr. Matuschek hits the boiling point. 


MATUSCHEK: Do you mean that you want the evening off, too, Martin?! 


MARTIN: Well, yes, Mr. Matuschek.


MATUSCHEK: What is this?! Does everybody want to leave?! Once a year I ask you to stay here! 


MARTIN: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Matuschek. If I'd only known yesterday, I could have--


MATUSCHEK: I see! You want a special invitation! Next time I'll send you an engraved announcement! 


MARTIN: Mr. Matuschek, this is the first time in years that I've asked a favor. I - I think you're being unjust. 


MATUSCHEK: I'm being unjust?! Once a year I ask seven ladies and gentlemen -- seven, mind you! -- when next door, a shop twice as big as mine employs only four, and, er-- 


SOUND: DURING ABOVE, SHOP DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AS 2ND LADY ENTERS


MATUSCHEK: (SUDDENLY CHUCKLES SELF-CONSCIOUSLY, OBSEQUIOUSLY) Good afternoon, madam. Is there anything I can show you? 


2ND LADY: Have you traveling bags for men? Oh, with a zipper? 


MATUSCHEK: Oh, yes, madam, yes! We have every type of traveling bag with a zipper.


2ND LADY: Thank you so much. I'm just doing a little window shopping for my husband. He'll be here tomorrow. 


MATUSCHEK: I'd be delighted to serve your husband. 


2ND LADY: Thank you. (MOVING OFF) Good afternoon.


SOUND: SHOP DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AS 2ND LADY EXITS


MATUSCHEK: (ABRUPTLY RESUMES HARANGUE) Seven ladies and gentlemen I ask one day in a year to be so kind as to redecorate a window and you have the nerve, Mr. Martin, the oldest employee in the place, who should set an example--!


MARTIN: (INTERRUPTS, CALMLY) Mr. Matuschek, you spoke to me like this yesterday. What did I do? The whole week you've treated me like this without any reason at all. 


MATUSCHEK: Without any reason?! Maybe I have more reason than you think! 


MARTIN: (QUIETLY) Well, it's obvious that you're not satisfied with me.


MATUSCHEK: You can draw your own conclusion!


MARTIN: In that case, there's only one thing to do. Maybe we'd better call it a day. 


MATUSCHEK: (AGREES, CALMER) Maybe we'd better. Miss Baker will see that you get your check. 


MARTIN: Thank you. 


LILY: Mr. Matuschek, there's someone on your private phone. 


MATUSCHEK: I - I'll take it in my office.


SOUND: MATUSCHEK'S STEPS INTO OFFICE ... OFFICE DOOR CLOSES ... RECEIVER UP ... DETECTIVE'S VOICE ON FILTER


MATUSCHEK: Hello? 


DETECTIVE: Mr. Matuschek?


MATUSCHEK: Yes? 


DETECTIVE: This is the Kane Detective Agency. We have that information about your wife. 


MATUSCHEK: Oh, well, er-- Well, don't tell me on the phone. Er, come over to my shop, please. 


DETECTIVE: What time, Mr. Matuschek? 


MATUSCHEK: Oh, well, come now, please. I'll be waiting. 


SOUND: RECEIVER DOWN ... MATUSCHEK'S STEPS TO OFFICE DOOR, WHICH OPENS


MATUSCHEK: Mr. Peters? 


PETERS: Yes, Mr. Matuschek? 


MATUSCHEK: Tell everyone they may go home. We'll do the windows tomorrow.


MUSIC: SAD BRIDGE


MATUSCHEK: Er, sit down, please.


DETECTIVE: Thank you. 


MATUSCHEK: Well, it's - it's true about my wife? 


DETECTIVE: I'm afraid so, Mr. Matuschek. Now, here we have the complete record from our operatives, two of our most reliable men.


MATUSCHEK: Er, go on. 


DETECTIVE: (READS) "Report on Mrs. Emma Matuschek. On December sixth, Mrs. Matuschek left her apartment at eight forty-five. She walked two blocks up to Tenth Street. There, Mrs. Matuschek was joined by a young man." 


MATUSCHEK: (SADLY) A young man.


DETECTIVE: Yes. Your suspicions were correct, Mr. Matuschek. The man was one of your own employees. 


MATUSCHEK: I know. He's been to my house for dinner. He's been working for me almost ten years. 


DETECTIVE: Ten years? That's funny. Our report says only four. 


MATUSCHEK: Martin has been here ten years in January. 


DETECTIVE: Martin? But the young man your wife met is named Harvey. 


MATUSCHEK: What's that? 


DETECTIVE: Francis W. Harvey, Four Sixty-Four Hill Street. 


MATUSCHEK: (REALIZES) Oh. Then--? I see. Er-- Er, let me have that report, please. 


DETECTIVE: Yes, sir. 


SOUND: PAPERS RUSTLE


MATUSCHEK: (BROKENLY) Twenty-two years we've been married. Twenty-two years I was proud of my wife. Well, she didn't want to grow old with me. If you'll send me your bill, I'll - I'll take care of it immediately. 


DETECTIVE: Yes, Mr. Matuschek. Good night. 


MATUSCHEK: Er, good night.


MUSIC: SOMBER BRIDGE


SOUND: CITY TRAFFIC BACKGROUND


PETERS: Is this the restaurant where you were going to meet her? 


MARTIN: (DEJECTED) Yeah. Go ahead, Peters. Go on in. 


PETERS: Well, why don't you go in? I really think you should keep your date. 


MARTIN: No, I haven't got the heart. Not after what happened today. I was gonna get married; now I haven't even got a job. Peters, do me a favor and deliver my note, please. 


PETERS: All right.


MARTIN: And look, Peters--?


PETERS: Hm? 


MARTIN: I don't want to know what she looks like. If she's homely, I got enough bad news for one day. If she's lovely, it'll make it so much more difficult, so - don't tell me.


PETERS: Oh, I won't. Now, what's the name of that book again? 


MARTIN: "Anna Karenina," and a red carnation as a bookmark. 


PETERS: Well, wait. Maybe I'd better look in the window first. You stand over that way, out of sight. 


MARTIN: (BEAT) Well? Do you see her? 


PETERS: No, not yet. (BEAT) Oh, say! There's a beautiful girl!


MARTIN: Really? 


PETERS: Mmm, very beautiful. But no book. 


MARTIN: (DISAPPOINTED) Oh.


PETERS: There's another girl. But wait a minute! I think I see the book. Right here under the window. Yes. (READS, WITH DIFFICULTY) "Anna Karenina by Tolstoy." (UP) And a carnation! 


MARTIN: (EAGERLY) Go on, go on. 


PETERS: Huh? I - I can't see her face. She's sitting behind that rack. Uh, wait, there's a cup of coffee on the table. She's taking a piece of cake. (WITH DISAPPROVAL) Martin! She's dunking. ...


MARTIN: Well, why shouldn't she?


PETERS: All right. She's leaning forward now. Martin, she--! (UNEASY) Ohhhhhh. 


MARTIN: Can you see her?


PETERS: (SLOWLY) Yes, I see her. 


MARTIN: Is - is she pretty? 


PETERS: Very pretty.


MARTIN: (PLEASED) Oh, she is, huh? 


PETERS: Mmmm, yes. 


MARTIN: Yeah?


PETERS: I'd say-- I'd say she looks-- She has a little of the coloring of - of Karen. 


MARTIN: Karen?


PETERS: Mmm. 


MARTIN: You mean--? You mean Karen Smith? Miss Smith in the store? 


PETERS: Now, now, Martin, you will have to admit that Karen is a good-looking girl. And, personally, I've always found her a very likable girl.


MARTIN: Oh, this is a fine time to be talkin' about Miss Smith. 


PETERS: Well, if you don't like Miss Smith, I can tell you right now you're not going to like this girl either. 


MARTIN: Well, why? 


PETERS: Because-- Because it is Miss Smith. Haaa. ...


MARTIN: (STUNNED) No. It can't be. No, Peters-- 


PETERS: Well, look for yourself.


MARTIN: Miss Smith--? Wha--? Why, this-- This is horrible. (GRIM) Here. Give me that note. 


PETERS: What are you going to do, let that poor girl wait in there? 


MARTIN: Well, why shouldn't Miss Smith wait? For six months she's fought with me every day!


PETERS: (GENTLY) But, still, she wrote those letters. 


MARTIN: (UNEASY) Oh, well, that's my misfortune. 


PETERS: Well, I'm going back to the shop. I've got some things to do. Goodbye.


MARTIN: (QUIETLY UNHAPPY) Yeah, goodbye, Peters.


MUSIC: JAUNTY WALTZ PLAYED BY RESTAURANT ORCHESTRA FOR BRIEF TRANSITION ... THEN IN BG


SOUND: RESTAURANT BACKGROUND


WAITER: Excuse me, miss, can I take this chair? 


KAREN: Oh, no, don't, please. I'm expecting somebody, waiter. He'll be here any minute.


WAITER: Okay. (LAUGHS) Red carnation, huh? 


KAREN: (WITH A SELF-CONSCIOUS CHUCKLE) Yes.


WAITER: Two nights ago we had a case with roses. Turned out very nice, very nice. But once, about three months ago, we had a sad case -- with gardenias. She waited all night and nobody came.


KAREN: Oh, really? She must have felt terrible. 


WAITER: Well, that's life, you know. You have to expect things like that. 


KAREN: Yes, of course you-- (DISMAYED) Ohhh. Waiter, isn't your clock a little fast? My watch says only eight twenty-seven. 


WAITER: (WITH A CHUCKLE) Aw, listen, you got nothing to worry about. A pretty girl like you? If he doesn't come, I'll put on a carnation myself. (MOVING OFF, LAUGHS) 


MARTIN: (APPROACHES, SUBDUED) Hello, Miss Smith.


KAREN: Huh? (SURPRISED) Oh! Good evening, Mr. Martin.


MARTIN: Quite a coincidence. I had an appointment here. You, er, haven't seen Mr. Peters by any chance, have you? 


KAREN: No, I haven't.


MARTIN: Well, guess I'll wait. Er, do you mind if I sit down?


KAREN: (NERVOUS) Oh, yes, yes, I do mind! 


MARTIN: Well, what's the matter?


KAREN: Oh, please, Mr. Martin, will you go to some other table? I have an appointment, too. 


MARTIN: (MOCK SURPRISE AND DELIGHT) Oh, really? Well! Who are you meeting? 


KAREN: Now, please don't be sarcastic. I - I realize that you've had a bad day, Mr. Martin, and you probably feel very bitter. 


MARTIN: (DEFENSIVE) Bitter? By leaving Matuschek and Company? Listen, I could have another job like that. (SNAPS HIS FINGERS) 


KAREN: (BRISKLY DISMISSIVE) Oh, well, in that case, there's no use wasting sympathy on you. Good night, Mr. Martin.


MARTIN: Listen, you don't have to feel sorry for me


KAREN: (NERVOUS AGAIN) Mr. Martin, I said good night. Please. 


MARTIN: Well, what are you so nervous about? 


KAREN: I'm not nervous. Do I look nervous? 


MARTIN: I should say you do.


KAREN: Well, I'm not.


SOUND: KNOCKS OVER WATER GLASS


KAREN: (GASPS)


MARTIN: You, uh, just knocked over the water. 


KAREN: Well, that's just an accident. 


MARTIN: Here, I'll mop it up for you.


KAREN: Mr. Martin, will you please--?


MARTIN: It's no trouble at all. (BEAT) There! That's better. 


MUSIC: ORCHESTRA OUT BEHIND--


MARTIN: (BEAT) Ohhhh, I see you're reading Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina," huh?


KAREN: Yes. Anything against it? 


MARTIN: Oh, no, no, no. I never expected to meet you in a café with Tolstoy. I didn't know you went in for high literature. 


KAREN: There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Mr. Martin. 


MARTIN: Yes? Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me, Miss Smith. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find out the inward truth. 


KAREN: (CHUCKLES) Mr. Martin, I wouldn't care to scratch your surface. ... Because I know exactly what I'd find: a handbag instead of a heart, a suitcase instead of a soul, and instead of an intellect, a cigarette lighter that doesn't work. 


MARTIN: (SARCASTIC) Oh, that's very well put. Comparing my intellect with a cigarette lighter that doesn't work is - is such an interesting mixture of poetry and - and meanness. 


KAREN: Meanness?! 


MARTIN: Well, now - now don't misunderstand me, Miss Smith. I was just on the verge of paying you a compliment.


KAREN: Oh, please, Mr. Martin. I told you I was expecting somebody.


MARTIN: Well, that's all right. Soon as he comes, I'll leave. 


KAREN: (EXHALES WITH EXASPERATION, THEN IMPROVISES) Look-- Look, Mr. Martin, I'd better warn you. This person is jealous.


MARTIN: Oh. 


KAREN: Very jealous. 


MARTIN: Mm?


KAREN: Yes, and if you insist on staying here, I will not be responsible for anything that may happen. I hope you understand what I mean. 


MARTIN: (UNCONCERNED) Sure. Uh, listen, just in case your party doesn't show up, would I, uh--? I mean, well, if he should stand you up or something--


KAREN: (LAUGHS) Oh, don't worry about that. This party will show up. 


WAITER: (APPROACHES) Ah, well, well! So he came, huh? (TO MARTIN) Will you have a menu, sir? 


KAREN: Oh, no, no--


WAITER: (LAUGHS) I told her not to worry. 


KAREN: But--


WAITER: Pretty girl like her-- 


KAREN: (INTERRUPTS) Uh, waiter, this is not the gentleman I was expecting. 


WAITER: (DEFLATED) Ohh. No? 


KAREN: No. And I don't want him sitting here at all. Will you please ask him to take some other table? 


WAITER: (THREATENING) What's the idea, mister? 


MARTIN: All right, all right. Is - is that next table taken? 


WAITER: No. 


MARTIN: Yeah, well, then I'll sit over here. (MOVING OFF) Cup of coffee, please. 


WAITER: I'm sorry, miss. 


KAREN: Oh, it's all right. Just as long as he doesn't sit at my table.


WAITER: (MOVING OFF) And I'll keep an eye out for that carnation. 


KAREN: Thanks. 


MARTIN: (BEAT, FROM OFF) Tell me, have you read Zola's "Madame Bovary"? 


KAREN: "Madame Bovary" is not by Zola. Will you please go away? 


MARTIN: (CLOSER) Now look, Miss Smith--


KAREN: Oh, what are you trying to do, ruin my evening? What have I ever done to you? Why do you hate me so? 


MARTIN: I don't hate you.


KAREN: Oh, I suppose you love me.


MARTIN: No, why should I? What have you ever done to make me love you? 


KAREN: (EXASPERATED) I don't want you to love me. 


MARTIN: (SAVAGELY) Well, I don't


MUSIC: DURING ABOVE, SOLO VIOLINIST BACKED BY RESTAURANT ORCHESTRA HAS BEGUN PLAYING A SWEETLY ROMANTIC "OCHI CHYORNYE" ... THEN IN BG


MARTIN: (MELLOWER) You know what that song reminds me of?


KAREN: Yes, thank you: two dozen unsold cigarette boxes. 


MARTIN: No, you're wrong again. It reminds me of a girl who was looking for a job. And a very nice girl, I thought.


KAREN: Oh, really? How you've changed. 


MARTIN: That was before you began to make fun of me; giving imitations of me in the locker room. (GRIM) And I want to take this opportunity, Miss Smith, to inform you that I am not bowlegged.


KAREN: Aren't you? 


MARTIN: No, I'm not! 


KAREN: (MERRILY) Well, I have information to the contrary. Mr. Harvey told me you have your trousers specially made.


MARTIN: That's a lie! I've never been to a tailor in my life! And if you think I'm bowlegged, you come on out on the sidewalk with me and I'll pull up my trouser legs! 


KAREN: Don't you dare! 


MARTIN: How would you like it if I made remarks about your hands being red?!


KAREN: That's exactly what you did yesterday! 


MARTIN: Yes, yes -- but only after you made fun of my legs!


KAREN: And they aren't red at all! 


MARTIN: No, not any more, after I called your attention to them! And let me tell you something else, Miss Smith. You may have beautiful thoughts, but you - you certainly hide them! So far as your actions are concerned, you're cold and snippy, like an old maid, and you'll have an awful tough time trying to make any man fall in love with you! 


KAREN: (LAUGHS) Mr. Martin, you're getting funnier every minute! I could show you a few letters that might open your eyes. No, maybe not. No, you probably wouldn't understand what's in them. They're written by a type of man so far above you that it's ridiculous. I have to laugh when I think of you calling me an old maid. (CHUCKLES) You! Why, you little insignificant clerk! 


MARTIN: (STUNG) All right, that does it. (MOVING OFF) Goodbye, Anna Karenina. 


KAREN: Goodbye. 


MUSIC: OUT WITH--


SOUND: RESTAURANT DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AS MARTIN EXITS ... SWITCH TO CITY TRAFFIC BACKGROUND


PETERS: (APPROACHES, URGENT) Martin! Wait! Martin! Martin! 


MARTIN: (SURPRISED) Peters! What's the matter? What's wrong? 


PETERS: (BREATHLESS) I just went to the shop. They - they took Mr. Matuschek away in the ambulance.


MARTIN: What?


PETERS: He - he tried to commit suicide.


MUSIC: BRIDGE


MARTIN: Mr. Matuschek, are - are you all right? 


MATUSCHEK: I think I will be. Er, sit down, Martin. And I want to thank you for coming. 


MARTIN: Oh, no. I-- As soon as I heard, I--


MATUSCHEK: Martin, do you remember when you were at my house for dinner the last time? I told you if things go well, I might take it easier, and maybe by Christmas make you manager of the shop. Well, now I have to take it easier. Er, would you care to work for me again after--? 


MARTIN: Mr. Matuschek, don't - don't even think about it. That - that's all over. 


MATUSCHEK: Is it possible that I ever distrusted you, Martin? I hated you. I couldn't stand your presence any more. That's how far jealousy can drive a man. 


MARTIN: Jealousy? I - I don't know what you mean.


MATUSCHEK: When I first got that anonymous letter, I - I laughed at it. My wife having secret rendezvous with one of my employees! But you can't throw a letter like that away. It stays with you, every word.


MARTIN: But how could you suspect me


MATUSCHEK: I know now that it was Harvey. But, you see, you were the only one from the shop who came to my home. You - you sent flowers to my wife.


MARTIN: Well, I was only doing it to-- 


MATUSCHEK: You don't have to tell me. But if this poison once gets into your mind-- Please try to understand.


MARTIN: Sure. I - I understand. 


SOUND: JANGLE OF KEYS ON A RING


MATUSCHEK: (SOLEMNLY) Martin, here are the keys to Matuschek and Company. 


MARTIN: (THE SAME) Thank you. (BEAT) Uh, what'll I do about - Harvey? 


MATUSCHEK: Harvey? I want him very quietly dismissed. 


MARTIN: Quietly dismissed. Yes, sir, I'll - I'll take care of it, Mr. Matuschek. 


MUSIC: BRIEF BRIDGE


HARVEY: What do you mean I'm fired?! 


MARTIN: Do you hear me?! Get out!


HARVEY: Don't push! Don't push!


MARTIN: Go on! Go on, beat it! 


HARVEY: What right have you got to fire me anyway?! Does Mr. Matuschek know about this?! 


MARTIN: Mr. Matuschek has nothing to do with it! I'm the manager and you don't work here any more! 


HARVEY: Oh, so you're the manager! How do I know you're the manager?! Prove it! Show it to me in black and white! 


MARTIN: Oh, you want it in black and white, do you?! Well, you're gonna get it in black and blue! 


HARVEY: Oh, yeah?! Well, how do you like this?!


SOUND: SCUFFLE ... THEN IN BG


MARTIN: I'll murder you, you--! 


HARVEY: I'll show you!


MARTIN: You two-timing--!


LILY: Mr. Harvey!


PETERS: Martin, stop! Stop!


BAKER: Oh, they're killing each other!


JOEY: (ENTERS) What's goin' on?


SOUND: SCUFFLE ENDS WHEN HARVEY THUDS TO THE FLOOR


PETERS: Martin, you have knocked him out. Haaa. ... 


MARTIN: (OUT OF BREATH) Peters, you - you and Joey throw him out of here. Come on, go on. 


JOEY: I got his legs. 


MARTIN: Peters, the back way, and do it quietly. Mr. Matuschek doesn't want any fuss. Miss Smith, you - you wait here.


PETERS: Watch his head, Joey. 


JOEY: (MOVING OFF) Why? He wouldn't feel it. 


SOUND: BACK DOOR CLOSES AS THEY EXIT


MARTIN: Well, Miss Smith, I suppose you're kind of surprised to see me back, huh? 


KAREN: (SUBDUED) Well, naturally I'm glad you have your job again. Congratulations. 


MARTIN: Miss Baker tells me you - you weren't feeling well this morning. 


KAREN: (CLEARLY NOT WELL) That's all right, thank you.


MARTIN: You look worn out. Anything, er, go wrong last night? 


KAREN: I tell you, I'm all right. Where's Mr. Matuschek? I want to see him.


MARTIN: Well, he's right here. I'm Mr. Matuschek. 


KAREN: (DISTRESSED) Oh, Mr. Martin, don't make any jokes. Not today. And if you have to pick on me, make it some other time. I - I want to talk to Mr. Matuschek. 


MARTIN: (GENTLY) Would it really be so terrible if I were the boss and you had to talk to me?


KAREN: Will you please stop it? My nerves are at the breaking point. 


MARTIN: Miss Smith, I'm - I'm simply trying to tell you that--


KAREN: (INTERRUPTS, OVERWROUGHT) Haven't you any heart at all?! Can't you see I'm sick? I can hardly see straight. The - the room-- Everything's turning around and, in this state of mind, I ask you a simple question and instead of having any consideration for me, you deliberately try to frighten me. Now stop it.


SOUND: BACK DOOR OPENS 


PETERS: Martin, I didn't have any chance to say it before. Congratulations. 


KAREN: For what, Mr. Peters? 


PETERS: Well, don't you know? Martin's the manager. 


KAREN: (STUNNED) The--? The manag--? (EXHALES AS SHE FAINTS)


SOUND: KAREN'S BODY SLUMPS TO FLOOR


MARTIN: Miss Smith? 


PETERS: She fainted. 


MARTIN: Peters, Peters, get some water quick, quick! 


PETERS: (MOVING OFF) Water, water-- 


MARTIN: Hurry it up! (WORRIED, TO KAREN) Karen? Karen, are - are you all right? (NO ANSWER, GENTLY) Oh, darling, look at me. (LOVINGLY) Karen, Karen darling-- Oh, you poor kid. Karen--


KAREN: (GROANS, AWAKES) Oh, what happened? 


MARTIN: (BUSINESSLIKE) Why, er, nothing much, Miss Smith. You, er-- You just fainted. 


MUSIC: SECOND ACT CURTAIN


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.


MUSIC: FILLS PAUSE FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION


ANNOUNCER: Mr. DeMille presents Act Three of "The Shop Around the Corner," starring Claudette Colbert, Don Ameche, and Felix Bressart in just a moment. (BEAT) Now I want to send a birthday message. Next Saturday, June twenty-eighth, is the big day, and I want to wish a very happy first birthday to Catherine, Clarence, and Richard George of Atlantic City, New Jersey.


SALLY: My goodness, Mr. Ruick! Three birthdays all on the same day? You don't mean--?


ANNOUNCER: I certainly do, Sally. They're triplets. 


SALLY: (CHARMED) Ohhh.


ANNOUNCER: Three of the cutest, brightest babies you ever saw. But, my, they were tiny when they were born. Why, one of them weighed only two and a half pounds. Here's what their mother, Mrs. C. V. George Junior, says about them. Will you read it, Sally? 


SALLY: (YES) Mm-hmm. (READS) "The triplets were such little mites they needed extra special care. For months they were wrapped in cotton wool. Their skins are so tender that I'm very careful about the way I wash their clothes, too. I use Lux Flakes for every single thing that touches them. Lux is so safe and gentle I know it has nothing in it to irritate a baby's sensitive skin."


ANNOUNCER: That's something every mother can count on: wonderful Lux purity. 


SALLY: Mrs. George goes on to say, "New Quick Lux Flakes are so fast I get suds in a jiffy, and a little goes so far. It's thrifty, too. When you have as many as sixty diapers a day to wash, as well as rompers, dresses, nighties, and woolies-- Well, you can see that speed and thrift are important." 


ANNOUNCER: Now, that's a fine tribute to Lux Flakes, isn't it? And a well-deserved one, because New Quick Lux is a wonderful help to a busy mother. It's so gentle. Safe for anything safe in water. With Lux care, soft woolly shirts and blankets stay fluffy and unshrunken. Pretty dresses and bright-colored sun suits stay fresh and new-looking longer. And best of all, there's nothing in New Quick Lux to irritate a baby's sensitive skin or to roughen a mother's hands. No harmful alkali of any kind. Give all baby things this superlatively gentle care. (BEAT) Now Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone.


HOST: The curtain rises on the third act of "The Shop Around the Corner." 


MUSIC: INTRODUCTION ... THEN BEHIND HOST--


HOST: Karen Smith has had no further letters from her unknown admirer, Box Two-Three-Seven. This misfortune, combined with Martin's appointment as manager, has proved too much for her, so she's taken to her bed with a bad case of nerves. Now she has a visitor: none other than Mr. Martin, alias Box Two-Three-Seven.


MARTIN: (KINDLY) Good evening, Miss Smith.


KAREN: Good evening. 


MARTIN: I hope you forgive the intrusion. How are you? 


KAREN: I'm all right.


MARTIN: You know, Christmas is coming soon and we'll all miss a good worker like you, so you better get well. You see, I feel sort of responsible for this whole thing. 


KAREN: You? Oh, no, it wasn't your fault at all. No, there's a much bigger reason unfortunately. 


MARTIN: Miss Smith, don't - don't you think you ought to call a doctor? 


KAREN: No, I don't need a doctor. My trouble is purely psychological. But it's my personal problem and I'll come out of it. 


MARTIN: I'm sorry. It's really a shame you have to go through all this. But as long as it's only psychological-- 


KAREN: Only psychological?! Mr. Martin! Oh, really. It's true we're in the same room, but we are not in the same planet.


MARTIN: Miss Smith, I must admire your way of expressing yourself. You certainly know how to put a man in his planet. 


SOUND: DOOR OPENS


GRANDMA: Karen dear--?


KAREN: Yes, grandma? 


GRANDMA: Look, darling, I sent down to the post office. 


KAREN: (EAGERLY) Oh, grandma! Tell me, was there a letter? 


GRANDMA: Here, darling. It's a fat one, too. 


KAREN: (PLEASED) Oh!


SOUND: KAREN GRABS ENVELOPE AND OPENS IT 


KAREN: (QUICKLY) Mr. Martin, it was kind of you to drop in, but I don't want to spoil your evening. 


MARTIN: Oh, no, no. I've lots of time. Go ahead and read your letter. 


KAREN: If you don't mind--?


MARTIN: Certainly not. 


GRANDMA: Oh, I forgot to take care of the messenger boy. Will you excuse me, Mr. Martin? 


MARTIN: Certainly, certainly. 


SOUND: DOOR CLOSES AS GRANDMA EXITS


KAREN: (EXHALES WITH RELIEF) Oh! (CHUCKLES TO HERSELF)


MARTIN: Good news? 


KAREN: (EXUBERANT) Oh, very good news. Mr. Martin, I'm sure I'll be back to the shop tomorrow, and I - I can promise you I'll sell more goods than I ever sold before.


MARTIN: Well, that's fine, fine. My, it's amazing what one little letter can do. 


KAREN: Oh, you know, if I weren't feeling so wonderful right now, I'd be pretty sore at you.


MARTIN: At me? Why? 


KAREN: (MERRILY) You really spoiled my date last night. You see, this gentleman came to the café, looked into the window, saw us together -- and he misunderstood.


MARTIN: You mean he thought you and I were friends? (CHUCKLES) 


KAREN: He must have! 


MARTIN: (CHUCKLES)


KAREN: Listen to this. Uh-- (READS) "Tell me and be frank. Who was that very attractive young man? ... He's just the type women fall for." (CHUCKLES) Now, isn't that marvelous? 


MARTIN: Yes. (CLEARS THROAT, CHUCKLES) ... I'm, er-- I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble. 


KAREN: Oh, no, I'll straighten that out. Let him be a little jealous. It won't hurt him.


MARTIN: You know, he - he doesn't seem to be much of a man, though. He's afraid to come to a table because another man is there. 


KAREN: Oh, he was not afraid. 


MARTIN: No?


KAREN: He's just tactful and sensitive. 


MARTIN: Oh. 


KAREN: He's not the kind of man who would sit at a table uninvited. No. You see, it's difficult to explain a man like him to a man like you. ... Why, where you'd say black, he'd say white. Where you say ugly, he says beautiful. And where you'd say "old maid," he says, um-- Well, here, listen. (READS) "Eyes that sparkle with fire and mystery; vivacious, fascinating." (SHIVERS WITH DELIGHT) He says I make him think of gypsy music.


MARTIN: Say, he's pretty smart.


KAREN: Oh! Oh, speaking of gypsy music, we're still having some difficulty selling those "Ochi Chyornye" boxes, aren't we? 


MARTIN: Oh, that doesn't matter. 


KAREN: Mr. Martin, consider one box definitely sold! I just got an inspiration. I'm going to give it to my friend for Christmas. 


MARTIN: (WITH DISTASTE) Oh, no. No, don't do that. ... 


KAREN: What?


MARTIN: Uh, you're - you're taking an awful chance. Er, look, why don't you give him a wallet? I know he'd be crazy about it, and we have those new imported pigskins--


KAREN: Oh, no, I'm not interested. 


MARTIN: Look, I'll make you special price.


KAREN: No, I'm sorry.


MARTIN: And - and another thing. A wallet is not only practical, it's - it's romantic. On one side, he carries your last letter; on the other side, your picture. And when he opens it, he finds you -- and that's all the music he wants.


KAREN: (IMPRESSED) Why, Mr. Martin, you surprise me. That's very well expressed. Oh, yes, I must admit that's very nice. 


MARTIN: Well, thank you. 


KAREN: (DECISIVE) No, just the same, he's going to get the cigarette box. 


MARTIN: (DISAPPOINTED) Oh. ...


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: CITY TRAFFIC BACKGROUND ... HANDBELL RINGS, IN BG


MAN: Help the needy! Christmas dinners for the needy! Every bit helps!


OFFICER: Merry Christmas, Mr. Matuschek. 


MATUSCHEK: Well! Merry Christmas to you, officer. 


OFFICER: I haven't seen you for quite a while, Mr. Matuschek.


MATUSCHEK: Yes, yes. I'm supposed to be pretty sick, but it's Christmas Eve and I just couldn't stand it any longer. I'm going in and help.


OFFICER: Well, take it easy, Mr. Matuschek. Merry Christmas.


MATUSCHEK: Merry Christmas. 


3RD LADY: Oh, look, Mabel. Do you think Howie would like that briefcase? 


MABEL: Oh, I don't know. Maybe. 


MATUSCHEK: (CHUCKLES) Er, pardon me.


3RD LADY: Hm? 


MATUSCHEK: I can't see very well without my glasses. Can you tell me how much that briefcase is?


3RD LADY: Er, twelve fifty. 


MATUSCHEK: Only twelve fifty? Well! You certainly get exceptional values here. (WITH A CHUCKLE) I wonder how Matuschek and Company does it. 


3RD LADY: Well, if you don't know, Mr. Matuschek, who should?


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: SHOP EMPLOYEES MURMUR ... GROW QUIET WITH--


MATUSCHEK: (A SPEECH) Ladies and gentlemen. My good friends. We have just had our biggest day since Nineteen Twenty-Nine. 


SOUND: EMPLOYEES MURMUR APPRECIATIVELY


MATUSCHEK: You should be very proud, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. When I was in the hospital, I - I read your little note over and over. I'm glad to know you missed me and hoped I would come back home again. You're right. This is my home, and only too seldom one realizes that the people he works with are his real friends. I-- Well-- (CHUCKLES) There's no Christmas without a bonus, am I right? 


SOUND: EMPLOYEES MURMUR AGREEMENT


MATUSCHEK: Miss Baker will pass out your checks and then I want you all to go home and have a very, very merry Christmas.


SOUND: EMPLOYEES APPLAUD


MUSIC: BRIDGE ... QUOTES "AULD LANG SYNE" AND "JINGLE BELLS"


PETERS: Going home, Karen? 


KAREN: No, I've still got to wrap this wallet. Do you like it, Mr. Peters? 


PETERS: Oh, I think it's wonderful. Is this for - for that gentleman you told me about? 


KAREN: (YES) Mm-hmm. I'm meeting him tonight for the first time. Isn't it exciting? 


PETERS: Oh, yes, yes. I - I think it might be. Well, merry Christmas, Karen, and I hope everything turns out just as you wanted. 


KAREN: Thank you. Merry Christmas, Mr. Peters. 


PETERS: (MOVING OFF) Merry Christmas, Martin. 


MARTIN: (APPROACHES) Merry Christmas to you, Peters. Well, Miss Smith, we're just about ready to close. 


KAREN: I'm sorry, I'll be through here in a second. 


MARTIN: Oh, that's all right, there's no hurry.


SOUND: RUSTLE OF WRAPPING PAPER


MARTIN: Oh? Present for somebody?


KAREN: (YES) Mm-hmm. I followed your advice after all. It's the wallet. 


MARTIN: Oh, fine. Oh, uh, uh, want to see something? Here, look at this. I, er, bought it for a very special friend. 


KAREN: Oh, a locket! 


MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. With stones in it. Right there, see? 


KAREN: (IMPRESSED) Ohhh! Say, it's beautiful. I didn't know you had a girlfriend. 


MARTIN: Well, no? 


KAREN: No, I never even suspected. 


MARTIN: I guess you think it's pretty funny that a girl would like somebody like me. 


KAREN: (GOOD-NATURED) Oh, now, Mr. Martin, don't let's start all over again. It's Christmas and I'd like to be friends with you. And besides you're wrong. (CHUCKLES) Do you mind if I tell you something? 


MARTIN: No, not at all. 


KAREN: Well, when I started to work here, something very strange happened to me. I got psychologically mixed up. 


MARTIN: Oh, you don't say? 


KAREN: (YES) Mm-hmm. I found myself looking at you again and again. I just couldn't take my eyes off you. 


MARTIN: Oh, really? 


KAREN: Yes, and all the time I was saying to myself, "Karen Smith, what's the matter with you? This Martin's not a particularly attractive man." 


MARTIN: Oh. ... 


KAREN: I hope you don't mind. 


MARTIN: Oh, no. No, no. No, not at all. 


KAREN: And now comes the paradox. I caught myself falling for you.


MARTIN: Fall--? Well, I can't believe that.


KAREN: (CHUCKLES) Oh, yes, Mr. Martin. In those first few weeks, there were moments in the stockroom when you could have swept me off my feet.


MARTIN: (PUZZLED) Well, now I'm getting psychologically mixed up. 


KAREN: Well, you see, I was a different girl then. I was very naïve. (DISMISSIVE EXCLAMATION) Well, that's all forgotten now. Now, you go to your girlfriend and-- By the way, is it serious? 


MARTIN: Oh, yes, yes. Very.


KAREN: We might both be engaged Monday morning! 


MARTIN: Yes. I think we will. ... 


KAREN: I don't want you to misunderstand. In my case, I say it just might happen. 


MARTIN: Well, as a matter of fact, I - I can tell you it will happen.


KAREN: How do you know? 


MARTIN: Er-- Well, now-- I might as well tell you, I guess. He came to see me.


KAREN: Who? 


MARTIN: Your fiancé. 


KAREN: What? 


MARTIN: He came last night. You - you shouldn't have told him who I am. I spent a very uncomfortable hour. You see, he - he didn't believe it when you wrote him I meant nothing to you. 


KAREN: I don't understand. But-- Coming to see you? It - it doesn't sound like him at all. 


MARTIN: Oh, well, don't worry about it. Uh, I straightened everything out. In a little while you'll be Mrs. Popkin. 


KAREN: Mrs. Popkin?! ... 


MARTIN: Yes, that's, er-- That's his name, isn't it? That's what he told me.


KAREN: Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, Popkin, that's right. ... (TO HERSELF, UNCERTAINLY) Popkin?


MARTIN: Yes. You know, he's a nice fellow. I - I congratulate you. 


KAREN: Well, thank you. I - I-- I think he's a very attractive man, don't you? 


MARTIN: (UNCONVINCINGLY) Yes. For his type, I-- I would say yes. ...


KAREN: Would you really classify him as a definite type? 


MARTIN: Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. And - and don't you try to change him. Don't you dare put him on a diet.


KAREN: (SLIGHT GASP, DISAPPOINTED) Oh. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) You - you--? Would you call him fat? 


MARTIN: No. I wouldn't. But, well, that's a matter of opinion. Er, personally, I think that little stomach of his gives him a nice homey quality. ... And, er, that's what you want in a husband, isn't it? 


KAREN: (UNCONVINCINGLY) Oh, yes, that's what I want, yes. 


MARTIN: Yeah, I - I thought so. And - and you're right, too! If I were a girl and I had to choose between a young good-for-nothing with lots of hair and a fine solid mature citizen, I think I'd pick Mathias Popkin every time.


KAREN: Mathia--? ... But he--? Don't you think he has a fine mind? Oh, didn't he impress you as being very witty?


MARTIN: Well, he struck me as somewhat depressed, but it's unfair to judge a man when he's out of a job.


KAREN: Out of a job?! ... Why, he never told me!


MARTIN: He never told--? Well, that shows how sensitive he is. But you have nothing to worry about. At least, he feels you both can live very nicely on your salary. 


KAREN: Did you tell him how much I make?! 


MARTIN: Well, he's your fiancé and he asked me. 


KAREN: (EXHALES UNHAPPILY) 


MARTIN: And let me tell you something else. Mentioning that bonus didn't do you any harm, either. 


KAREN: (DEFLATED) Oh, I can't believe it. I never dreamed he was materialistic. Why, if you read his letters-- Such ideals. Such a lofty point of view. It-- Oh, this is horrible.


MARTIN: Oh, I'm sorry you feel this way. I hate to think I spoiled your Christmas.


KAREN: I built up such an illusion about him. I thought he was perfect.


MARTIN: (CLICKS TONGUE ONCE) Mm, and I had to be the one to destroy it. 


KAREN: Well, that's all right. I - I - I really ought to thank you. 


MARTIN: Karen, if I'd known in the beginning how you really felt about me, things would have been different. We wouldn't've been fighting all the time. If we did, it wouldn't've been over handbags and suitcases, but something like-- Well, should your grandmother come and live with us or not? 


KAREN: It's very sweet of you to try to cheer me up like this, but I think we'd better say goodnight. You have an engagement and so have I, and - we shouldn't be late. Good night. 


MUSIC: SNEAKS IN ... "OCHI CHYORNYE" ... GENTLY ROMANTIC, IN BG


MARTIN: No, wait. Wait a minute, wait. You know what I wish would happen? When your bell rings at eight-thirty tonight and you open the door, instead of Popkin, I come in. 


KAREN: Oh, please. You - you're only making it more difficult.


MARTIN: Then I'd say to you, "Karen darling--" 


KAREN: Oh, please, don't. 


MARTIN: Dearest sweetheart Karen, I can't stand it any longer. Please get your key, open Box Two-Thirty-Seven, take me out of my envelope and - please kiss me. 


KAREN: No. No, Mr. Martin, stop. I-- You mustn't. (DOUBLE TAKE) Oh, what?! What did you say? You-- (REALIZES) Ohhhh!


MARTIN: (LIGHTLY, WARMLY) Dear Friend. Dear Box Two-Thirty-Seven. 


KAREN: (STUNNED) Oh. You. You are "Dear Friend"? 


MARTIN: (WITH A CHUCKLE) Yes. Are you disappointed? 


KAREN: Oh, no. Well, psychologically, I'm very confused, but-- ... But, personally, I don't feel bad at all!


MARTIN: (CHUCKLES)


KAREN: You - you wrote all those wonderful letters?


MARTIN: (YES) Uh-huh. 


KAREN: You - you like me? 


MARTIN: Oh, Karen, I love you. 


KAREN: (PLEASED) Ohhhh! (CHUCKLES) Oh, that night -- the time you came to the restaurant -- I was terribly rude to you, wasn't I?


MARTIN: (GENTLY DISMISSIVE) Ohhhh, it was nothing at all.


KAREN: Yes, I was. Don't you remember? Why, I called you bowlegged. 


MARTIN: Yeah. (LAUGHS) And I wanted to prove that I wasn't. I was gonna go out in the street and pull up my trouser legs! 


KAREN: (LAUGHS) Well, would you mind very much if I asked you to pull them up now? 


MARTIN: Well, certainly not. (BEAT) Do you see? 


KAREN: Oh, darling! (LAUGHS) 


MARTIN: (LAUGHS) 


KAREN: Oh, darling, isn't it a wonderful, wonderful Christmas?! 


MUSIC: UP FOR CURTAIN


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: Mr. DeMille will tell us about next week's play in just a moment, and Don Ameche and Claudette Colbert will return to the microphone for their curtain calls. (EERILY) And now I want to tell you about the strange case of the woman with one red hand. (LIGHTER) Sounds like the title of a mystery story, doesn't it? Well, it's really a true story. You see, not long ago, hundreds of women were going around with one hand harsh and red and ugly; the other hand smooth and lovely. The clue to this strange state of affairs was in a famous laboratory. Here is what happened. 


Two dishpans were placed in front of each woman. In one of the dishpans were Lux suds; in the other, suds from a different soap. The women dipped one hand in each of the dishpans and kept on doing this for twenty minutes, three times a day. The conditions were similar to home dishwashing. Five popular soaps in all were tested. Well, at the end of the test, the Lux hands were still soft and smooth, but the others were so red and rough and chapped. As many of the women said: "Of course we knew Lux Flakes are gentle, but we had no idea how much kinder they are to hands." 


Now, if you've been using a harsh soap for dishes, simply change to gentle New Quick Lux Flakes. See how much nicer your hands look; how they lose that embarrassing unattractive dishpan look. The reason is simple. New Quick Lux has none of the harmful alkali that dries the natural oils of your skin. It's thrifty, too, and so fast -- yet New Quick Lux Flakes come in the same familiar package; costs you no more. Buy that generous big box tomorrow and start giving your hands gentle Lux care. And now here's Mr. DeMille with our stars. 


HOST: You can't beat good acting for good entertainment. That's why we wanted Claudette Colbert and Don Ameche tonight. They're back at the footlights now.


AMECHE: Thank you, C. B. Give one of your best salutes, Claudette. You did learn to salute while you were in the army, didn't you? 


COLBERT: Well, certainly, Don. I'll match my salute against any top sergeant in the army!


AMECHE: You know, C. B., Claudette was one of the gang from Hollywood that put on the show at the army camps last week.


HOST: Hollywood couldn't have had a more charming ambassador. What camps did you visit, Claudette? 


COLBERT: Two camps just north of here, C. B.: Camp Hunter Liggett and Fort Ord. 


AMECHE: How many did you have in the audience, Claudette?


COLBERT: Oh, about thirty thousand at Hunter Liggett and twenty thousand at Fort Ord. 


HOST: Sounds as though Hollywood was a success with the army, Claudette. And plans have been made to send entertainment to other camps, too. 


COLBERT: Well, C. B., I want to tell you, that whole trip was one of the biggest thrills I've ever had. I want to do it again soon and often -- as often as the army wants us. 


AMECHE: Yeah, and every actor in Hollywood is ready to help, Claudette. Er, what have you got planned for Lux Radio Theatre next week, C. B.? 


HOST: Ah, there'll be big doings around here next week, Don, and these two names will tell you what I mean: Cary Grant and Myrna Loy.


SOUND: IMPRESSED AUDIENCE REACTS 


HOST: They'll star in the play "I Love You Again," adapted from Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's recent comedy hit, and we promise you that, with Cary and Myrna teamed as husband and wife, the pace never lets down. We'll also have Frank McHugh. So if you love a gay comedy, don't miss "I Love You Again." 


COLBERT: Oh, C. B., that sounds wonderful. I'll be in the audience. Good night.


AMECHE: Goodbye, C. B. 


HOST: No-no-no-no -- not goodbye, not goodbye. We'll just say "till we meet again" to you two.


SOUND: APPLAUSE


MUSIC: LUX THEME ... THEN IN BG, UNTIL END

 

HOST: Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Myrna Loy and Cary Grant in "I Love You Again," with Frank McHugh. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying goodnight to you from Hollywood. 


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: The United Service Organizations, the huge civilian army behind our army and navy, are conducting a drive that should have the backing of every loyal American. There is a USO headquarters in your community. They'll be glad to tell you how you can help in this great work. Claudette Colbert will soon be seen in the Paramount picture "Skylark." Don Ameche has just finished making the Paramount picture "Kiss the Boys Goodbye." Felix Bressart will soon be seen in the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer picture "Blossoms in the Dust." The part of Matuschek was played tonight by Leo Cleary. Also included in tonight's play were Fred MacKaye as Harvey, Ann Tobin as Lily, Bea Benaderet as Miss Baker, Charles Peck as Joey, Verna Felton as shopper, and Lou Merrill, Arthur Q. Bryan, Ferdinand Munier, Jesse Arnold, and Bruce Payne. Our music is directed by Louis Silvers and your announcer has been Melville Ruick. 


SOUND: APPLAUSE ... UNTIL END


ANNOUNCER: This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

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