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Shake Hands with Your Grandson

Campbell's Short Short Story 

Shake Hands with Your Grandson

Mar 11 1940



CAST:

ANNOUNCER, George Putnam

MRS. BLANK


JOHN, the boy

HELEN, the girl

VOICE, of the machine

TOBY, the dog

VANDERPOOL




MUSIC: THEME ... RODGERS AND HART'S "BLUE MOON" ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: Campbell's Short Short Story -- brought to you by Campbell's Tomato Juice, the largest-selling tomato juice in America. Today, we present "Shake Hands with Your Grandson," the story of a young man who did just that.


MUSIC: THEME ... UP BRIEFLY AND FADE BEHIND--


ANNOUNCER: Each Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Campbell's Tomato Juice brings you Campbell's Short Short Story, complete in each broadcast. Today's story, "Shake Hands with Your Grandson," stars Alice Frost and Charles Carroll, leading man of "The Valiant Lady."


MUSIC: THEME ... UP AND FINISH


ANNOUNCER: But now two short short stories about Campbell's Tomato Juice, and the first of these stories is all about flavor.


MRS. BLANK: Let me tell that story, Mr. Putnam. I think I know it even better than you do. You see, I have a family to feed and I know how pleased they are when breakfast starts with Campbell's Tomato Juice.


ANNOUNCER: Uh, sort of like that refreshing garden-sweet flavor, do they?


MRS. BLANK: I should say they do. They empty their glasses right down to the last drop. And, you know, lately we seem to find that Campbell's Tomato Juice tastes even better than it used to.


ANNOUNCER: It is better, too.


MRS. BLANK: But how in the world Campbell's could improve the flavor is more than I can see.


ANNOUNCER: Well, that's my story and it's all about tomatoes. The flavor of Campbell's Tomato Juice is better because Campbell's tomatoes are better. You see, for over thirty years, Campbell's has been working constantly to produce finer and finer tomatoes -- tomatoes more garden-sweet, more full-flavored, and just how good those tomatoes have become you can taste in Campbell's Tomato Juice today.


MRS. BLANK: You didn't quite finish your story, Mr. Putnam. Isn't Campbell's Tomato Juice a healthful vitamin drink, too?


ANNOUNCER: Indeed, it is. A good drink, good for you. And good for all the millions of families who have made Campbell's the largest-selling tomato juice in America. And I hope all you ladies listening will remember to ask your grocer for Campbell's, won't you?


MUSIC: TRANSITION ... THEN OUT BEHIND ANNOUNCER--


ANNOUNCER: And now, your Campbell's Short Short Story, "Shake Hands with Your Grandson." This is a story about a man and a girl and a machine, and the strange adventure that they got into, all three of them. Uh, this is the man, John Vanderpool.


JOHN: I know it'll work! I know it will, I tell ya!


ANNOUNCER: And the girl, Helen.


HELEN: But how do you know, John? That's what I want to know. How?


ANNOUNCER: And this is the machine.


SOUND: MACHINE CRANKS UP AND STARTS TO WHIR NOISILY ... WHIRRING NOISE REACHES A PEAK, THEN QUICKLY SLOWS TO A STOP 


JOHN: There! That's how I know.


HELEN: How?


JOHN: Well, where's Toby?


HELEN: (REALIZES) He's gone. (BEAT, WORRIED) He's gone, John!


JOHN: Sure, he's gone. What did you expect?


HELEN: Where is he?!


JOHN: Honey, you know where he is.


HELEN: You're not going to tell me that nonsense again.


JOHN: Honey, it's not nonsense.


HELEN: (CALLS) Here, Toby! Here, Toby! (WHISTLES) Here, Toby!


JOHN: It won't do any good, darling. You'll have to wait.


HELEN: How long will I have to wait?


JOHN: About thirty-five seconds; I set it for a minute.


HELEN: (UNHAPPY EXCLAMATION) Oh!


JOHN: But, Helen, I tell you--


HELEN: You get Toby out of that machine, John Vanderpool!


JOHN: Sweetheart, will you listen to me? He's not in that machine. He's in the future.


HELEN: (EXASPERATED) Oh, John!


JOHN: I set him on the platform. I set the dial to carry him one minute into the future. When the minute's up, we'll catch up with him in time -- and there he'll be.


HELEN: I don't believe you. I think it's some kind of a trick.


JOHN: No, it's not a trick. Look, darling, for the seven hundredth time, this lever here accelerates the time sense through induced radioactivity.


HELEN: Huh?


JOHN: Now, this one controls the period of time through which the machine operates. And this one--


HELEN: Oh, be still. Isn't the minute up yet?


JOHN: Er, ten seconds yet. Now you watch. When the minute's up, his time and ours will be synchronized and - he'll be back. Now watch. Four seconds. Three seconds. Two. One. Now!


HELEN: (BEAT) All right. Where is he?


JOHN: (PUZZLED) Well-- Oh, now, wait. Er--


HELEN: (MILDLY ANNOYED) What did you do with my dog?


JOHN: Now, darn it. Wait. I - must have set the thing for longer than a minute.


HELEN: I'll say you did. Now stop fooling, John, and let him out. (CALLS) Here, Toby! Here, Toby! Come on, baby!


JOHN: Will you stop shouting into my ear?


HELEN: (WHISTLES) Here, Toby! Here, Toby! 


JOHN: Now, wait. I - I think maybe --


HELEN: (CALLS) Come on, baby!


JOHN: Helen?


HELEN: Huh?


JOHN: Did you monkey with this dial when I put Toby on the platform?


HELEN: Why, I didn't-- (REALIZES THAT SHE DID) Oh. What dial?


JOHN: This one.


HELEN: (WITH DISMAY) Ohhh. Er-- Well, I was kind of twiddling it and-- What's the matter?


JOHN: Nothing, my dear. Except your dog, instead of being one minute in the future, is fifty years and one minute.


HELEN: (TEARFUL) Ohhhh, Tobyyyyyyy!


JOHN: Oh, you idiot. If you'd keep your fingers off things--


HELEN: Oh, John, how are we going to get him back?


JOHN: Well, darling, if we just wait until eleven-six A. M. on Monday, March eleventh, Nineteen Ninety, he'll be right here on that little platform. If the platform's here.


HELEN: But I'll be seventy-four years old then.


JOHN: Ah-ah, seventy-six, darling.


HELEN: Darn you and your time machine.


JOHN: Well, if you'd let it alone--


HELEN: Well, can't you reverse the thing and bring him back?


JOHN: It can only be reversed from the other end -- from the future where it is now.


HELEN: But it's right here.


JOHN: Sure, but its counterpart is in the future, fifty years from now.


HELEN: John Vanderpool, you get Toby back.


JOHN: Darling, I can't. If Toby were smart enough to push this lever here, he could bring himself back.


HELEN: Toby's a very smart dog. I mean, he was. I mean, he will be. Oh, my goodness, what do I mean? (TEARFUL) Oh, my poor little dog! They - they probably don't even have dogs fifty years in the future.


JOHN: Well, they got one.


HELEN: Yes, but what if they think dogs are unsanitary or - or something and they abolish 'em? I read in a magazine-- (WEEPS)


JOHN: Now, now, now, look, Helen, there's no use crying about that pooch. He's probably very happy where he is. Think of all the new things he's got to sniff and--


HELEN: (WAILS) But I love him!


JOHN: You do not. You love me.


HELEN: I hate you! You sent my Toby-dog into the future!


JOHN: Now, kindly remember, young woman, that I sent him one minute into the future. You're the one that added the fifty years.


HELEN: Well, you can just get him back!


JOHN: Helen, I can't.


HELEN: If you sent him there, you can bring him back.


JOHN: Darling, haven't I explained--?


HELEN: (UPSET) You've explained altogether too much, Mr. Vanderpool. I'm glad I found out in time. I - I might have married a - a dog murderer.


JOHN: But, Helen--


HELEN: Here's your ring, you - you dog murderer.

 

JOHN: Helen, listen to me--


HELEN: I won't listen to a word till you get my Toby back again!


JOHN: Haven't I told you I--?! (EXHALES, CALMLY) I'll get him back for you.


HELEN: (SURPRISED, BUT STILL MAD) But-- Well, you better.


JOHN: (DETERMINED) I'll get him.


HELEN: Oh. How?


JOHN: I'm going after him.


HELEN: (SKEPTICAL) Hm.


JOHN: Oh, you think I can't, huh?


HELEN: I think you can't.


JOHN: Well, you just watch.


SOUND: JOHN TWIDDLES DIALS, MOUNTS THE PLATFORM


HELEN: (WORRIED) Oh, John! John, no, no!


JOHN: What?


HELEN: What are you gonna do?


JOHN: What do you care?


HELEN: Listen, John--


JOHN: Listen, my eye. I'll get your dog.


SOUND: MACHINE CRANKS UP AND STARTS TO WHIR NOISILY ... THEN IN BG


HELEN: Oh! John! John, wait for me! Jooooooohhhhhnnnnn!


SOUND: WHIRRING MACHINE TOPS HELEN ... THEN IN BG


VOICE: (FILTERED) Nineteen Fifty! -- Nineteen Sixty! -- Nineteen Seventy! -- Nineteen Eighty! -- Nineteen Ninety!


SOUND: MACHINE OUT ABRUPTLY


MUSIC: ACCENT


SOUND: JOHN AND HELEN EXHALE/SIGH AND EXCLAIM AS THEY LAND IN THE FUTURE


JOHN: (CHECKS THE DIAL, UNCERTAINLY) Nineteen Ninety. Ah. Here we are.


HELEN: (ASTONISHED) John, it - it worked.


JOHN: (NERVOUSLY) Yeah.


SOUND: SPLIT-SECOND WHOOSH!


JOHN: (STARTLED EXCLAMATION) 


HELEN: Oh! What was that?


JOHN: (SOBERLY) Airplane of some kind. My gosh.


HELEN: (QUIETLY) I don't like this, John.


JOHN: (SLOWLY) Yeah, I wish I'd brought a gun or something.


HELEN: Me, too.


JOHN: Place sure has changed.


HELEN: There's the Empire State Building.


JOHN: That little bit o' thing?


HELEN: It's the same size, John. It's just the other buildings; they're bigger.


SOUND: SPLIT-SECOND WHOOSH! 


HELEN: (STARTLED) Oh!


SOUND: MORE SPLIT-SECOND WHOOSHES! ZIP BY


JOHN: Look -- a whole train of airplanes. By golly.


HELEN: (UNHAPPY) John, is it really Nineteen Ninety?


JOHN: It's got to be.


HELEN: Let's go home, John.


JOHN: Without Toby? Not a chance.


HELEN: Oh, Toby -- I'd forgotten him.


TOBY: (BARKS, FROM OFF)


HELEN: (OVERJOYED) Toby! Ohhhhhh!


TOBY: (APPROACHES, BARKING)


HELEN: (HUGS TOBY, AS IF TO A BABY) Did-ums little Toby get lost? Oh, poor Toby!


JOHN: (REACTS UNSENTIMENTALLY) Oh, nuts.


SOUND: WEIRD NOISE TO INDICATE SUDDEN ARRIVAL OF VANDERPOOL 


HELEN: (STARTLED) Oh!


VANDERPOOL: (POLITE) I'm sorry if I frightened you. I was in San Francisco when I suddenly realized the time. I hurried.


JOHN: (DRY) Yes, you must have.


VANDERPOOL: I see your time machine, sir. It's similar to the one in which your little pet arrived a few moments ago.


JOHN: That's right. We came after him, y'see.


VANDERPOOL: Yes, indeed. May I introduce myself? My name is John Vanderpool.


JOHN & 

HELEN: (SURPRISED) What?


VANDERPOOL: My name is John Vanderpool.


JOHN: Why, that's my name.


VANDERPOOL: Indeed, sir. It was also my grandfather's name.


JOHN: Well, I'll be darned. Oh, excuse me. This is Miss Gilbertson.


VANDERPOOL: How do you do, Miss Gilbertson? Your name is quite familiar to me.


HELEN: (WHISPERS NERVOUSLY) John, let's get out of here, please.


VANDERPOOL: I had planned on your being my guests, Miss Gilbertson.


HELEN: Oh, well, we couldn't think of that. We just came to get Toby.


TOBY: (BARKS)


HELEN: (TO TOBY, AS IF TO A BABY) Oh, does-ums want to go home? 


TOBY: (YELPS IN AGREEMENT)


HELEN: (TO THE JOHNS) See? Toby says yes.


VANDERPOOL: (MILDLY SURPRISED) You understand his language, Miss Gilbertson?


JOHN: (DRY) She just thinks she does.


VANDERPOOL: I wish you could have stayed. We could have run over to Paris this afternoon for the races and then dinner in Shanghai.


JOHN: Are you kidding?


HELEN: (OVERLAPS WITH ABOVE) Hm?


VANDERPOOL: My dear sir, I am the keeper of the records of the city-state of New York. Would I stoop to pleasantry?


JOHN: I - I guess not. I was kidding.


HELEN: John, please--


JOHN: I, uh-- Er, it's rather difficult for me to explain who we are, Mister, er, Vanderpool. Er, John. May I call you John?


VANDERPOOL: Of course, sir. I'm quite aware of your identity, sir. And Miss Gilbertson's.


JOHN: Oh, you are? Oh! You mean because we introduced ourselves. Well, but-- Look. So you know who we are. I mean, er--


HELEN: What he means is - you don't know when we are.


TOBY: (YELPS A LITTLE)


HELEN: See? Toby says, "That's right."


VANDERPOOL: Oh, but I know that, too.


JOHN: Well, how do you--? I mean-- Look, this is Nineteen Ninety, isn't it?


VANDERPOOL: Oh, yes, indeed. But you forget that I am keeper of the records of the city-state of New York.


JOHN: Huh?


VANDERPOOL: Our histories tell us, dear sir, that in the year Nineteen Forty on the eleventh of March, you and Miss Gilbertson made a short trip into the future. Fifty years, to be exact.


JOHN: My gosh, I never thought of that.


VANDERPOOL: We have been waiting for you, you see. And since you and I bear the same name, it was I who was elected to meet you.


JOHN: I'm a monkey's uncle.


VANDERPOOL: I'm sorry that you have to go, dear sir and dear madam. I wish we could have gone to the races, had dinner in Shanghai, but one cannot change history.


HELEN: Oh, I'm all mixed up.


VANDERPOOL: According to your own records, which are now in our archives, your time machine will cease to function in one minute. 


HELEN: (WORRIED) Oh!


VANDERPOOL: You have just time to get back to your own year, Nineteen Forty.


JOHN: Oh, golly, I wish I could stay.


VANDERPOOL: You had best hurry, sir. There's so little time.


JOHN: Yes, yes.


TOBY: (BARKS EXCITEDLY)


HELEN: (NERVOUS) John, if you don't hurry--


JOHN: Yes, my dear. (HURRIEDLY, TO VANDERPOOL) Well, goodbye, old boy, and - and thanks.


VANDERPOOL: We'll meet again, sir, I promise you.


JOHN: (IN A HURRY) I certainly hope so. Well, thanks. Glad to have met you.


VANDERPOOL: And perhaps before you go, you'd like to shake hands with your grandson?


JOHN &

HELEN: Huh?


VANDERPOOL: Goodbye. And here's a souvenir of the year Nineteen Ninety for you. (MOVING OFF) Make haste and goodbye!


HELEN: Start the machine, John, quick!


SOUND: MACHINE CRANKS UP AND STARTS TO WHIR NOISILY ... JOHN AND HELEN EXCLAIM WITH RELIEF THAT THEY ARE UNDERWAY AND THEN CALL GOODBYES TO VANDERPOOL WHILE TOBY BARKS... WHIRRING MACHINE TOPS THEM ... THEN IN BG


VOICE: (FILTERED) Nineteen Ninety! -- Nineteen Eighty! -- Nineteen Seventy! -- Nineteen Sixty! -- Nineteen Fifty! -- Nineteen Forty!


SOUND: MACHINE SKIDS INTO 1940 AND CRASHES NOISILY TO A HALT, WRECKING ITSELF IN THE PROCESS ... TOBY BARKS WHILE JOHN AND HELEN EXCLAIM AS THEY LAND IN 1940


HELEN: Oh, my gracious! We're back.


JOHN: Yeah. (SIGHS)


HELEN: And look at your time machine. Just as the man said. (BEAT) John? What did he mean about shaking hands with your grandson?


JOHN: Darned if I know. (SADLY) Look at my beautiful machine.


HELEN: What was that paper he gave you for a souvenir?


JOHN: Oh. (LOOKS AT PAPER, SURPRISED) Well-- Well, I'll be doggoned.


HELEN: Well, what is it?


JOHN: Look at it, Helen. Read the part marked in red pencil.


HELEN: Why, it's a page out of a history book. (READS) "And on March eleventh, Nineteen Forty, John Vanderpool and Helen Gilbertson were married--" (REALIZES) Marr--? Why, John-- He must have been our grandson. (THINKS TWICE) Oh, but it's March eleventh and - we're not married.


JOHN: Well, we've still got till midnight, darling. You know, we can't change history.


TOBY: (BARKS IN CHEERFUL AGREEMENT)


MUSIC: FOR A HAPPY ENDING ... THEN IN BG--


ANNOUNCER: (CHUCKLES) And so they were married and lived happily ever after. (BEAT) I wonder what happened when they got back to Nineteen Ninety. Did they meet themselves? Or, uh--? Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I'd better stop this.


MUSIC: FOR A HUMOROUS CURTAIN ... THEN OUT


ANNOUNCER: I suppose there's some people who buy tomato juice without saying what brand they want. You know, just take whatever brand is given them?


MRS. BLANK: Not at our house, Mr. Putnam.


ANNOUNCER: Er, why do you say that, Mrs. Blank?


MRS. BLANK: Well, I sent Billy to the store the other day for tomato juice and I forgot to tell him to be sure to ask for Campbell's. The next morning at breakfast, I didn't say anything, but my family said plenty, I can tell you. And from now on you can be sure even seven-year-old Billy will ask for Campbell's.


ANNOUNCER: In other words, once people have enjoyed the deep full mellow garden-sweetness of Campbell's, no other tomato juice will do. They remember the refreshing sparkling flavor of that first sip, and from then on, that's what they demand in their tomato juice -- a real garden freshness that comes only from luscious, sun-ripened tomatoes, picked right at the peak of their juicy perfection. But fine flavor is not all Campbell's Tomato Juice brings you. It brings you fresh tomato vitamins, too -- Vitamins A and B, and Vitamin C, which builds toward buoyant health. Indeed, today there is no better-balanced vitamin drink than Campbell's Tomato Juice. No wonder families everywhere are turning to Campbell's, the largest-selling tomato juice in America. Are you enjoying it -- often?


MUSIC: THEME ... "BLUE MOON" ... OUT BEHIND--


ANNOUNCER: Each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Campbell's Tomato Juice brings you Campbell's Short Short Story. Wednesday at this same time our story will be "As Good as Caruso," the tale of a successful radio crooner who got operatic ambitions. This is George Putnam, inviting you to tune in Wednesday for "As Good as Caruso," presented with the compliments of Campbell's Tomato Juice. Now please keep listening for LIFE BEGINS, THE STORY OF MARTHA WEBSTER, which follows immediately.


MUSIC: "LIFE BEGINS" THEME ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: Campbell's Scotch Broth brings you another chapter of LIFE BEGINS, THE STORY OF MARTHA WEBSTER-- 


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