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Mrs. Anderson Runs for President

A Day in the Life of Dennis Day

Mrs. Anderson Runs for President

Dec 17 1947



CAST:

ANNOUNCER, Verne Smith

2ND ANNCR 

SINGER

3RD ANNCR (1 line)

NBC ANNCR (1 line)


DENNIS DAY

MILDRED, his girl

MRS. ANDERSON, his landlady, Mildred's imperious mother

MR. WILLOUGHBY, his boss

MRS. OLSBERG, the mayor's imperious wife

MR. PHILLIPS, pompous, surly

MRS. HASTINGS

and a CROWD of club LADIES




MUSIC: DRUM ROLL INTO ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF LEHAR'S "YOURS IS MY HEART ALONE" ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Dennis Day.


DENNIS: (SINGS)

All that makes life seem worthwhile,

Dwells in your eyes and the spell of your smile!


ANNOUNCER: Dennis Day is brought to you by Colgate Dental Cream and Luster-Creme Shampoo. Colgate Dental Cream, to clean your breath while you clean your teeth; Luster-Creme Shampoo, for soft glamorous "dream girl" hair.


MUSIC: UP AND OUT


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: "The Dennis Day Show," with Barbara Eiler, Bea Benaderet, John Brown, Charles Dant and the Orchestra, and yours truly, Verne Smith, is written by Frank Galen, and stars our popular young singer in "A Day in the Life of Dennis Day."


MUSIC: FOR 1947 SONG "LET'S PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF" BY JAY MILTON AND LEWIS BELLIN ... IN BG


ANNOUNCER: Here's Dennis to sing "Let's Pick Up Where We Left Off."


DENNIS: (SINGS "LET'S PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF")


MUSIC: SONG ENDS


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth.


2ND ANNCR: No other toothpaste does a better job of cleaning teeth than Colgate Dental Cream, for Colgate Dental Cream has a safe polishing agent that cleans your teeth both gently and thoroughly; brings out their natural sparkle and beauty. You can actually see and feel the difference.


ANNOUNCER: And scientific tests prove that Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Yes, actual scientific tests prove conclusively that in seven out of ten cases Colgate's instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth.


2ND ANNCR: Colgate Dental Cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor, too. Nationwide tests of leading toothpastes prove that Colgate's is preferred for flavor over every other brand tested. Yes, preferred over every other brand tested.


ANNOUNCER: And no wonder, for Colgate Dental Cream is the result of constant effort to produce the finest toothpaste in the world today. 


2ND ANNCR: For cleaning teeth, for flavor, for sweetening breath. 


ANNOUNCER: So see if you don't agree with the millions who have made Colgate Dental Cream America's favorite toothpaste. Try Colgate Dental Cream to bring out the natural sparkle and beauty of your teeth, for a wake-up flavor you'll thoroughly enjoy.


2ND ANNCR: And always use Colgate Dental Cream after you eat and before every date, to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. 


MUSIC: INTRODUCTION


ANNOUNCER: Well, our young hero, Dennis Day, even more so than most of us at this time of year, is face-to-face with a dilemma of Christmas presents. There are three questions confronting him: what should he buy, who should he buy it for, and for heaven's sake, what with?! ... In particular he's concerned about a gift for the head of the Anderson household, his present landlady and prospective mother-in-law -- and since this requires thinking, he's wasted no time and gone directly to his girlfriend Mildred for help. 


MILDRED: A present for mother? Well, you don't have to get her anything too grand, Dennis. Just buy her something you can afford.


DENNIS: That's the trouble. They don't sell them that cheap. ...


MILDRED: Don't sell what?


DENNIS: Name it and they don't sell them that cheap. ...


MILDRED: But, Dennis, you must have some money. You've been saving up out of your salary for months.


DENNIS: Yeah, I know, but an emergency came up Monday afternoon that wiped out half of my savings.


MILDRED: An emergency?


DENNIS: Yeah, I got a little hungry and bought myself a hamburger. ...


MILDRED: Oh, golly. Well, you'll simply have to do the best you can then. After all, it isn't the gift so much; it's the spirit behind it that counts.


DENNIS: Well, I wish your mother knew that. I didn't like her suggestion at all.


MILDRED: Her suggestion? You mean you asked mother and she told you what to get?


DENNIS: Sure.


MILDRED: What?


DENNIS: Lost. ...


MILDRED: Oh, I'm sure she didn't mean it. It's just that she's been so preoccupied lately with all those meetings and her campaign and the speech she's gonna-- (BEAT, INSPIRED) Say!


DENNIS: Huh?


MILDRED: Listen. You know about mother being an S.O.W., don't you? ...


DENNIS: Mildred, I might think it, but I'd never say it. ...


MILDRED: Oh, silly! S.O.W. stands for Socialites of Weaverville. It's the club she belongs to.


DENNIS: Oh.


MILDRED: And she's running for president. Look, she's worried to death about the campaign speech she'll have to make. If you could write her one that would get her elected--


DENNIS: Mildred, what are you saying?


MILDRED: I'm saying that would be the nicest Christmas present you could possibly give her.


DENNIS: But a speech. I--


MILDRED: Dennis, there's nothing to it. All you have to do is put words in my mother's mouth.


DENNIS: Boy, that's really carrying coals to Newcastle. ...


MILDRED: But, Dennis, I know you can do it. You write very well and after she reads what--


SOUND: DOOR OPENS


MILDRED: Oh, good morning, mother.


MRS. A: (IMPERIOUS) Good morning, Mildred. (DISAPPROVING) Dennis.


DENNIS: G'morning, Mrs. Anderson.


MILDRED: Oh, mother, Dennis has the most wonderful surprise for you. We can't tell you what it is yet, but it's gonna make you the happiest person in the world.


MRS. A: (PLEASED) Why, Dennis! You darling! You-- But where on Earth did you find a vacancy?! ...


DENNIS: Oh, I'm not moving, Mrs. Anderson.


MRS. A: (DISAPPOINTED) Ohhhh.


MILDRED: (EXHALES) Oh, no -- this is something you'll really love, mother. (HINTS) And I think Dennis realizes now how important it is -- don't you, Dennis?


DENNIS: I'll say. I'll see ya later, Mildred.


SOUND: DOOR CLOSES AS DENNIS EXITS


MILDRED: Well, mother -- how's your campaign going?


MRS. A: Oh, just perfectly, Mildred. Do you know, I'm getting so confident, I've even bought myself a gavel.


MILDRED: Oh, really?


MRS. A: Yes, and I've been practicing with it all week -- banging it on the bureau and telling your father he's out of order! ...


MILDRED: Well, I'm certainly glad you're so hopeful.


MRS. A: Oh, I don't see how I can lose now. Mrs. Olsberg has decided to back me, you know.


MILDRED: The mayor's wife? Why, that's marvelous!


MRS. A: Yes, she's giving a tea for me tomorrow. And that isn't all. She's invited Arthur Phillips, the famous author.


MILDRED: Why, that's simply terrific! That means everyone'll be there.


MRS. A: Yes. And he'll be introduced as my protégé. I just couldn't choose a better time to make my campaign speech. Oh, if I only had it written!


MILDRED: (EXHALES, PLEASED) Oh, don't worry, mother. It will be. Maybe someone'll help you with it.


MRS. A: What? Who?


MILDRED: Oh, someone who knows exactly how you speak.


MRS. A: (ALARMED) It isn't your father, is it? Remember, I'm addressing ladies! ...


MILDRED: You just forget about it and concentrate on getting more votes than Mrs. Hastings.


MRS. A: Yes. Oh, won't it be wonderful if I'm elected? Me -- your little mother -- the biggest S.O.W. in the whole town! ...


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: DOOR OPENS


DENNIS: Mildred, Mildred, I've got it! It's all done!


MILDRED: The speech?


DENNIS: Yeah. I went down to the public library and stayed up all night writing it.


MILDRED: And it's really good?


DENNIS: Oh, it's magnificent. It's a speech that Washington or Lincoln or Jefferson might have delivered. In fact, they did. ...


MILDRED: What do you mean?


DENNIS: Well, Mildred, I couldn't trust my own brains for this. There was too much at stake. So I borrowed things from all the great speeches of history.


MILDRED: Why, Dennis, that's marvelous! What an idea!


DENNIS: Yeah. And look who it occurred to. You never know, huh? ...


MILDRED: Oh, it's wonderful. Mother's gotta hear it right away. (CALLS) Oh, mother, would you come into the living room a minute?!


MRS. A: (APPROACHES) What is it, Mildred?


MILDRED: Mother, get ready for your big surprise. Your campaign speech is all written for you. Dennis wrote it.


MRS. A: (AGHAST) Dennis?! Dennis Day wrote--?! Mildred, I'm your own mother; blood must be thicker than this! ...


MILDRED: Wait, mother -- it's all done and it's marvelous. At least give him a chance to read it to you.


MRS. A: I'm-- (RELENTS, WITH MISGIVINGS) Oh, very well, go ahead, Dennis. Only it better be good!


DENNIS: Oh, it is, Mrs. Anderson. Listen, here's the way it starts out. (CLEARS THROAT, ORATES) Four score and seven years ago when I was born, I-- ...


MRS. A: What?


MILDRED: Dennis! You can't say that. That makes mother eighty-seven years old. ...


DENNIS: But it's such a beautiful phrase, I hate to lose it just because of a year or two. ...


MILDRED: Well, go ahead with the rest of it. We'll change that later.


DENNIS: Okay. (ORATES) Ladies, we are met today upon this battlefield-- ...


MRS. A: Battlefield? Young man, this is a meeting of my women's club.


DENNIS: Yes, ma'am, but I was home the last time you held a meeting here and from what I heard--


MRS. A: Never mind! ... Never mind what you heard.


MILDRED: Dennis, maybe you'd better skip to the body of the speech.


DENNIS: Well, all right. That's the part where you state your platform. In quick succession, you call for the abolition of slavery, support the Monroe Doctrine, and remember the Alamo! ...


MRS. A: That's my platform, is it?


DENNIS: Yes, ma'am. Then you hit 'em with your campaign slogan.


MRS. A: My campaign slogan?


DENNIS: Yeah. (ENTHUSIASTIC) "Tippecanoe and Anderson, too!" ...


MRS. A: It'll be interesting to see what they hit me with. ...


MILDRED: Is that the end of the speech, Dennis?


DENNIS: Oh, no. She finishes up by promising a chicken in every pot.


MRS. A: That's nice.


DENNIS: Yeah. And then you throw in a little joke like speakers always do. You say: (ORATES) And speaking of a chicken in every pot, I notice that each of you little chickens sure has a little--


MRS. A: (INTERRUPTS) Dennis! ...


DENNIS: Well, what's the matter? Is it off-color? ...


MILDRED: Dennis, I think you better get to the conclusion.


DENNIS: Oh, yeah. Wait till you hear that. Boy, is it dramatic! She cries out, "I am dying, Egypt, dying!" And with that, she pulls out an adder and lets it bite her. ...


MRS. A: I let an adder bite me?


DENNIS: Oh, not a real adder, of course. That might sting. You can have a worm stuck down your dress. ...


MRS. A: And that's the speech you've written for me?


DENNIS: Why, Mrs. Anderson, you don't like it. It's no use denying it; I can see it in your face. ...


MRS. A: I thought you might. It needs work, Dennis. I suggest you go someplace and work on it.


DENNIS: Go someplace?


MRS. A: Yes. Like Outer Mongolia! ... And don't come back!


SOUND: DOOR SLAMS AS MRS. A EXITS


DENNIS: Gee whiz. Yesterday she despised me and today our relationship has deteriorated. ...


MILDRED: Now, don't you worry, Dennis. From what she told me, she'll get the presidency even without your campaign speech.


DENNIS: Well, I better get her some kind of Christmas present to square myself. Looks like I'll have to brace Mr. Willoughby again for an advance. Gee, I wish you were coming along.


MILDRED: Me? What for?


DENNIS: Well, you know my boss. While I'm bracing him, who's gonna brace me? ...


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: SHOP DOOR OPENS, BELL RINGS


DENNIS: Morning, Mr. Willoughby.


WILLOUGHBY: Good morning, Dennis.


DENNIS: Oh, Mr. Willoughby, there's something I gotta talk to ya about. You see, it's this way--


WILLOUGHBY: (INTERRUPTS, RAPIDLY) Business has been terrible, this is the worst month in ten years, can't pay the rent, on the verge of bankruptcy, if something doesn't happen we'll have to close up the store.


DENNIS: Huh?


WILLOUGHBY: (MISCHIEVOUS) Sorry, did I interrupt you? ...


DENNIS: No. I didn't know it, but I was through. ...


WILLOUGHBY: Well, I wasn't kidding, Dennis. I've never seen our business as bad as it is. And I don't understand why, either.


DENNIS: I think it's because we're getting fewer customers and they don't buy as much. ... That sort of thing is bound to be felt, you know.


WILLOUGHBY: By George, you've got something there, my boy. And I can't wait till you take it away. ... Anyway, the fact remains that I can't make ends meet any more. I've cut my overhead to the bone.


DENNIS: I know.


WILLOUGHBY: In fact, the only thing I haven't cut is your salary. (BEAT, INSPIRED) Say!


DENNIS: (ALARMED) Please, Mr. Willoughby, let's not tamper with the bone! ...


WILLOUGHBY: Well, all right. What this store really needs is a publicity angle. Something to get us talked about all over town. Anything!


DENNIS: Anything?


WILLOUGHBY: Well, sure. I think it was Jimmy Walker who said, "I don't care what people say about me, just so they say something." That's publicity!


DENNIS: Oh, you just want people to talk about the store, huh?


WILLOUGHBY: Exactly. The more people talk about you, the surer they are to think of you when they want to buy something. If you want to earn a raise, Dennis, start thinking up some publicity angle for us.


DENNIS: A raise?! Boy, I'll get my brain working on it right away.


WILLOUGHBY: (UNENTHUSIASTIC) I was afraid that's what you'd call on. ... (MOVING OFF) Well, get up front. I'm gonna work on the books.


DENNIS: Yes, sir. (TO HIMSELF) Gee, what a funny business. Now, if I could only think of something--


SOUND: SHOP DOOR OPENS, BELL RINGS


DENNIS: Oh, good morning, madam. May I--? Oh, hello, Mrs. Olsberg. How's the mayor this morning?


MRS. O: He's fine, thank you. I'd like a jar of skin softener, please, and a dozen--


DENNIS: (INTERRUPTS) Gosh, Mrs. Olsberg, I just got a wonderful idea! Would you do something for me?


MRS. O: What?


DENNIS: Well, would you mind talking to people all over town about Willoughby's? You know, how nice it is to trade here and how courteous we are to customers and all that?


MRS. O: But why on Earth should I?


DENNIS: Well, I'll bet you'd tell people about it if we insulted you.


MRS. O: Indeed I would!


DENNIS: (THOUGHTFUL) Oh, I see.


MRS. O: Now, would you kindly take my order, please?


DENNIS: (BRISK) What's the hurry, fatso? Keep your bloomers on!


MRS. O: (GASPS) ... What?


DENNIS: You heard me. How could you miss with ears that size? ...


MRS. O: Why, this is fantastic. I've never been insulted like this before in my life.


DENNIS: Well, that's your fault for not getting in here more often, broad beam! ...


MRS. O: I warn you, young man, one more impertinence and I shall walk out of this store.


DENNIS: Now we're getting somewhere. Come on, fatso, what is it you wanted?


MRS. O: I told you I wanted something to soften my skin.


DENNIS: Have you tried a pneumatic drill?


MRS. O: (GASPS) ... This time you've done it, young man!


DENNIS: (PLEASED, HOPEFUL) I have, huh? And what are you gonna do about it, flappy lips? Blab it all over town? ...


MRS. O: I certainly am!


DENNIS: Atta girl. I knew I couldn't have picked a better blabberer.


MRS. O: (GASPS) ... I'm going to tell this to every member of my club.


DENNIS: Atta girl!


MRS. O: And particularly I'm going to tell it to Mrs. Anderson!


DENNIS: Atta gir--! (DOUBLE TAKE) Pardon me, could I have a clarification on that?


MRS. O: You live at her house -- and if you're the kind of person with whom she associates, I shall withdraw my support of her for president of the club!


DENNIS: For president--? Mrs. Olsberg, I feel that I have made a series of nasty blunders.


MRS. O: Oh, you do, do you?!


DENNIS: (DESPERATELY) Yes, ma'am. You're a dreamboat, Mrs. Olsberg. I love you. I want you in my harbor. Please sail into my--


SOUND: SHOP DOOR SHUTS, BELL RINGS, AS MRS. O EXITS


DENNIS: (TO HIMSELF, UNHAPPY) And so, as the sun slowly sinks in the west, we say farewell to Dennis Day. ...


MUSIC: BRIDGE


MILDRED: Oh, Dennis, how could you? What'll mother do?


DENNIS: I don't know. I just know who she'll do it to. ...


MILDRED: Now Mrs. Olsberg's sure to support mother's opponent, that Mrs. Hastings. She'll make her the guest of honor at that tea tomorrow.


DENNIS: Yeah, I know.


MILDRED: And now that writer'll be Mrs. Hasting's protégé and he'll-- Wait!


DENNIS: Now what?


MILDRED: What if this Mr. Phillips, the writer, turned out to be just an awful person? Someone who could lose the election for Mrs. Hastings instead of winning it for her. You follow me?


DENNIS: No, the road's too rough. But keep going. ...


MILDRED: Don't you see? You're going to take Mr. Phillips' place at the tea! None of the girls have ever seen him and I'll fix you up so no one'll recognize you.


DENNIS: Yeah, but what about the real Mr. Phillips?


MUSIC: SNEAKS IN BEHIND MILDRED ... BUILDS TO BRIDGE IN BG


MILDRED: Well, that's the easy part. Listen, your friend Bill Harding is the desk clerk down at the Weaverville Hotel where Mr. Phillips has his reservation.


DENNIS: Uh huh?


MILDRED: Now, here's what you do. You ask Bill if he'll do you a little favor, and when-- 


MUSIC: UP FOR BRIDGE


DENNIS: Gee, it sure was nice of Bill to let me take his place behind the desk, but if that Mr. Phillips doesn't show up soon, then--


MILDRED: Oh, Dennis, look! I'll bet that's him coming across the foyer now.


DENNIS: At last. Boy, I sure hope this works.


MILDRED: Oh, it's just got to, Dennis. (MOVING OFF) I'll duck into the office here. Good luck.


DENNIS: Yeah. (TO PHILLIPS) Er, yes, sir? Can I help you, sir?


PHILLIPS: My name is Arthur Phillips of New York City.


DENNIS: Ah, yes, Mr. Phillips, we've been expecting you. How are you, sir?


PHILLIPS: (CURT) My train was an hour late. I'm due at a tea. I'd like a room and in a hurry, please.


DENNIS: (FEIGNS MILD INDIGNATION) Mr. Phillips, when I ask someone how they are, they generally tell me.


PHILLIPS: (MILDLY IRRITATED) Oh, I beg your pardon. I'm fine, just fine.


DENNIS: (MATTER-OF-FACT) Who cares? ...


PHILLIPS: Look, young man, I'd like to register, if I may.


DENNIS: Aren't ya gonna ask me how I am?


PHILLIPS: (ANNOYED) Very well. How are you?


DENNIS: I've got an ulcer. ...


PHILLIPS: I'm glad to hear it! ... Now, if you don't mind, I just got in, I'm very tired, I'd like my room.


DENNIS: What room is that?


PHILLIPS: The room I reserved here by wire!


DENNIS: Oh, that. That's gone. ...


PHILLIPS: Wha--? You mean you rented it to someone else?


DENNIS: Oh, I had to; I couldn't help myself.


PHILLIPS: Why not?


DENNIS: I was bribed. ...


PHILLIPS: I see. And now you want me to bribe you, too, huh?


DENNIS: Well, we're full up to the fourth floor, but I suppose you could try to bribe me for one on the fifth floor if you want to.


PHILLIPS: All right, I'll bribe you for a room on the fifth floor!


DENNIS: (FEIGNS BROAD INDIGNATION) What?! I wouldn't take it!


PHILLIPS: Why not?


DENNIS: (MATTER-OF-FACT) We got no fifth floor. ...


PHILLIPS: Now, look here, my man, this hotel wired me confirming my reservation. (EXPLODES) And I demand a room! (QUIETLY) You understand? ...


DENNIS: If that's the way you feel, we do have one room left -- Three-Oh-Six.


PHILLIPS: Is it a nice room?


DENNIS: Sure. Here's the key and the flit gun. ...


PHILLIPS: Flit gun? What's that for?


DENNIS: Well, the room is vacant, but not entirely unoccupied. ...


PHILLIPS: Good heavens! Has this room got a bath?


DENNIS: No, but the bathroom is pretty convenient. Just walk to your right as you leave the room.


PHILLIPS: How far?


DENNIS: Just to the first traffic light. ...


PHILLIPS: The first traffic light?


DENNIS: From there, you can't miss it. Just turn right again; it's the next filling station on your left. ...


PHILLIPS: Why, this is ridiculous!


DENNIS: Oh, but you'll love the room. It's very attractive. And if you like to lie in bed and read the Police Gazette, it's--


PHILLIPS: (INTERRUPTS) I don't!


DENNIS: Oh, too bad. That's what the walls are papered with. ...


PHILLIPS: What?!


DENNIS: And it's nice and cozy and warm, too. The chimney for the incinerator's right outside your window.


PHILLIPS: (EXASPERATED) Young man, if you think I'm going to stay in a fleabag like this, you're very much mistaken! I'm taking the next train back to New York!


DENNIS: That's the way to talk. You had me a little worried for a while.


PHILLIPS: Just do one last favor for me. Call up those S.O.W.'s and tell them they'll have to wallow around without me! Goodbye! ... 


DENNIS: So long, old man!


[APPLAUSE FOR MR. PHILLIPS]


MILDRED: Oh, Dennis, I heard everything! You were just wonderful!


DENNIS: Yeah, I think I've hit a hot streak. I sure hope it doesn't cool before that tea.


MUSIC: BRIDGE


SOUND: BOISTEROUS MURMUR OF LADIES' CLUB ... OUT WITH--


MRS. A: Mrs. Olsberg, won't you reconsider? After all, what Dennis Day does can hardly be considered my--


MRS. O: Mrs. Anderson, please! I've made up my mind to support Elizabeth Hastings and that's final!


SOUND: DOORBELL RINGS


MRS. O: Oh, Mrs. Hastings! That must be Mr. Phillips!


MRS. H: Oh, my author! My own dear author, at last! Now, don't forget, ladies! The gentleman you're about to meet is typical of the distinguished friends I shall introduce you to - if I am elected president.


SOUND: LADIES' CLUB MURMURS EXCITEDLY UNTIL FRONT DOOR OPENS


MRS. H: Oh, Mr. Phillips! Oh I'm so glad to see you! How do you do?!


DENNIS: (USES RASPY VOICE OF A DIRTY OLD MAN) Howdy, babe. (EXHALES) ...


MRS. H: I'm fine, thank you. Won't you come in? (LOW) I've told these other ladies that you and I are very old personal friends, Mr. Phillips. I hope you don't mind, but this election could mean my name in the Social Register.


DENNIS: Shucks, kiddo. As the girdle said to the fat lady, "If you can get it in, I won't spread it around." (CACKLES MADLY) Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! ...


MRS. H: Yes, I'm sure. And now-- And now I do want you to meet my club members. Oh, Mrs. Olsberg, this is Mr. Phillips.


MRS. O: Oh, Mr. Phillips, this is the thrill of my life! I can't tell you how delighted I am to meet you!


DENNIS: Well, you ain't a bad lookin' hunk o' stuff yourself, Baldy. (WHISTLES SHRILLY THRICE) Ta-weet! Ta-weet! Ta-weet!


MRS. O: (SHOCKED) Why, Mr. Phillips! So Mr. Phillips is typical of your old friends, is he, Mrs. Hastings?


MRS. H: Why, er-- Why--


DENNIS: Oh, sure! Me and Liz have been pals ever since her old man used to run that big saloon on Forty-Seventh Street -- eh, Liz?


MRS. H: (MORTIFIED) What?! Why, he never--!


DENNIS: Come off it, Liz. Ladies, you should've seen this kid put it away when she was a little tyke. She used to holler "Bottoms up!" so often, she began walkin' around on her hands!


SOUND: LADIES GASP IN HORROR ...


MRS. H: Why, really! I knew you were--


DENNIS: Hey, what a looker! Boy, remember how proud the old man was when ya got into the chorus at Minsky's, Liz? ... Boy, she really had a shape once. Yesiree, the kid was really stacked. Never know it the way she's come unpiled, huh? ...


MRS. H: Now, really, Mr. Phillips! Ladies, this man is--!


DENNIS: And sing! Oh, what a voice! Come on, Liz, let's give 'em one of those old songs of yours. Hey, hey, come on.


MRS. H: Why, I don't know what you're talking about!


DENNIS: Come on, Liz! How 'bout that cute little thing you used to do called, "She Thought They'd Drive in the Park, But Instead They Parked in the Drive"! Haw! Haw! Haw! ... Or, say, how 'bout that little ballad you introduced, Liz, called, "We Kissed on the Roof 'Neath the Moon's Soft Glare, Through the Trap of Your Father's Long Underwear"? ...


MRS. O: Well, Mrs. Hastings! Is that the kind of woman we want for our president, ladies? I, for one, am leaving! (MOVING OFF) I've never been so--


SOUND: LADIES MURMUR NOISILY IN AGREEMENT AS THEY EXIT, IN BG


MRS. H: No! No, wait a minute, ladies--! Honestly, this man is--!


DENNIS: Well, I guess I gotta be shovin' off, too. Say, Liz, how 'bout you and me gettin' together real soon down at the tattoo parlor and talk over old times?


MRS. H: (FLUSTERED EXCLAMATION)


DENNIS: Because-- (SINGS IN HIS SHAKY OLD MAN'S VOICE) "To spend one night with you / In our old rendezvous ... / And reminisce with you / That's my desire!" (PROUDLY) A little blunted by time, but still mighty powerful! Well, good night, girls! 


SOUND: DOOR SLAMS AS MRS. H AND LADIES EXIT


[APPLAUSE FOR DENNIS] 


MRS. A: (OVERJOYED) Dennis! Dennis, you darling! You dear sweet wonderful boy! You've won the election for me!


DENNIS: (OLD MAN'S VOICE) Why, Mrs.-- (NORMAL VOICE) Mrs. Anderson? Gosh, you knew who I was all the time?


MRS. A: Oh, yes. That shirt you put over your sweatshirt has a button missing and every once in a while I could see Mickey Mouse staring at me. ...


DENNIS: Gee. Well, it worked, anyway.


MRS. A: I know. (OVER-THE-TOP LAUGHTER) ... That voice you used-- That old man's voice-- And when you sang--


DENNIS: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. (SINGS, WITH OLD MAN'S VOICE) "To meet where gypsies play / Down in that dim café ... / And dance till break of day / Oh, that's my desire"! ...


MRS. A: (LAUGHS) Oh, you're [?] tonight, daddy.


DENNIS: I'm a regular Frankie Laine!


MUSIC: CURTAIN


SOUND: APPLAUSE


ANNOUNCER: Dennis Day will be back in just one minute to sing "Mickey." But first--


MUSIC: ACCOMPANIES SINGER OF JINGLE--


SINGER: (TO TUNE OF VICTOR HERBERT'S "TOYLAND")

Dream Girl, Dream Girl,

Beautiful Lustre-Creme Girl.

Hair that gleams and glistens

From a Lustre-Creme Shampoo.

Hair bright, washed right,

Easy to do and dress right,

Hair that's soft and silky

From a Lustre-Creme Shampoo.


3RD ANNCR: Yes, Lustre-Creme Shampoo leaves hair with new three-way loveliness: fragrantly clean, glistening with sheen, soft and easy to manage. Be a Dream Girl, a lovely Lustre-Creme Girl.


MUSIC: ACCOMPANIES SINGER OF JINGLE--


SINGER: (TO TUNE OF VICTOR HERBERT'S "TOYLAND")

Dream Girl, Dream Girl,

Beautiful Lustre-Creme Girl.

You owe your crowning glory to

A Lustre-Creme Shampoo.


MUSIC: JINGLE ENDS ... ORCHESTRA PLAYS 1918 SONG "MICKEY" BY HARRY WILLIAMS AND NEIL MORET ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: With Charles Dant and the Orchestra, Dennis returns to our microphone to sing the old favorite -- and his latest RCA Victor recording -- "Mickey." 


DENNIS: (SINGS "MICKEY")


MUSIC: SONG ENDS


SOUND: APPLAUSE


DENNIS: Good night, everybody!


2ND ANNCR: Remember, doctors proved the Palmolive Plan brings two out of three women lovelier complexions in fourteen days. And this beauty plan with Palmolive Soap was tested on women with all types of skin: dry, oily, even skin that was not clear. Yes, thirty-six doctors proved the Fourteen-Day Palmolive Plan improves all types of skin; brings fresher, brighter, younger-looking complexions. So get Palmolive Soap and start your Fourteen-Day Palmolive Plan now.


MUSIC: THEME ... THEN IN BG


ANNOUNCER: This is Verne Smith reminding you that Dennis Day returns again next week, same time, same station, for the special Christmas Eve show, "The Boy Who--" (FADES OUT ABRUPTLY)


NBC ANNCR: This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company. 


MUSIC: NBC CHIMES

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